my 3 yo is talking like a baby and it's driving me nuts!

[shooflymama]

anyone have any suggestions for how to get him to stop doing this? his eyes get a kind of vacant look and then he starts acting like a more poorly-behaved version of his 18 mo brother (including yelling and tatrum-esque behavior) and talking like a baby. i've tried asking him to speak big-boy language, telling him i can't understand him, and even ignoring him, and nothing seems to stem this behavior. it's particularly upsetting to me when we're out in public - the other day we were introduced to someone new, and usually he's very friendly and polite and says hi, but this time he started talking baby talk and went limp onto the floor. argh!!!!

he has never shown much jealousy with his brother, but maybe it was just delayed? he has also been being more aggressive towards DS2 lately, and also more clingy to my husband and i.

i also noticed the behavior got worse after he spent the night at my parents' house a week ago. he said he had fun, and has asked to do it again (several times), but maybe he was a little freaked out? he hadn't stayed there overnight in recent memory, though he did when he was younger (not often, but a few times and he seemed to have a lot of fun). he spends a lot of time with my parents and at their house, so it wasn't a totally new experience by any stretch of the imagination.

if you have any suggestions or thoughts, i would so love to hear them! i am trying to stay patient, but am getting increasingly frustrated/annoyed.

thanks!!!!!!

[LianneM]

My 3 year old does a baby thing too - just fake crying, but it's whiny and annoying. He does it when he really needs to connect. He wants me to hold him like a baby (cradle him) and tell him it's ok, Mama's here, stroke his hair, etc.

Maybe your son needs to connect with you? More possible after the overnight stay?

The aggressive behavior can be a communication of sad or scared feelings inside, so I would definitely try to help him feel safe and reassured, especially when he's acting that way (which is often the hardest time to respond with love)

[tooticky]

My ds started baby talk shortly after dd was born - he was 3 at the time.

He is extremely well spoken normally, but starts in with things like "Me want food!" or "No go outside!"

I find it terribly annoying as well, especially when he does it around other people.

Like the pp, I think it happens when he feels like he needs some undivided attention.

Something we did which seemed to help a bit was for dh and I to start in with the baby talk too! We'd all sit around going "Me want cookie!!!" in funny voices. Not meanly or mockingly, just trying to make it funny and so that he'd hear that it sounded pretty silly for someone who is able to speak properly to talk like a cave man....

That said, he still baby talks from time to time (a year later).

[mamazee]

My daughter did this and never had a sibling. She still does it every so often. Growing up is scary.

[rinse_repeat]

My daughter did the same thing for awhile after her sister was born. I just attributed it to the new situation and ignored it, talking to her in the same way that I always have. She eventually stopped and talks in her normal tone now.

[hipumpkins]

My DD did this probably around that age and I had to face the fact that it was my own pride that made it hard to deal with.
DD was an early talker and was and still is very articulate...the baby talk was annoying b/c she didn't talk like that.
I think that is why it worse when "other people" are around.

you could get into the game with them and baby them which we ended up doing.
I still detest baby talk but I know it my issue...DD will still do it but only every now and then and I know she does it when she feels insecure or nervous about something.

[tooticky]

Oh yes - I totally know that being annoyed when he does it around other people is my issue! I have always been proud of how early learned to talk and how articulate he is now.

[LynnS6]

The fastest way to stop this in my house is to play along with it. When dd does this, it's always a sign that she needs to be coddled a bit more.

So, I get out the baby bottle for her (this, the child who NEVER drank from a bottle while an infant, even though I WOH, she just reverse cycled and waited till I got home!). We build a 'crib' for her on the couch and I tuck her in. I hold her like a baby and cuddle her (hard to do with a nearly 40 lb kid!). Usually after about 30 minutes, it's out of her system.

If it's not, I will sometimes mention that it's really too bad I don't have a bigger kid around because I need help.... insert something she loves doing (baking cookies, mopping the floor, scrubbing the toilet (I kid you not, she adores cleaning the toilet!)).

I will also play up the baby talk thing too -- but then we talk "funny" in my house all the time. Dd and I pretend to talk to each other in a 'foreign' language. Since I'm a linguist, I play with language all the time, so my kids wouldn't see that as weird at all!

[madskye]

DD will be three in two months! She spent yesterday running around the house with a babybottle, pretending to be a baby. I think it's just a phase they go through, becoming more aware that they are turning into big kids!

I would just tell people he's pretending to be a baby. Unless you're worried that it's a real language regression, in which case you might want to check in with your pediatrician.

[Roar]

This is an absolutely normal and typical phase for three and four year olds. Many kids go through this whether they have siblings or not. As another poster said go along with it, embrace it and give some extra attention. I would go with "oh goodie my baby is here, come get a snuggle baby..." Treat it as an acceptable form of pretend play and don't make it a big deal. It can be a nice time to provide some extra cuddles and also to talk about memories of your kid as a baby. As irritating as you find this phase right now remember that someday you are really going to even miss the fake baby time.

[sweetpea333]

my 3.5 is also doing this, vacant stare and all, she has a 2 year old sister and it's like she is mimmicking her. She especially does it at her grandmother's.. for the whole time we're there. I think she thinks her sister is really cute and likes the attention her sister gets when she does something new, even tho she gets equally enough attention. It really annoyed me at first but now I realize she's just wants some baby attention too.

[Embee]

This is really normal for this age. My DS is an only and he went through it to, very intensely. He would even bring me his blanket and ask me to swaddle him. So I did. And when he cried like a baby, I hugged him or picked him up. This is one of those things like so many others that if we just go with it, trust our child to be at the place where they need to be, it will pass with little incident. If we fight it, they will up the ante until we see that they are truly in need... even if it feels like they are 'faking it' they are still 'faking it' for a reason. KWIM?

This is one of those pivotal times in childhood, a big leap from babyhood to kidhood I believe and they know it, feel it for sure. It's a big transition for them and to think of it I've rarely seen developmental leaps that weren't preceded by a developmental regression. Totally normal.

One thing I noticed with me is that DS acting like a baby while annoying sometimes, wasn't a huge deal. OTOH, my friends with younger children were really annoyed by it and I think, with good reason. You've already got a baby toddling about! My good friend had come to expect more from her oldest once the baby was born so this phase felt like a huge regression and inconvenience to her (I'm not suggesting you feel this way). Once she saw how I was handling it, she relaxed, went with it and our big kids (both the same age) came through it relatively quickly... and beautifully. After that time I remember DS wanting me to tie his blanket around him so he could use it for a sling for HIS baby.

Hang in there, mama! This too shall pass...

Em