Breastfeeding sucks! UPDATE - We made it!!

[day-by-day]

OK, that was an attention seeking title, but really I am looking for some encouragement. This is my fifth baby and my fourth with nursing difficulties, so I've been through this before, but I am feeling pretty discouraged.

I know all about positioning a baby at the breast. I know about a good latch and what it is supposed to look like. I know what is SUPPOSED to be happening. But my babies just don't know how to nurse! By my second day post-partum my little girl spit up blood from my cracked, scabbed, and bleeding nipples. She doesn't take enough of my breast into her mouth. She thrusts with her tongue instead of holding with her tongue. She chomps with her gums instead pulling with her jaw. And she totally refuses to nurse with the nipple shield, which was my savior in the past.

I've been taking a bit of a break today to try to heal a bit and to make sure she is getting enough to eat. So I've been pumping and we've been finger feeding her. Oh the irony of the amount of paraphrenalia I have to make this "natural" process work.

We are going to make it, she and I. I've been through this before, and I'm very committed to breastfeeding. But it HURTS, and I'm discouraged.


UPDATE: She's nursing! After nearly three and a half weeks, she finally started to latch on. Something just clicked for her, because I wasn't doing much different. At first we needed to be sitting just so, with a certain pillow, using both hands, and practically undressed to make it work. (Certainly not conducive to feeding in public.) But by her 1 month birthday, she was good enough at it that I was able to feed her while we were out to dinner at a restaurant. Now we're 100% nursing. No more pumping. No more finger-feeding. No more EBM in bottles. Thanks for all your suggestions and words of encouragement. WE DID IT!!!

[dioramamama]

Not in your ddc, but just wanted to send a hug. My first 4 weeks nursing my first were total pain. It felt like pirhannas on my boobs. Same deal -- I knew about positioning, knew what a good latch was, had assistance from my mw, etc. and it still sucked.

And it passed. . . eventually!

Good luck!

[PlayaMama]

oh mama...: for better nursing!

it sounds like you know just what you're doing. good for you for keepin' on!!

[sarahn4639]

DD had problems similar to what you describe. It is so difficult! It just takes gritted teeth and an abnormal dedication for some of us to get through the early weeks. Just keep reminding yourself how wonderful it is in the long run!!

[3for3hb]

not in your ddc but just wanted to say that it sounds like her masseter muscles are all locked up. A good chiropractor who does soft touch work or a cranial sacral therapist who has experience with infants should be able to really help.

[mamatomax]

It does suck I'm so right there with ya! DS1 was a natural, but DS2 (born on Monday) is actually having to be taught how to breastfeed. He's doing well, but he killed my boobs in the first 3 days, so now every time I nurse I'm in agony. The new baby always wants to just suck on the tip of my nipple (ouchie!), so it takes me re-latching him on there properly many times every time we nurse. He seems to be getting better these last 2 days. I'm just hoping that my boobs get a moment to heal up a bit because (with him being huge--born 9lb. 5oz.) this child is ravenous!

Hope things start to go more smoothly for you (and me!) soon!

[CalebsMama05]

Originally Posted by mamatomax

It does suck I'm so right there with ya! DS1 was a natural, but DS2 (born on Monday) is actually having to be taught how to breastfeed. He's doing well, but he killed my boobs in the first 3 days, so now every time I nurse I'm in agony. The new baby always wants to just suck on the tip of my nipple (ouchie!), so it takes me re-latching him on there properly many times every time we nurse. He seems to be getting better these last 2 days. I'm just hoping that my boobs get a moment to heal up a bit because (with him being huge--born 9lb. 5oz.) this child is ravenous!

Hope things start to go more smoothly for you (and me!) soon!

: I have been where you are! Caleb nursed like a pro (although he hated it) but Jake was just in such a hurry to get to the milk that I had to relatch him 10x or more each session and since he nursed like every hour it was hellish the first few weeks. hopefully your lil guy can learn to latch properly soon!

[flapjack]

[loraxc]

I'm having a tough time with pain too. DD had an abnormal palate and BFing NEVER became painless, so this brings back a lot of bad memories. I saw an LC who says everything looks good, but I still feel like he is clamping down and sucking too choppily, maybe?

[day-by-day]

I'm often amazed how many of us are out here, with difficult breastfeeding experiences. Somehow it always seems like it's such an easy thing for most people. But I am constantly finding others who have also had a tough time.

I guess it's not talked about much before birth because of not wanting to scare women away from trying? Thankfully, my mother did not have an easy time of breastfeeding, and I'm a fairly stubborn person. So when this happened for the first time, I had a lot of support and the will to stick it out. Now I know that it WILL get better eventually.

At the moment, I am in much less pain because I have been mainly pumping and finger feeding. Somehow, she just can't get herself latched on anymore, and she doesn't like the nipple shield. I'm kinda surprised by the dislike of the shield. I've never experienced that with any of my other kids. But I'm taking advantage of this time to let my nipples heal, and I'll keep trying with and without the shield to get her to nurse "from tap".

[GreenRose]

why is something so good for babe, and so important, so hard for so many women!!
i was really discouraged, and getting very sore after a few days.. met with a lactation consultant and apparently baby z has a "high palate" .. so even though she knows what to do, and I'm doing all the right positioning and latch stuff, it's gonna hurt until she grows a bit bigger. frustrating!
i'm mixing it up with a nipple shield, and pumping for her day time feedings.. but i really miss the plain old babe on breast nursing, and she's so much happier on the breast than with the bottle.

[nausicaamom]

s to everyone - it really does suck. I hope things get better for everyone soon.

I'm still sore, but that has more to do with the fact that Alex cluster feeds for an hour every three to four hours instead of a normal feed every two to three that the books say he's supposed to nurse. I get those great stretches of sleep but everything is tender for a good while after each session. Still, it beats the heck out of shields/pumping/suplementing.

[Writerbird]

For me, breastfeeding does not suck.

Cluster feeding SUCKS. Oh my god, does it suck. I haven't been able to get online in days because by the time I've showered, peed, etc... my little wolverine suddenly decides it's time for a four hour marathon.

I keep telling myself this is GREAT, it's wonderful for my supply and yadda yadda yadda but come on, four hours?! This can't be right.

Then he sleeps for four hours and I can't even enjoy it because I know he'll clusterfeed again afterwards, only this time at three in the morning. If he wasn't so cute when he coos and if he didn't have my husband's chin and great big eyes, I'd trade him for another beagle.

[mamatomax]

Originally Posted by CalebsMama05

: I have been where you are! Caleb nursed like a pro (although he hated it) but Jake was just in such a hurry to get to the milk that I had to relatch him 10x or more each session and since he nursed like every hour it was hellish the first few weeks. hopefully your lil guy can learn to latch properly soon!

Looks like my little dude has got it down now! I am only relatching once or twice a nursing session now, and that's perfectly normal to have to do. I am so happy because the boobies are not killing me anymore! I remember it being rough for a week w/ DS1, too. Now I feel so much better about all of this

[CalebsMama05]

Originally Posted by mamatomax

Looks like my little dude has got it down now! I am only relatching once or twice a nursing session now, and that's perfectly normal to have to do. I am so happy because the boobies are not killing me anymore! I remember it being rough for a week w/ DS1, too. Now I feel so much better about all of this

that's wonderful

[eilonwy]

Having gigantic boobs and reltively small babies, I've had to learn all kinds of latching tricks. First off, only my "later" babies latched without boatloads of work. Secondly, I had to not only hold my boob but kind of squash my nipple for the other two-- even with the nipple shields both used. Bean would *only* nurse in the football hold for a few months, and Bella's tongue tie had to be clipped before nursing was anything but excuciating.

I was lucky in that during my first pregnancy, my sister advised me to use lansinoh on my nipples for pain; By the time Bean arrived, they were very supple and the pain on that end was minimal.

I'll also say this-- while I know that the first bit of nursing can be a PITA, I'm learning that it's got nothing on artificial feeding. Bear is my fourth child but the first to take a) a bottle (Bean got a syringe or a cup, Bella a fingerfeeder) and b) artificial breastmilk, and the entire process is making me absolutely insane. I'm really looking forward to finishing up my antibiotics and nursing him again, because artificial milk is a *serious* PITA. Never doubt it for a moment; Not only are you doing the right thing by perservering in your breastfeeding efforts, you're saving yourself loads of trouble and work in the long run.

[kJad29]

Originally Posted by willemsmamma

not in your ddc but just wanted to say that it sounds like her masseter muscles are all locked up. A good chiropractor who does soft touch work or a cranial sacral therapist who has experience with infants should be able to really help.

I'm not in your DDC, but am an IBCLC intern. I agree with getting CST to see if the baby is simply having issues with the nerves in her/his little head. I would also suggest that you go to an IBCLC and see if she can detect a tight frenulum. It's more common than you know. If she has a tight frenulum simply getting an ENT to diagnose and clip it is all that is needed to get your baby back to breast. Seriously cracked and bleeding nipples are usually a sign that the baby may be a tongue tied. That's all I have to say. All the best....

[day-by-day]

GreenRose

... i really miss the plain old babe on breast nursing...

I so hear you! I'm glad my little girl is well fed with my milk. But I'd so like her to get it straight from my breast.

Writer bird -

If he wasn't so cute when he coos and if he didn't have my husband's chin and great big eyes, I'd trade him for another beagle.

This made me laugh! I know exactly what you mean. I call my girlie, my "little piranha". But she is so very sweet and cute and lovable. I find myself feeling unreasonably annoyed toward other people. I think that it's a compensation for feeling so frustrated about the nursing. It's all her fault, but who can be angry with such a cute little one. So I feel annoyed with my husband, older kids, etc. instead.

And I get frustrated with myself. I know in my head that I am doing what I can. But I keep wondering, "what if I were more patient or less stressed or what if I subconsciously pull back from her fearing the pain and make it harder for her to latch on." Sigh!

eilonwy

Not only are you doing the right thing by perservering in your breastfeeding efforts, you're saving yourself loads of trouble and work in the long run.

Thanks for this reminder. I do believe this, but it's easy to forget.

[day-by-day]

kJad29 - If my baby had a tight frenulum, would she be able to stick her tongue out at all? She can get her tongue out quite far when she is not nursing. But she humps it up, pushing my nipple out whenever it's time to latch.

I assumed that she couldn't be tongue-tied because of how far out she can stick her tongue at times. And also, all my children did this and none of the others have been tongue tied either. But I could be wrong.

[day-by-day]

Originally Posted by mamatomax

Looks like my little dude has got it down now! I am only relatching once or twice a nursing session now, and that's perfectly normal to have to do. I am so happy because the boobies are not killing me anymore! I remember it being rough for a week w/ DS1, too. Now I feel so much better about all of this

Yay! I'm so glad for you. Keep up the good work. Hopefully the rest of us will be joining you with happy posts soon.