Baby Blues?

[Nature]

Anyone else feeling kinda down? Or just me?

[GreenRose]

I had a couple of weepy days there.. get as much rest and good food as you can.. it really helped me get over that hormone slump. Day 12 now and I seem to be over it.

[Writerbird]

I had what I can only describe as a psychotic break three days PP - I had a nightmare, the "nested" kind where you wake up... but you're actually still dreaming. I dreamed that the man and the baby in my bed were strangers. When I actually woke for real, the disorientation only got worse. The little snoring/breathing noises were totally alien sounding, and I felt like I didn't belong in my room. I curled up in the spare room on the floor crying, which is where and how my poor husband found me. He almost called the midwife, I think, but I managed to stutter out that I was being overwhelmed by the last bits of labor hormones, waves of nursing hormones, general adrenaline exhaustion, and sleep deprivation, and that really I would be fine in a little while. I was, too, after a good cry and three straight hours of sleep Hasn't recurred.

It was weird. It's one thing to read about being overwhelmed by a chemical cocktail from hell, and quite another to experience it.

I'll be glad when he can smile at me. That will be a big boost - it's hard to work so hard and not get much feedback.

[Nature]

Today was a pretty low day for me. I realized I was walking around with a frown on my face most of the day. My 4 yo and 2 yo have been ignoring me no matter what I say, and thats causing some stress and feelings of "oh great, I've screwed up my kids by having another baby." And tonight I just lost it, crying by myself all curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor. (why the kitchen? it was the only place no one else was.. and I wanted to be alone.)

Odin is the best behaved baby. Terribly polite. Hardly cries at all so far. Sleeps well at night, wakes to nurse.. but I can do that in my sleep. The nipple pain is starting to get better. So I feel doubly guilty that I'm feeling blue, cause gosh.. he's such an easy baby compared to my others! I guess its the *other* stuff this time that is overwhelming me. A new house. The kids adjusting to the new house. Taking care of three other kids, while trying to dig out of boxes in the new house, AND take care of a new baby. While having a cold.

Well... I imagine it would be overwhelming no matter how you cut it.

[eilonwy]

i'm pretty down, too. i keep hoping it will pass...

[lilyblossom]

Nature - that is enough to drive anyone out of their mind. Try to take things slow and be patient and loving with yourself as well. And remember, if you are feeling overwhelmed, ask for help. I'm sure your MW would be happy to lend a hand or suggest someone who can if you don't know anyone in the area yet.

Hang in there mama, things will get better *hugs*.

[Jezzy]

I had a couple of down days too. I was doubting myself mainly on those days . I am feeling better now. The only thing that is bothering me and my new mommy hormones is my MIL I get so at her just by hearing her voice. I could scream when she comes to snatch my baby away from me : Why do I feel like this? Maybe it is because my family is so far away.

Hope that your baby blues go away soon!!

[kathywiehl]

Hugs to all of you, I hope you feel better very very soon.

[flapjack]

Yep, me too. Again, it's not just River, it's everything. The whole darned lot.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by Jezzy

I could scream when she comes to snatch my baby away from me : Why do I feel like this? Maybe it is because my family is so far away.

This is instinct-- you feel this way because you're hard-wired to protect your baby from all threats, real or perceived. It's not only normal, it's *healthy* and desireable. It's also totally justified; You're a new mamma, and that's your baby, not hers.

[nolonger]

It's not hormones at four weeks postpartum, but it is PTSD about the children I lost, worrying about losing this one or failing him or betraying him in some way, and the reality of just how hostile this world is to babies.

Rynna, I wanted to comment on one of your posts about the strangers coming up to ask if you are okay: the same thing happens to me constantly! Apparently I have the demeanor of a homeless person and it scares the crap out of me. I'm wearing shoes (which hurt and which I hate) for the first time in two years and after confronting the last well-meaning person who wanted to give me a bottle of formula and a ride to the shelter, I'm planning on ditching the well made LL Bean daypack and buying a cheap powder blue camaflogue diaper bag emblazoned with sports logos and racecars and "Daddy's Little prince loves WalMart" type sayings.

I hate living in a world where I have to let my baby cry while I fidget with my appearance because it is unthinkable to leave the house without brushing my hair! G-d forbid I should be seen without LIPSTICK!

I'm doing a bit better today after handing down my leftover birthing supplies to a homebirthing mama in SoHum. I think I may have just overdone it yesterday. Just because I was ready to go back to work part time at 2 weks pp doesn't mean I'm ready to clean up after my adult children or do my taxes or take care of myself when I just had a baby a month ago.

[Gunter]

nature- i am sorry that you are feeling down. it's quite a bit to adjust to, everything that you are experiencing right now. i just did my post partum doula training and we talk a lot about the spectrum of pp moods. the best book i read about it was "overcoming pp depression and anxiety" by linda sebastian. she covers everything along hte spectrum of what women experience post partum not just the full blown depression side of things. it's concise and well-written. even having a background and bachelor's in social work, there were things i learned.

writerbird- what an experience. i am really glad that you are okay now. well, how are you doing now? i hope that you are well and that your partner can understand what it was that you were going through so he can be supportive.

if you want to talk it over with someone, the sooner the better! you deserve to be able to process it all asap! and, the more support you have in child care, food prep, cleaning up the house, having your dog walked, or anything like that...the less likely you are to have more serious depression stuff. i remember feeling weepy with ezra for a few days, at least and i had really great support. it's such a big adjustment and so huge to give birth!!!...a little bit of "feeling down" would seem normal. but, you still deserve help getting through it!

[Gunter]

just wanted to add this for all of you.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

Rynna, I wanted to comment on one of your posts about the strangers coming up to ask if you are okay: the same thing happens to me constantly! Apparently I have the demeanor of a homeless person and it scares the crap out of me. I'm wearing shoes (which hurt and which I hate) for the first time in two years and after confronting the last well-meaning person who wanted to give me a bottle of formula and a ride to the shelter, I'm planning on ditching the well made LL Bean daypack and buying a cheap powder blue camaflogue diaper bag emblazoned with sports logos and racecars and "Daddy's Little prince loves WalMart" type sayings.

Yeesh. I know people are coming up to me because I'm kind of pallid, and have black circles under my eyes, and I move like molasses in January thanks to the pain I'm in. I look 'foggy.' Hell, I *feel* foggy... but I don't have the energy to talk to everyone who wants to 'help.'

I'm doing a bit better today after handing down my leftover birthing supplies to a homebirthing mama in SoHum. I think I may have just overdone it yesterday. Just because I was ready to go back to work part time at 2 weks pp doesn't mean I'm ready to clean up after my adult children or do my taxes or take care of myself when I just had a baby a month ago.

I'm sure as heck not ready... but I do it anyway. : I'm more depressed that things aren't getting done than anything else. How's that for type-A control freak? Even now, I can't let go of the idea that I ought to be accomplishing a hell of a lot more than I am.

[LoveChild421]

I love you mamas- thank you for this thread. I'm sure we'll all feel better with time...but I feel like I'm in withdrawal...I felt so even and grounded while pregnant...now I'm getting annoyed, bitchy, and melancholy for no reason at all. Dp and I got in a fight for the first time in a year last night because he was singing to himself while I was trying to talk on the phone and distracting and annoying me. He couldn't understand why I was getting to snippy about it : gee...I'm not even a week post-partum, I'm in pain in too many areas of my body to list, and I'm having a hard time being pleasant! Thankfully today he was much nicer and seemed to grasp the concept that I'm allowed to be a bit bitchy without being called on it at a time like this.

Grant is such an easy baby and it really isn't the demands of having 2 small kids at all...its just the hormone withdrawal...

[Jezzy]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

This is instinct-- you feel this way because you're hard-wired to protect your baby from all threats, real or perceived. It's not only normal, it's *healthy* and desireable. It's also totally justified; You're a new mamma, and that's your baby, not hers.

Thanks you are right! That made me cry. Pretty emotional today:

[Mommy2Austin]

Ok it officially hit me today....day 3....just like the midwife predicted. *sigh*

DH has been so sweet to me and soooo much more helpful and supportive this time around that I feel terrible for feeling terrible.

The dear man chopped up my placenta for me for my smoothies.....that's love in my book. (Speaking of said smoothie I need to try one to see if it helps my mood.)

I'm a nervous wreck because DH starts his new job on friday and I don't feel at all ready to take care of 2 kids (I can hardly pick DS1 up and everytime I do I end up hurting the rest of the day....) on my own. Poor Austin wants nothing to do with me at the moment....although he seems to like his new baby brother which is good. I just feel like I've done wrong by him by bringing Steven into the world....*sniff* Did I fail my son by having another? I know the answer, but it doesn't help.

I just want this stop-the-world-I-wanna-get-off feeling to go away so I can be a happy mommy again....with a clean house.