I definitely don't think your crazy. I did a search on the internet for "get rid of springtails" and found this:http://http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/2000/2070.html
Springtails are commonly found where there are sources of moisture. Any means to provide a drying effect in the home is very effective, such as the use of a fan or dehumidifier, or repairing plumbing leaks and dripping pipes. Avoid over-watering potted house plants and allow the soil to dry between watering, if possible. Outside the home, remove excessive mulch, moist leaves, prune shrubbery and ground cover, and eliminate low, moist areas around the house foundation to permit proper air circulation. Remove wet, moldy wood or other moldy items. Since springtails are attracted to light and may pass under lighted doorways at night, use good light discipline.and thishttp://http://en.allexperts.com/q/En...65/bug-rid.htm
"Springtails are moisture-dependent, and graze mostly on decaying organic matter, fungal spores, etc, so they aren't really anything more than a nuisance. You'll have to make the place bone-dry to deter them I suspect, and they will still frequent places like the shower. You might try diatomaceous earth or something like that to help dessicate them to death.
Springtails are among the most abundant of organisms (they are no longer classified as insects, by the way, but as "non-insect hexapods." Don't ask me why.), so you are in no danger of rendering them extinct by controlling them:-) Please do as you see fit, but toxic chemicals, as you have apparently discovered, aren't terribly effective against them."
I know you said you tried everything but I hope that helps.