Being Too Chill?

[boigrrrlwonder]

I have a hard time trying to figure out when to intervene when my child interacts with other children. She's not quite a year old. Like, she constantly grabs toys out of other children's hands - should I intervene every time or will she still eventually learn to share if I only interfere if the other child seems upset about the snatched toy? Or another parent tells me that my kid pushed their child a couple of minutes after it happened (while I had been looking away) - is there something I should have done? (I guess something else to mention is that she's pretty pre-verbal. Not talking. The only sign she makes is "want" and "up" - I really believe that telling her to be gentle at any time except directly after the fact would be done more to appease the parent than benefit her.) And the list goes on. Even though I know that this is just how very young toddlers act, I feel embarrassed that I'm not doing something - especially after I see others put other children her age in "time out" - I feel a lot of pressure to do *something*, but a lot of the skills I see in information about gentle discipline is directed at parents of children who can talk, compromise, etc... and that's just not where we're at.

[3*is*magic]

Sweetie, don't sweat it. You're not being too chill AT ALL. Your daughter is a BABY. If other parents feel the need to tattle on her when she pushes, perhaps THEY need a time out.

If you SEE her take a toy from a child, and it upsets the child, I think it's OK to gently give it back to the other child and say something like "it's nice to share" and then redirect her attention to another toy, but honestly, what you describe is age appropriate behavior for your daughter. I don't think it requires constant vigilance on your part.

[phathui5]

I would only return the toy if the other kid minded.

At her age, in her mind, she's not taking the toy from someone. She sees a toy, decides she's going to play with it, and grabs it, regardless of where it is.