18 mo old running into the road!

[coloradomama1]

i need help! this is the first real thing i've felt the need to discipline dd for but i'm at a total loss as to how to go about it. i've tried firm no's, giving her 3 chances before i take her inside and yelling in frustration-all to no avail. in fact, it's gotten worse. she now runs into the road first thing and looks over her shoulder to make sure i'm looking. i know she's testing me and her limits but this is a very dangerous situation and i need suggestions on how to handle it. i totally agree with gentle discipline but don't really know where to start...
suggestions?
ps-in case you're wondering we live in a cul de sac and when i say she gets 3 chances it's when she's putting one foot into the road to test me and then on #3, we're either inside or head out back.

[woodchick]

Do you have a backyard to play in? My 20 month old doesn't always listen when I think she should. I try hard to keep us both out of situations that will frustrate us.

Otherwise, I would stay on top of her. Keep her engaged in activites on the grass. Or keep yourself positioned between her and the street.

[freestyler]

Someone that young is really NOT to be trusted to stay out of anything dangerous. Don't let her play near the road ever, whether you live on a culdesac or not. Try the back yard if you have one, or just play at parks or in the playroom. Otherwise, you'll have to just stick to her like a leech...not much fun for either of you. They don't understand danger at that age. They are just babies that can walk, that's all.

[freestyler]

Someone that young is really NOT to be trusted to stay out of anything dangerous. Don't let her play near the road ever, whether you live on a culdesac or not. Try the back yard if you have one, or just play at parks or in the playroom. Otherwise, you'll have to just stick to her like a leech...not much fun for either of you. They don't understand danger at that age. They are just babies that can walk, that's all.

[_betsy_]

What's the layout? Is there a sidewalk before the road, so you can clearly show her a boundary? Could you spray paint, plant, put a rock border or otherwise give her a line she is not allowed to cross?

Try this - at home, play some music, and dance around with her. Periodically stop the music and yell "FREEZE!" and everyone freezes. Do it frequently until she catches on. Do it without any music playing, too. Once it works inside the house, it should work outdoors, too.

She's so little she has no concept of the ability of an outside force to hurt her. She has no idea why you're upset about her going into the road, she just knows it gets a BIG reaction.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by freestyler

Someone that young is really NOT to be trusted to stay out of anything dangerous. Don't let her play near the road ever, whether you live on a culdesac or not. Try the back yard if you have one, or just play at parks or in the playroom. Otherwise, you'll have to just stick to her like a leech...not much fun for either of you. They don't understand danger at that age. They are just babies that can walk, that's all.

:

At that age it is our job to keep them safe, not their job to control their bodies yet.

-Angela

[coloradomama1]

Originally Posted by alegna

:

At that age it is our job to keep them safe, not their job to control their bodies yet.

-Angela

i'm sorry but there is always something so patronizing about how you say things. it's unfortunate because i usually agree with you!

[nhapmom]

there is no way an 18 month old can understand those boundaries. the appropriate action is for you to keep her out of the street..

[coloradomama1]

thanks for the quick replies!

you guys are all so right. i don't know what it is, maybe that she started walking and maturing early, but i always think she's older than she is and thus expect too much from her maybe. she IS just a baby who can walk (RUN!) and i need to treat her as such. we do have an awesome backyard and that's where we spend our entire summer but it's been pretty muddy this winter so we've beenheading out front. i don't know why i was trying to force her on this when it was obvious i should have just redirected. THANK YOU!

[MtBikeLover]

It seems that you have already decided to hang in the backyard, but if you would like another perspective, I'll offer mine. We live on a corner lot. Around 16 months, my DD made a beeline for the road. I was watching her very closely and ran to her and said "If you want to cross the street, you have to do it the right way." I explained how cars are very dangerous, taught her that she needed to hold either mommy or daddy's hand, she needed to look both ways, and then she could cross the street. Then we practiced over and over as long as she wanted. I think we went back and forth about 20 times. Every single time, I reiterated that you get a hand, look both ways, and then cross the street.

When we would go outside after that day and I would see her looking at the street, I would ask her if she wanted to cross and we would do it the right way.

That seemed to take the thrill out of it because it was not off limits. It was never a forbidden activity...it just had to be done safely.

I honestly can't recall her ever running in the street after that. And I did the same thing with my son at that age and we also never had any issues with him either.

[freestyler]

Well I'm glad that has worked for your kids MtBikeLover. But it doesn't always work, and I personally wouldn't want to bet their lives on it working consistently, reliably, and when there is a cute baby bunny on the other side of the street! Playing not near the street is the only way to go for us. Even 7 year olds get distracted and forget about cars sometimes.

[allgirls]

I would do what Mtbikelover did and still watch like a hawk as Freestyler and Angela say.

It's the impulse control...even if they know the rule they often can't do what they should in those situations. The impulse is so strong sometimes

Traffic is deadly dangerous. Supervision is a must for me.

[HarperRose]

Get a harness. They're too young to grasp what their boundaries are yet. Just keep redirecting her and reminding her.

[GuildJenn]

The harness made life happy again for us at that age. It let me son explore without getting run over, saved my back and his arms, and I didn't have to say no all the time. He's 2.5 now and doesn't need it.

[MtBikeLover]

Originally Posted by freestyler

Well I'm glad that has worked for your kids MtBikeLover. But it doesn't always work, and I personally wouldn't want to bet their lives on it working consistently, reliably, and when there is a cute baby bunny on the other side of the street! Playing not near the street is the only way to go for us. Even 7 year olds get distracted and forget about cars sometimes.

I never said that I wasn't nearby and still watching my kids. We have no gates/fences up in our yard and two streets to contend with so there is absolutely no way to play "not near the street" for us if we want to spend time outside.

I was only posting what has worked for us as a different perspective.
I stand by what I posted and I think it is extremely important to teach kids about streets and to respect their curiousity by finding a way to satisfy it in a safe, teachable way.

[freestyler]

Yup, agreed, it is important to teach them the exact rules for the street. We have done that too...but sometimes, even my "bigger" kids will get excited and try to run across. It makes me so nervous.

Good luck with finding the solutions that work for you, Colorado Mamma. (Colorado, mmm, I dream of living there. I LOVE the mountains.)

[CalebsMama05]

wow my almost 3y/o still doesn't quite have the impulse control for me to teach him about the street (although I do anyways...you never know when he'll just get there)

my 19m/o gets carried around streets. period. when they want to play we play inside or go to the park. but then I am just one mama and there are two of them.