just lost my patience...

[Telle Bear]

I have a 25 month old that has just pushed me to the edge!!! As a general rule he is a great kid. Yesterday, he spent most of the day in a fit of rage. First he cried for almost an hour because we couldn't take a puppet home from story time. Then he cried when I took him to the hospital(I had to get some blood work done). I even made a point of going super early, because I know he loves their toys. He was able to play for almost 30 minutes...
Then he cried when we left there.

A LOT OF CRYING!!!!

Today started off the same..crying...crying..crying..

We just tryed to go down for a nap and after reading a book 3 times. He took another book and threw it at my face screaming read...read...read...and I lost it

I feel really guilty. He seems to feel better. I freaked out and now he is sitting playing..like nothing happened.

Did I scar my child for life??

[JkFelix]

Must be something in our New England air! My 28 month old dd was a WRECK yesterday. All she did is whine and cry all. day. long. I was ready to join her by the time my dh got home from work and then all she did was fuss for him too. The thing was, she wasn't only whiney and crying but also pretty naughty. Doing things she normally just wouldn't do to get some extra attention. I was so sick and tired of hearing my own voice by 10pm last night (yes, she cried til 10pm) that my head was splitting.

Today, dd is with her grammy. Whewwww.......peace and quiet. Of course for her, she is always a little angel.

[ewe+lamb]

I'm amazed you kept your cool till nap time!!! I think you did exceptionally well to go that long - I'm not sure that I could have!! You know it does no harm to show emotion to your child, it's important to learn ALL emotion, happy, sad, angry, frustrated, elated.

Not being able to console a child can be so hard, I'm sure you weren't cruel to him or anything you just showed him that you'd had enough too.

Sometimes we do loose it, if we didn't there'd be something wrong! I'm sure you haven't scarred your son for life. It's just one of the ups and downs of toddlerhood.

[BonMaman]

yesterday was a ringer for us, too. we're all doing better today, thankfully.

[LynnS6]

Well, as my sister used to say "It's nothing a couple years worth of therapy won't cure." (, yes it is a joke!)

All parents lose it sometimes. The key is how you react afterwards. Apologize to him and move on. Don't hold a grudge. Don't kick yourself too hard. I lose it more often than I care to admit, and my kids seem to be OK.

P.S. When my kids have days where they are really off it either means we need to slow down and quit packing so many things in, or they're getting sick.

[Embee]

We all lose it.

The thing is, we're human. We screw up. We sometimes fail to live up to our own parenting standards. I've spent so many hours feeling guilty and beating myself up and restoring my resolve to get back to parenting the way I want to only to lose it again one day when my resolve is low. It happens.

We can't stop ourselves from having strong feelings. We can try to manage them, express them in a mature way, but sometimes we just don't have the emotional resources, for whatever reason. We're tired, strung out, weary...

What we can do is recognize that through connection with our child, being there for him/her they way THEY need us to be, we can heal. Our child can heal. Sometimes my BEST parenting moments come after my worst ones... when I've taken time to calm down, assess to situation outside of my pent up emotions and resolve to get down on the floor and connect with DS. For this, he knows that grumpy mama is only a "sometimes" but she's always willing to do her best to restore good feelings and reestablish our attachment.

I'm a huge fan of Playful Parenting. It's given me much reassurance and advice as to how to reconnect after the disonconnect. This can be a powerful message to send to a kid too: that it's not your mistakes that are important, it's how you approach them, how you make ammends, heal and move on.

Take care of yourself and hang in there, mama.

The best,
Em

[crazyrunningmama]

He's probably getting sick, tis the season! I'm sure he isn't scarred for life! Maybe take the opportunity to plan so next time goes better. It sounds like you had a busy day and maybe he needs more info about what is happening. You could tell him your plans and draw some pictures to go with it, like a "to do" list and help him to have some predictability.

[mylittlefiredancer]

Ehis thread has been so great for me today--thanks to all of the posters!

Embee your post really helped me, thank you so much!!

[Breeder]

The last time I actually lost it (ie: snapped at DS) he was about 3.5 and an excellent artist by this time. I felt horrible immediately after, imagine how I felt when I saw his picture of "Angry Mommy". OH, I cried in the bathroom but DH thought it was hilarious. "It looks just like you." I'll have to link it later (at work can't get on photobucket).

I've always found that really having a clear story of the day can help avoid meltdowns. My DS had an awful time with transitions when he was a toddler. Just telling him, "J and Mama are going to storytime today. We will listen to the lady tell a nice story. Then we will go home for lunch. After that we have to go to the dr's office so mama can have a checkup." ..etc. REALLY helped alot.

Good luck. He won't be scarred for life, sounds like he's already forgotten about it!