Originally Posted by mariskamom
Thank you so much for this posting! Last night was my first attempt at not allowing 12 month old DD to nurse for a period of time and it was rough! She cried for 12 minutes - very hard sobbing. She was very difficult to sooth and I cannot tell you how awful I felt. The next wake up was easier and I did nurse her early in the morning.
I feel like I have to do this now because DD is biting VERY hard and it is especially true at night. I can't seem to get her to stop biting and I can't take it anymore. Plus, she is tired from waking every 1-2 hours and so am I.
I recommend reading Pantey's No Cry for Toddlers book as it gave me other ideas to use with Dr. Gordon's suggestions. I am not going to do the no sooth either. Just no breast.
Please continue to check in on this posting! I want to hear how it is going and exchange ideas. This is one of the hardest things I have had to do as a mother.
So, I'm not alone out there! I know what you mean by this being one of the hardest things to do as a mother. The way that I feel okay about it is to know that DH and I are right here with him the entire time - no letting him cry alone - just lots and lots of love, massage and sweet sounds. And, I have to remember that it's not like he's starving or being neglected. He's basically just not getting something that he wants. And up until this point, I've been fine with giving him EVERYTHING he needs and wants, but now I believe it's my job as his parent to do what's best for ALL of us, while lovingly guiding him through it. And, like Dr. Gordon's book says, having co-slept with him and been an AP parent, we have basically raised him to be able to handle something like this. This is what I am thinking in my head when he's fussing and trying to get into my shirt at 1am!
Also, something I think is really helpful (but hard in the moment) is being calm and confident. No mother truly feels this when her baby is upset, but last night, I really tried hard to keep my wits and be a rock for him - talking the same, massaging the same, kissing his little head the same - not getting all anxious and worked up myself. I think that helped him to know that everything was indeed okay - if mama's okay, then it must be okay.
Another little thing that worked was me whispering to him. I started out singing, then humming some of our favorite soothing tunes and then I started whispering the words because I thought the singing might be too loud. Something about the whispering really seemed to calm (or intrigue) him. When I could tell that he was starting to roll over and try to put himself to sleep, I slowly trailed off so that it was silent.
I'm sort of dreading tonight because I'm worried about a scenario in which DS doesn't wake up before the window and then he really does go a long time without milk. I'm hoping that we paved the way last night and tonight's fussing and wakefulness will be less because of that. One good thing with being through a full night of it is that DS knows that the "milkies" are not totally gone. He at least knows that they return when the sun comes up and are still "all you can eat." So hopefully tonight he will remember that and be more okay with it.
I will definitely keep posting to let you know where we are after tonight.
Poor DH is so tired today - he's never up like that in the middle of the night - especially for 1.5 hours!
Originally Posted by TonyaW
Well, I tried this one night with my son and decided to stop. My son was waking hourly a couple weeks ago and now is down to every 2 hours. We actually had a 6 hour stretch of sleep a couple of nights ago, unless I just don't remember waking, and I thought I was glad I didn't continue with trying to night wean my 14 mo old son. But since that one night we are back to every 2 hours and then in the early morning hours of 4am on he wakes hourly. So I am considering the night weaning thing again. However I don't know if my son is ready. The night we tried he cried for 30 minutes and begged, begged, begged to nurse saying, "shaw, shaw, shaw over and over which I don't know what it means but he says it when he wants to nurse and pulling my shirt up and crawling on me and straddling me. I felt so horrible! Then he stopped and just played in bed for an hour and I broke down and finally nursed him to sleep. I know I didn't do my part but I read something a couple of days later that made me feel like I shouldn't have done it. Now I don't remember what.
Anyway my son is underweight in the negative 5th percentile and my ped suggested that it was becasue he is nursing all night long and not eating enough solids in the daytime because he isn't hungry enough. Does anyone know if this is true and have a similar experience? I know waking too often can result in growth hormones being low too. If this is a strong possibility then night weaning will become a priority! I just feel so bad when he cries and begs and so exhausted when I can't sleep in the middle of the night!
I don't know anything about weight linked to nursing at night. Actually, I would've thought it worked the other way - babies who didn't nurse through the night were smaller, but that just goes to show what I know!
I'm not sure if you have a helpful DP, but having someone else there would surely make it easier on you when your DS begs for milk. I hope you're able to get that kind of support if night weaning is the direction you want to go.