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Hair Help

post #1 of 59
Thread Starter 
My DD is half white and half Nigerian. I have never liked to do my own straight hair, just brush and go. DDs curls are amazing and lovely, but so dry. What natural products can I use? I've used California Baby leave in conditioner. But even when I put in a quarter size dollop on her little head of hair, it barely helps. I've read that using straight oil, like apricot or almond oil isn't a good idea because it blocks the hair follicle. Her hair is still very short so not long enough for braids yet. Although at 2 1/2 she doesn't have the patience to sit thru it yet, not to mention me. Any suggestions? I love the wild and free look of the spiral curls, but is it far more work and more hair products to get there?
post #2 of 59
When going the natural route, I use Olive Oil for my dd's hair. It softens and is light and lets the scalp breathe. But I also found a nice detangling lotion at the black beauty supply. I have never looked for it outside of my neighborhood. I will report back when I get home the name of it. But I love it, it is relatively inexpensive and smells great!
post #3 of 59
ahh, hair...just my topic

I'm going to start using olive oil, but it's my first try with anything else than shampoo. I bought a vaporizer today, I'm thinking that might be a bit easier on her hair (and scalp) than massaging it in. In any case it sounds a lot nicer than the things I could get at the local African store- right now I want to try and use more natural stuff.

But if anyone has other good ideas, I'd be very interested as well!
post #4 of 59

you know to only shampoo once a week right? try carrot oil

first, you know to only shampoo once a week right? then try organic root stimulator carrot oil. use it as a leave in conditioner. you can get it online at texas beauty supply. anyway, after shampooing her hair rinse but dont towel dry, add generous amounts of carrot oil, partition her head in to 4 or 5 sections, doing one section at a time just twist with two strands of hair. let air dry. if she cant sit still for this long then try three braids, till she gets used to the ritual, add additional braids each time you redo her hair.

you can use the carrot oil as a leave in conditioner when ever you comb her hair. combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters. i hope this makes sense.
post #5 of 59
My hair is fairly curly, I take care not to wash it too often, a few times a week, so it doesn't dry out. I do wet it every day to style it. I use leave in conditioner, and for the most part for convenience, I put it in a ponytail. I also sleep with a high ponytail on my head so I'm not smashing the hair. Never brush the hair dry, in fact try to use a wide toothed comb.

My hair was a disaster until I found a hairstylist here who specialised in curly hair and developed (not natural, but very gentle) products and specific haircuts to minimise bulk. Ironically the person who developed the technique is white and has super straight hair, but he knows curls and so do his staff.
post #6 of 59
ajv, Love how you threw that shampoo thing in first.
post #7 of 59
I'll have to agree with pp about washing the hair only once a week. My DD has super dry hair and skin. We only bathe her every other day to begin with! I also found some "baby oil" from Whole Foods, but the main ingredient is olive oil! It seems to help. I make parts in DD's hair and skirt the oil in then massage it and comb it through. Her hair is not quite long enough to braid all over, but in some sections it is. I kind of prefer the "natural" look myself as I have never been a "girly girl" or into doing my own hair (which is super straight, lol). I love what ajv said "combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters." How true! I never really thought about it since I'm not into doing my own hair but you are so right!
post #8 of 59
Hello,
I am not very well experienced in curls as I have super straight hair but I've read in various books and articles that dry hair and skin could be a symptom of omega-3/essential fatty acids deficiency. So maybe you'd want to look into that as well?
HTH
post #9 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by grumpybear View Post
Hello,
I've read in various books and articles that dry hair and skin could be a symptom of omega-3/essential fatty acids deficiency.
Interesting. I will look into that. Thanks.
post #10 of 59
I have two sample kits on their way to my house.
One is from www.oyinhandmade.com
and the other is from www.curls.biz (I ordered the kids line, but when I have the baby I want to try their organic baby line).

Anyways, I rarely rarely ever shampoo. Then I put a generous amount of conditioner in her hair and comb it in with a wide toothed comb and let it sit for a while while she plays in the tub. Then I rinse it out and comb it again. When its still wet a little I add some creamy leave-in conditioner and scrunch her curls.

Sometimes I 'wash' it but skip the shampoo part.
post #11 of 59
We started using some oyin products, too, about six months ago - and boy, have they helped our ds hair grow and be softer and not so dry, matty, and stringy, wild, breakable, etc. I love the greg juice for quick moisturization which I use before we leave the house, and love the honey hemp conditioner they offer in the sample pack...we use the cond. after baths and just leave it in and use a wide toothed pik to comb out any knots. Not quite ready to dread it yet, although parts of his hair are ready I think. OUr ds' hair is really really crazy. I know lots of mixed kids and have seen plenty of the different heads of hair and still have yet to see any like ds' AT ALL.

It definitely depends on how recently it was washed and if there is any cond. or greg juice sprayed in, but for the most part - the top/back area of his head is super curly and coarse. The front is almost totally straight, with a little wave sometimes and as you move back on his head it gets curlier. The back/bottom is half bald and easily breaks and the other half is a total mix of curly/coarse and straight and soft. The sides are usually sticking straight out and very dry and coarse yet with no curl. He's got it all, I swear! Its sometimes a pitb, but mostly we just smile and let it go however wild and weird it looks...Most people comment on his hair before anything else and I don't know if they like it or not, but always something like, "whoa, look at that hair!" or closer friends will say, "That hair is crazy, kiddo!" Whatever. I guess we'll figure out what to do with it at some point.

I know how to comb, separate, and braid (cornrow, I should specify) because dh has 2 little sisters who have spent many weekends at our house with us over the past 7 years - so I HAD to learn, basically. And, not that I would want to braid ds' hair ever, but I am glad to have had the experience with both of their hair types because yes, the care and maintenance is SO different than with us with typical "white" hair. And, I've learned (after working as a teacher in the inner city and knowing dh's family's ways) how many black women mismanage their own children's hair - mostly because of what types of products are sold in their beauty supply stores (cheaper and many petroleum based oils/grease, and hair ties that damage, etc.) So, wanting to manage and care for coarse curly hair is not always easy to discover - if you want to do it naturally. ykwim? So many women in dh's family have such broken and damaged short hair with hair lines completely pushed back further and further (from long term micro braids and lots of chemical treatments, etc) that now has to be covered in wigs because of how they wore it over so many years. Some of the more rasta or non urban type ladies in his family never got into the braiding and wear their hair naturally or in dreads, and it seems more the way to go if you want your hair to last and stay strong and beautiful. Just takes more work, I guess.

I always took for granted that I can wake up in the morning and throw my hair back in a ponytail or not and not worry about it for days on end. I can't even remember the last time I used a comb or brush. I do own one, but don't know where it is - I'd have to search. Just ONE of the things I took for granted until going to college and meeting people different from myself.

sorry for babbling. :
post #12 of 59
We use oyin, too, but in it's absense ($$), we're using coconut oil & detangler
post #13 of 59
No shampoo here. I'm AA/black and my kids are black/white mix. I wear my hair natural and haven't used shampoo (except a few times) for about two years. I use conditioner and massage it in and rinse once a week or so. On the other days I wet it and either put in Paul Mitchell Foaming Pomade, or a little Bed Head Ego Boost mixed with conditioner and then the PMFP. While this combo works really well for me, I want to change b/c of all the SLS and other stuff in there.

As for dd, no shampoo for her either. She has slightly curly hair, that doesn't tend to be too dry, but the shampoo would probably dry it out more. I do the same for youngest ds.

The older boys do use shampoo w/conditioner mixed in, but they all have hair that is more on the "white" side, so mine is probably a closer match.
post #14 of 59
I use this stuff and love it. I'm biracial, btw, sounds like your DD has my kind of hair. You should also check out this site, though it can be overwhelming w/ the amount of info and products.
post #15 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajv View Post
first, you know to only shampoo once a week right? then try organic root stimulator carrot oil. use it as a leave in conditioner. you can get it online at texas beauty supply. anyway, after shampooing her hair rinse but dont towel dry, add generous amounts of carrot oil, partition her head in to 4 or 5 sections, doing one section at a time just twist with two strands of hair. let air dry. if she cant sit still for this long then try three braids, till she gets used to the ritual, add additional braids each time you redo her hair.

you can use the carrot oil as a leave in conditioner when ever you comb her hair. combing hair can be such a nuturing ritual between mothers and daughters. i hope this makes sense.
where do you get the carrot oil? I'd like to try that as well...Is it a strong smell? Ds seems bothered by that...but I'd still try anyway just to see.
post #16 of 59
I saw some carrot oil in CVS the other day but didn't buy it. We're using the olive oil/baby oil for now. Here's a link to what I saw at CVS:
post #17 of 59
Kids' Organics is what I use, sorry it took me a minute to confirm the name and I couldn't find a website for the actual product, but here is what the detangling lotion looks like and they have a super gro that smells great, too... Hope this helps! I buy it at the beauty supply up the street from my home and both products are $2.99 apiece.

http://www.walgreens.com/store/produ...&id=prod399965

http://www.walgreens.com/store/produ...id=prod1083831
post #18 of 59
I noticed those have BHA in them. I'm not too savvy about this stuff, but I thought BHA wa a not so good thing?
post #19 of 59
ah, i had not prior seen it on the list and honestly, wasn't aware of what it was, but now, i am mad as hell. how could they be allowed to market it? darned FDA! : i will be switching to something else. back to square one. :
post #20 of 59
The pics are huge, sorry.

Okay, DD is triracial (AA/Hisp(Mex)/white) and I am white with straight-ass do-nothing-ever hair. Her hair length now is approximately:
*just-past-the-shoulders when allowed to air-dry and all springy-curly
*mid-shoulder-blade when brushed while dry (read: frizzy)
*to the small of her back when brushed straight while wet

I know logically what I'm supposed to do with her hair, but just can't do it. For example, brushing/combing her hair.

I know I'm not ever supposed to brush her hair dry, but I also can't spend upwards of an hour every single morning getting the tangles out. We have one of these brushes (DD prefers the soft side) that we use to smooth the surface hair back into a ponytail pretty much every morning. Am I destroying her hair?

When her hair is wet, I simply cannot comb it. Everyone says, use a wide-toothed comb, right? It does not work. It tugs and it hurts and it sucks. Usually what we do is this: at bathtime, with tons of conditioner gooped on and soaking in, I sit with her for over half an hour and using my fingers slowly separate out every single strand of hair from the knots they live in.

If I do this routine, and then just let her hair air-dry with a leave-in conditioner in it, it will look like this (styled with curl-rejuvenator stuff) or like this (unstyled, two years ago, and about 6 inches shorter). It will look like this for 3 hours, tops, until it starts to tangle up all over and dreadlock in the middle.

I admit to being a bad triracial-hair-doing-momma and using DP's brush to *gasp* yank the tangles out while her hair is dry, which completely frizzes her hair out to its full frizzy potential (which is damned cute, btw, but probably not the best for her hair) and leaves her looking like this (upside down, but it looks pretty much the same right-side up, anyway).

I am not skilled enough to do even relatively small braids or french braids or anything. I have tried to braid her hair back in four or five sections at the back of her head before bedtime. By morning, the ends of the braids have curled up and over the rubber bands, wormed their way into the braids proper, and begun to take root up near where the braids start at her scalp.

DD will not tolerate anything on her head at night (no scarves, covers, hats, wraps, anything). She also will not tolerate her hair down and loose, as it gets in her face all night and she can't stand it when her neck gets sweaty. We usually just pull it back in a ponytail - and end up cutting the ponytail holder out in the morning, because so many hairs curled around and under it that it's impossible to remove.

HELP!!!
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