Leaving a breastfed baby for a weekend - Page 6

[Jacksmum8]

Originally Posted by thismama

No, IMO fathers and other caregivers simply cannot replace mama, the food source, when a baby is young. For short periods yes, but not for days at a time. It would be real pretty and tidy if it worked like that, with the way we choose to structure our families, but it's not reality IMO.

I disagree.

[thismama]

Originally Posted by Jacksmum8

I disagree.

Well good for you, and have at it. But when mama is nursing a young baby, it makes no sense to me to suggest she can just take off for two days and dad and gramma will fill in just fine. YMMV.

[Jacksmum8]

Originally Posted by thismama

Well good for you, and have at it. But when mama is nursing a young baby, it makes no sense to me to suggest she can just take off for two days and dad and gramma will fill in just fine. YMMV.

I think that's exactly right. You said "take off" for a few days. I think it's more about why this mama wants time away rather than the time away itself. If she needed to be hospitalized I don't think this thread would've gotten so heated. Again, she asked about sustaining breastfeeding during an absence which I think is possible, if fact I know it is because I know many people who have done it without major problems. Would I do it? No. Can I refrain from judgement, absolutely.

[JamieBrewHa]

I didn't make it through all the posts.... but wow. :

Here's my 2 cents.

I left my DS who was 100% breastfeed at 4.5 months. It was not for a life-threatening emergency or anything of that effect. One of my best friends was graduating from law school and I wanted to be there for her. Although I'd flown many places with DS before that point, this just wasn't a trip that I thought I could handle with him. It was 48 hours.

I had plenty of frozen milk and pumped religiously while I was gone. He wasn't thrilled with taking a bottle (never has been) the first few feedings, but his daddy loved him and cared for him and he did fine and was relatively happy the time I was gone. He was very happy to see his momma when I got home... and went back to nursing fine. I also brought a stash of milk home with me.

I honestly never even considered that I was not AP for taking this trip, but obviously there are plenty of mamas here who think that.

As for the breastfeeding relationship - I would *NOT* have taken this trip if the option was to give formula. But it is very possible to continue your breastfeeding relationship during a short absence. Does your DS take a bottle? How often? There's always the option of syringe or cup feeding as well.

I will be leaving my now almost 14 month old DS who is still nursing for the 2nd time in his life for 48 hours next month. I really struggled with the decision this time as I did the first time, but I feel DS's needs will be met well by DH. Actually, this time the decision was harder than the first because I feel my nursing relationship is MORE in jeopardy this time than the first since at 5 months DS was much less at risk for weaning. But anyways - sorry that is OT. And I know many moms here won't approve, but I wanted to share my experience with the OP.

[Jacksmum8]

Originally Posted by JamieBrewHa

I didn't make it through all the posts.... but wow. :

Here's my 2 cents.

I left my DS who was 100% breastfeed at 4.5 months. It was not for a life-threatening emergency or anything of that effect. One of my best friends was graduating from law school and I wanted to be there for her. Although I'd flown many places with DS before that point, this just wasn't a trip that I thought I could handle with him. It was 48 hours.

I had plenty of frozen milk and pumped religiously while I was gone. He wasn't thrilled with taking a bottle (never has been) the first few feedings, but his daddy loved him and cared for him and he did fine and was relatively happy the time I was gone. He was very happy to see his momma when I got home... and went back to nursing fine. I also brought a stash of milk home with me.

I honestly never even considered that I was not AP for taking this trip, but obviously there are plenty of mamas here who think that.

As for the breastfeeding relationship - I would *NOT* have taken this trip if the option was to give formula. But it is very possible to continue your breastfeeding relationship during a short absence. Does your DS take a bottle? How often? There's always the option of syringe or cup feeding as well.

I will be leaving my now almost 14 month old DS who is still nursing for the 2nd time in his life for 48 hours next month. I really struggled with the decision this time as I did the first time, but I feel DS's needs will be met well by DH. Actually, this time the decision was harder than the first because I feel my nursing relationship is MORE in jeopardy this time than the first since at 5 months DS was much less at risk for weaning. But anyways - sorry that is OT. And I know many moms here won't approve, but I wanted to share my experience with the OP.

I was really worried when I left DS the first time right before his third birthday. I figured he would be weaned when I got home. I left on Monday morning before he woke up and came back Wednesday morning. I was so stressed during the entire trip. He fared much better that I. When he and his dad picked me up at the airport he was much more interested in the baggage carousel than me being home When we got back to the house his first mission was to have a nurse and he went right back into his routine, although he asked to go back to the airport for a few weeks after that.

[Jacksmum8]

woops, double post

[JamieBrewHa]

Originally Posted by Jacksmum8

I was really worried when I left DS the first time right before his third birthday. I figured he would be weaned when I got home. I left on Monday morning before he woke up and came back Wednesday morning. I was so stressed during the entire trip. He fared much better that I. When he and his dad picked me up at the airport he was much more interested in the baggage carousel than me being home When we got back to the house his first mission was to have a nurse and he went right back into his routine, although he asked to go back to the airport for a few weeks after that.

Thanks, that is encouraging!

[thismama]

I didn't nurse my DD for 3 days when she was 3.5 or so. Our nursing relationship resumed fine after that. But 6 months to 3 years old are completely different situations IMO. I don't think going away for 2 days means the end of a nursing relationship with a 6 month old, but I do think that is a risk, and I also think it is unfair to a young baby who is breastfed and (usually) cared for by a nursing mother to suddenly have that mother gone for two days and two nights. I think barring a serious need to be away, doing so is not an ethical or kind choice to make when you have a young baby. I think it is a disruption of the attachment relationship, and also of the baby's access to its food source.

And, I think it is okay to say that.

[KirstenMary]

Originally Posted by alegna

:

I think that at this age a mama's want to be away can be addressed in smaller bites in such a way that the baby's *needs* are still respected.

-Angela