Tv & Ds & H

[MtBikeLover]

My son watched America's Funniest Home Videos once when he was watching a show on TIVO that ended and the TV switched back to ABC Family. We heard him laughing so hard and went down to see what it was. So now, my H turns it on for him and records it every day for him and he watches about 2 hours a day of it - 2 shows, each an hour----and usually my H is on the computer while DS is watching so DS is also watching the commercials. I am not ok with this - 2 hours a day is too much in my opinion, especially since it is non-educational TV. I know that not all TV has to be educational which is why i am ok with watching this show every once in awhile.

Ever since he has started watching it so much (last couple of weeks) my son seems more agressive. I tried talking to my H about it, but he didn't want to hear it.

So, what would you do in my situation - let it go or try to convince my H to stop letting him watch it so much? My H is a SAHD so they watch it when I am not home.

[Jessy1019]

Two hours is more than I am comfortable with, too, especially as an every day thing. We do about an hour of kid-oriented tv a day for my five year old . . . she can decide if she wants to use two half hours in the morning (Higglytown and Pooh) or in the evening (Hannah and Suite Life) or split them up and watch one show in the morning and one in the evening. She is pretty good about managing her time. Then, she is allowed to watch whatever we put on at night, while trying to fall asleep. I feel like our shows are more educational than anything she watches on her own, because they bring up interesting topics for her to talk about with us.

Anyway, I would definitely be asking dad to limit him to an hour a day of AFV.

[4evermom]

I don't like that show because so much of it is laughing at people having accidents and getting hurt. I remember one where they stuck a toddler who was afraid of his shadow in the middle of the street on a sunny day and taped him freaking out and crying. Yeah, real funny.

[Ruthla]

This is tough because this isnt' a daycare provider showing him all this TV- it's your DH, your child's other parent. Your husband has just as much right to make parenting decisions as you do. You can't "just put your foot down" because he's your parenting equal, not your employeee.

You need to sit down with him and talk to him about your concerns. Listen to his concerns as well- maybe he's had his hands full with DS and isn't sure how else to fill up 2 hours with him, and doesnt' see the harm in the TV show.

[Shelsi]

Does your dh feel like he's not getting enough breaks or "free" time?

My ds, who is 3, currently watches about 2 hours of TV a day but that's only because dh is deployed. When he's home ds gets about 30-60 mins a day and sometimes none at all. But when dh is gone I just need the free time it gives me.

We do watch AFV but we only watch the new ones on Sunday and it's a special family thing where we all sit down to watch it.

Oh and I remember that shadow one the pp is talking about and it bothered me too.

[ColwynsMommy]

We watch AFV, too, but only once per week. We all get a kick out of it, though when there are clips that are upsetting (my biggest pet peeve are growling dogs.. how is a growling dog supposed to be funny? Yikes!) we do talk about them. Like with the dogs, we talk about how if a dog is growling that means we need to stop what we're doing and move away from the dog, that it's not funny. Or one I saw this week was where an older sib scared a very young kid (who had been asleep) with a Darth Vader mask, we talked about how upset the little kid was and how even if we think something is supposed to be funny, we need to watch the other person's reaction and stop if it's not going over well.

Anyway. I know you weren't asking about that.

Personally, I think that two hours a day of AFV is too much. My kids do watch about two hours a day of TV (mostly in the early AM when I'm not functional, and they're playing at the same time), but I really prefer it be semi-educational stuff like Between the Lions, or at least keep it to Disney or Noggin.

I would talk to your husband about it and let him know why you're concerned. If he needs the break, maybe compromise on what he's watching, if not the amount.. maybe an hour of AFV and an hour of something with a little more value. I stay at home and I totally get the need for the kids to zone out a little with TV.. maybe's just having a rough patch.

[Needle in the Hay]

I'd let your DH make the call on this one. I would also show DS how to FF through the commercials. Even if he likes to watch the commercials, I would think he'd FF through at least some of them to get back to his show.

Anyway, your DH is the one home with him and he probably not only enjoys the break but also enjoys how much your DS enjoys the show. Your DS is not going to be watching 2 hrs of AFV for all of his childhood. It's just something he's into at the moment. It will lose its appeal eventually, probably sooner rather than later if it doesn't get turned into an issue.

FWIW, I'd be ticked if my DH was trying to tell me what to do and not do during our day while he's at work. Actually he has tried, but I got ticked so he backed off. He can make his opinion known though, as you have with your DH, and sometimes I may agree with him.
I would just let them be and know that AFV will not be in your family's life forever (or at least not 2 hrs a day of it!).

[rzberrymom]

I would talk to your DH about your concerns. We're a TV culture, and these issues are rarely talked about (mostly because we're all pretty addicted ) He might not have ever thought about the things you're concerned about.

I agree though that it sounds like your DH needs a break--maybe brainstorming how to get him that needed down-time would help.

[MtBikeLover]

I feel the need to defend myself a little so here goes....

For the record, I am not trying to tell him what to do. But if I see something is affecting our son then as his mom, it is my job to speak up. And my H has agreed in the past that my son gets more aggressive when he watches TV and he actually made the decision himself a couple of months ago to pretty much eliminate all TV and even deleted almost every show on the TIVO.

And my H gets LOTS of free time. I don't leave the house until 8:15, I usually get the kids fed every morning while he stays in bed until the minute I leave, and I do preschool drop off 3 days a week. the second I walk in the door at 5:30, I am mom and he gets to do whatever he wants. So he gets free time from 5:30pm until he goes to bed (usually around 2:00am). And i do most of the housekeeping and cooking so he doesn't even have to do that. Plus, he gets all day on Saturday and Sunday to do what he wants.

I'm not sure how much brainstorming I can do with him to give him MORE free time. If anyone has suggestions, I'm all for it.

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by Shelsi

We do watch AFV but we only watch the new ones on Sunday

I didn't know there was a new one on Sundays - I'll have to check that out. Thanks for the info!

I'm not opposed to him watching it sometimes, i just think that 2 hours a day of that one show is a lot, especially since no one is watching it with him to explain some of the things.

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by MtBikeLover

And my H gets LOTS of free time. I don't leave the house until 8:15, I usually get the kids fed every morning while he stays in bed until the minute I leave, and I do preschool drop off 3 days a week. the second I walk in the door at 5:30, I am mom and he gets to do whatever he wants.

When I mentioned free time, I meant between 8:15 and 5:30--I find that kind of day to be EXTREMELY long with my DD, and I can see the need to take a break during the day. Heck, I can't even pee by myself!

It seems like he's using the tv to get a break during the day, and I was simply suggesting that by trying to help him find other ways to get a break you may solve your tv dilemma.

[Demeter9]

I would focus on the most important point. You have more than one here, and that is probably overwhelming to him.

I think that the priority concern is that THIS show is causing behaviour problems. I would work that angle. Maybe not THIS show, but instead THAT one. Because this show is causing problems.

The TV time is judgement on your DH. Focusing on the TV show being a problem itself, and giving other shows options removes the focus from his behaviour (too much TV) to the content of the show.

[Needle in the Hay]

Originally Posted by MtBikeLover

I feel the need to defend myself a little so here goes....

For the record, I am not trying to tell him what to do. But if I see something is affecting our son then as his mom, it is my job to speak up.

I didn't mean that you were trying to tell your DH what to do but saying that if I were approached in that way I wouldn't respond well to it in case you were thinking that maybe you should ban the show or insist that your DH limit it.

And I do get why you have a problem with AFV. I'm just not sure it's worth making a deal over since he'll probably move on from it soon and you can discuss some of the things that come up on that show that are not funny (even if you didn't watch the show you can discuss which things you think are funny on that show and which are just mean and not funny at all) while respecting that he really likes the show and finds value in it.

I don't see any reason not to offer him other things to watch though if that would help. You could maybe bring home a new-to-him DVD (or TIVO something new to him or something he really likes) and see if he'd prefer to watch that the next day instead of his 2 hrs of AFV. If he doesn't think you're trying to get him off watching AFV he might decide he'd prefer more variety and watch it less. Maybe? Obviously i don't know all the angles so I'm not sure if that would work or if he'd just end up watching AFV and the DVD or other shows.

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by Needle in the Hay

I don't see any reason not to offer him other things to watch though if that would help. You could maybe bring home a new-to-him DVD (or TIVO something new to him or something he really likes) and see if he'd prefer to watch that the next day instead of his 2 hrs of AFV. If he doesn't think you're trying to get him off watching AFV he might decide he'd prefer more variety and watch it less. Maybe? Obviously i don't know all the angles so I'm not sure if that would work or if he'd just end up watching AFV and the DVD or other shows.

This was the route I actually took. I TIVO'd "How it's made" (as recommended from the other thread on TV shows for 5 year olds) and we watched it last night. My son absolutely loved it!! And so did my H so hopefully they will use some of the TV time for that show. And I left my son this morning saying that he was going to build his own factory all day today - boy, I hate to see what the house is going to look like tonight!

[Needle in the Hay]

Originally Posted by MtBikeLover

This was the route I actually took. I TIVO'd "How it's made" (as recommended from the other thread on TV shows for 5 year olds) and we watched it last night. My son absolutely loved it!! And so did my H so hopefully they will use some of the TV time for that show. And I left my son this morning saying that he was going to build his own factory all day today - boy, I hate to see what the house is going to look like tonight!

How cool! I've heard a lot of good things about that show, I hope they put out a collection of them on DVD sometime soon.

[lucyem]

My DH & sons watch AFV nightly. After dinner I go outside to work with the horses and its dad time. I keep my mouth shut other then the commercials. Up until recently the commercials were pretty scary. Like NC-17 movie commercials that freaked me out at 6:30 pm on ABC Family. My DH was constantly shutting it off during commercials. Recently we noticed this has changed and its not so bad now. My DH usually is on the couch with them and enjoying it with them. I did complain at one point when I realized they were watching an hour of it and DH has cut back. But between winter and kids or us being sick there are times it increases. The problem is trying to find good educational tv that all 3 can stand. So AFV it is.

[anhaga]

I vote you help them find a more appropriate show. You could also find movies that are family appropriate and that helps to stop some of the commercial problems.