Hi Marie!
A fellow 4 c-section mommy here jumping on in. I think I can relate somewhat to the want for a "normal" birth. When my best friend had her wonderful daughter with a midwife, I was amazed at how peaceful it was. The clinical feeling wasn't there but the amazing moment of birth was there with the baby on her mommy's tummy nursing within seconds. A huge change from how my births were!
This being said though, I remember how sore my body was in the weeks leading up to the birth of my 4th
My body was completely rejecting stretching the scar tissue and the lower part of my uterus was thinning rapidly.
I know you want the unassisted birth experience but please remember the result is what we treasure, the experience of uassisted would be intense and wonderful if all went well but after much reading in my last trimester (I was on bed rest to help out my uterus) I am convinced that trying for a vbac after so much surgery and scarring would be too much of a risk. The chances of something going very wrong are so there
A complete rupture would not necessarily give you the 5 minutes to get to the hospital let alone getting prepped for emergency surgery and getting your precious baby where he or she belongs, safely in your arms.
Quote:
| I think a normal birth is as much a birthright as breastmilk...and as hard as I tried I CANNOT justify surgery |
Your darling baby has a right to be born safely and I'm sure you will find that while a 5th c-section has significant risks, birthing him or her at home with no medical help has much more risks than I think could ever be accepted.
If you are 100% committed to a vbac, could you not do that in a hospital with your OB? When I originally asked my OB about a vbac after 3, he said that he wasn't comfortable doing that but if I felt that I really wanted to do that, we could go to a bigger center (Vancouver Women's hospital in BC) where there were more OB's with more experience in that. That way if you needed to have an emergency section, you would be in the hospital already with the help you would need.
My thoughts are with you and your little one while you explore your options.
You have no idea...but I feel good now, like I did before. Someone said this AM in th BFing forum somewhere that if you don't feel right about the choice you made it's probably wrong. Smacked myself in the head...well, not really, but I imagined I did. 
Im getting all excited for you 
But I'd rather the next time be significantly past 34 weeks! 
No matter what you chose I'd support your decision, but I'm so happy that you settled on a decision that makes YOU feel confident.
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