Biting! (11 month old)

[JoyNChrist]

How do I stop my son from biting?!

Here's the deal...Avery will be 1 on March 1st. He's a biter. Not a "I'm mad so this is my way of dealing with it" biter, but just a "I'm gonna bite you for no reason" biter. Like, we'll be playing and then he'll suddenly bite me on the leg. Or he'll hug me a couple times, then the third time he'll bite me really hard on the shoulder.

I've tried to make him understand (well, as best he can...he's still so little) that it's not okay...sitting him down on the floor and telling him "no", "we don't bite people", "that hurts mommy", etc. I've also tried just ignoring it, but it's just getting worse. He's done it for months - it doesn't seem to make any difference if he's teething, tired, hungry, etc. He just likes to bite!

DH thinks we should start slapping him on the hand when he does it. I'm not totally opposed to spanking in certain situations (no flames please), but certainly not for this and certainly not so young.

The real problem is that he's starting daycare three days a week in March (I'm trying to finish my master's), and they have a "3 bites, you're out" policy. So he simply can't keep doing this! I've never actually seen him bite another child, but we're not around other kids much so it's definitely possible that he'd try it.

What do I do?!

[jmmom]

I'm just curious to see what responses you get. My son, also 11months, bites other people all the time - or would, except that I don't let him! It's an expoloratory thing, from what I can tell. As I said, we don't actually let him bite anyone, including us, but that's managed by preventing it from happening by not letting anything get in his mouth, not from scolding or b/c he has learned not to do it. Other moms/dads at the park with slightly older children, or even strangers, seem to think it is normal, and one dad even said his 19 month old still does it sometimes. I really don't know how you could teach him not to do it - how on earth does the day care enforce this policy? Seems like they wouldn't have anyone under the age of 2!

It also seems to me that slapping on the wrist would only encourage aggression, not stop it.

Watching for more replies...would love to know if there really is a way to solve this!

[Fuamami]

My ds2 tries to do that all the time too. I just don't let him. I do say, "Ohh, don't bite me!" but it's not that big of a deal. He's teething, and I think it just feels good. Just the same as when happily smacks me in the head when I pick him up, or thoughtfully kneads my back fat when he's in the Ergo. I don't think babies that young can really make the connection or resist the sensations.

It seems strange to me that your daycare would apply their policy with a baby. Would you slap his hand if he kept grabbing dangly earrings? Wouldn't you just try to keep him from doing it?

[JoyNChrist]

Originally Posted by natensarah

It seems strange to me that your daycare would apply their policy with a baby.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure that this is the case. They don't take kids 'til they turn 1, and my friend's DS is in the 2 year old class and was recently warned about this rule when her son bit another classmate. Maybe it doesn't apply 'til they're in the 2yo class?

I should probably find that out before getting all worried about it, huh?

[Way Up North]

At that age it is totally exploratory~ it feels good, it gives feedback/ information, he may be teething and it gets a fun reactions form mom and dad, what's not to love?
Seriously it doesn't need to be punished, and I can't imagine a day care enforcing the biting rule on a baby ~ it isn't like he is biting other children or biting out of anger/ frustration.
At that age my dd was a slapper.
We just kept reminding her 'gentle'. 'touch gently' and then showing her how to do it. In time it improved.
Why not play with him "Oh! Did you mean to kiss me? You love me! That's wonderful! Will you kiss me again?" and encourage him to touch gently/ kiss /whatever. It will take time, because his urge to explore is far greater than any impulse control.
But this is normal developmental behaviour and it sounds like you have a very oral kiddo Good luck!