Anyone else not do big birthday parties?

[sarathan]

By big, I mean where you invite a bunch of freinds w/ kids, family, etc. Dh and I were discussing this other day... it seems all the birthday parties we go to are so big! There are always at least 10 kids (usually more) and lots of adults. We really dislike the chaos and we prefer to have small birthday parties for our boys with just family. When they get old enough to choose who they want to invite, they can do that. Does anyone else do this? Sometime I feel like we're the only ones!

[amcal]

For us, it depends upon the child. My youngest is more shy and has a small group of friends. She prefers to just have a few friends for her parties.

My oldest is super social, she's friends with everyone in her class and she has a really tender heart. She hates the thought of excluding some of her school mates so she prefers to invite everyone.

But, my kids are older and in school. I think that makes a difference. They are almost 5 and 6 so they have opinions on the subject. When they were the ages of your children, we did family parties only. No friend parties at all. Friend parties started last year (at my youngest's 4 yr party and my oldest's 5 yr party)

[mistymama]

We've only done family parties so far .. grandparents, maybe a few friends, us and Alex.

The biggest "party" we've done so far was this year .. we brought cupcakes and party favors into Alex's preschool on his B'day.

I'm thinking next year when he's in K, we might need to do a bigger party type thing. I dislike the idea, but remember how important they were when I was a kid. I don't want to deprive him of that.

[VBMama]

We've only done family birthday parties so far, no friends invited. I thought about doing one for ds1 turning 4, but when he couldn't really indicate who he would like to invite, I figured it could wait another year!

[Embee]

We're for quiet birthdays over here. It's a tradition to open presents first thing in the am and have cake for breakfast. Then, DS can relax, enjoy his new things, have mom and dad's attention all day and not pine away for "when is the party going to start!!!"

This year we also went out for dinner and to the history museum in the evening. Very enjoyable.

The best,
Em

[MotheringHeart]

This year our oldest DD turns 6. This is the first time we have thrown a party and invited friends. In years past, it has been a family celebration. Tradition in our house is that the celebrant gets to pick cake type/decoration of cake and what the special dinner meal will be. This year we are having a small party. Seven friends that DD picked at our house. We're decorating t-shirts and eating cake. That's it. DP and I just discussed it and we aren't doing a friends over party every year, either.

So, yeah, we do small parties. Or no parties. And I think the kids aren't missing out.

[LilyGrace]

Birthdays are special here, and we've never had a party. For us, it's a day where the birthday person gets to see how much they've grown in the past year and can do whatever they like - a show, a special restaurant, a park....all day is their wishes fullfilled with a lot of family time. We plan in advance, but neither has wanted a party in any year.

[lily sophia's mom]

We had her first birthday party with friends this year (she's 4), and we had 3 friends plus her. All of the moms said "we did this too...I've heard you should have the same number of children as the child's age and this worked out great...." It wasn't originally the plan...some children invited couldn't make it...but it worked out SO well. Not overwhelming, no hurt feelings, and just the right amount of friends for fun. Next year, she'll be ready for a bigger party, and after that, an even bigger party. I think keeping it limited to her age (including her) will be our plan from now on...

Gina

[aliinnc]

I second the idea of having the same number of guests as the birthday child's age. That's what I've always read.
Ali

[AnnieA]

We do small parties. It makes more sense for our family. And because our house is so tiny right now, we do the parties at a location. We have a Michael's craft store in our town and they do great parties. So we have been doing a lot of birthdays there. The minimum is six kids to do a party but once we factor in some of the birthday kid's siblings wanting to participate, we usually invite 3-4 special friends to do the party. Ours are all school age now though so we also take a special treat in on their birthday so they can have a mini-celebration with their whole class.

[miasmommy]

Timely thread!

My daughter will be turning 4 this month & I swear I am the only person in town who has never had a "kid party" We usually have some relatives & close friends over the house or go out for a fun lunch somewhere.

[mattemma04]

I had a friend party for dd when she was in preschool.Did not like the chaos of it or the expense.Now we do strictly family focus parties where the birthday person decides what to do,and anything that would have been spent on a party gets spent on the birthday person.

[LeftField]

We don't do "friends" parties. We only do a small party with family only. I'm sure it will change when the kids are older. They are 4 and 6. It would just be too overwhelming for them; they get overwhelmed easily. And we don't have that many best friends, more like one set of best friends. I just don't know who we would invite that we know super-well, tbh. I like smaller, calmer parties. When I think back on my own big birthday parties with friends, I would often cry or get angry or someone would break something...it was pure chaos and just too much. I'm happy with our set-up.

[angela&avery]

I simply cannot afford big parties, but we have a small party every year. Typically what I do is allow them up to 5 friends from school, and then my parents and brother come and my mil(actually lately the g-parents just come on their bday instead of to the party) and then some of my friends come with their kids.. typically its about 10 kids, its at our house, and we usually do a take home craft, little to no candy, cake and ice cream.

I know 10 seems like a lot, but most people here invite the whole class, which is nuts. I have friends from when I was a kid, and we usually invite each other to each others kids parties, so i cant exclude them.

[ewe+lamb]

We do however many kids for however many years - dd will be six this year and if we have a party (we won't - we're on holiday) she would be able to invite 6 of her friends. Sometimes kids get too overwhelmed and keeping it small seems a much more sensible idea to me, dd went to a friend's party, the mother invited everyone and put alot of pressure on her son and he ended up crying for the whole time, poor wee thing. I guess you should do what suits your family and not worry too much about others!

[OakBerry]

I just do friend parties.
He gets to invite a few friends (about 6) and we usually have it in the back yard. We rent the cheapest moonbounce we can find and set up a kiddie pool.
It's in the middle of summer, so I don't have to deal with the whole school invite thing.

I have a huge family and not everyone has money for so many birthdays (or they don't want to come), so we stick to a friend party. We get together with the grandparents separately for a gift and some cake, which is a nice separate treat.

[Izzy's Mom]

We've only had family parties, which does have a few adults but only a couple of kiddos! Next year I might have a "real" party for my son, when he turns 7, but he still will only be allowed 3-5 invited friends, and we'll do something simple like bowling or a movie. Even a few kids seems like a lot to me, but I have good memories of my birthday parties growing up and I want to give it a chance at least!

[sarathan]

Thanks everyone!

Part of the reason I don't like doing big parties is because it's so darn expensive!! We have had a couple of big parties....but afterwards the house was trashed and we were all exhausted and worn out, it really made me question it.

Thanks again you guys!

[Needle in the Hay]

No big parties here. So far we haven't had any friend parties at all though last year we had a birthday bbq and DS' two cousins were there. He had a great time.

Usually we just do a day of family fun. I think we'll continue that but when he starts to want to invite kids and have a friend party we'll do that. It just will be a relatively simple (but fun) event.

I ran a little English class when DS was 4 and every other week those kids (ages 5-6) were going to someone's bday party. Turned out that each kid invited every other kid in the class so each kid was not only having a huge bday party they were also invited to 15 or so other ones during the year! It was a small community so I definitely understand not wanting anyone to be left out, I was just glad I didn't have to be a part of that!

[One_Girl]

It depends on the year. We always do something to make it a special day along with the presents but sometimes that something is just dinner out with the grandparents.