meeting with the montessori principal on thursday

[mamamelia]

dh and i will be metting with the montessori principal on thursday for the first time. i am looking at this school for dd and today when i called, i asked for an observation. however the person i spoke to was pleased with my level of montessori knowledge and said that it would be best to speak to the principal of the school first and then arrange an OB.

ok, i am nervous. this school sounds great and i would love for dd to start as soon as possible. however, i have a few problems.....
*dd has SN. she has sensory processing disorder and while some days you cannot even tell that she has anything to begin with, on other days it is very evident that she different. she is very, very bright though and i hope this shines through. i am worried that once they hear SN, they will throw our application out of the window. she does extremely well academically (she is way ahead of peers in that department - a 3yo at 5-6 year old level) but she has trouble focusing and following "verbal only" instructions (as in she needs to see what they are saying, not just hear it). she also has trouble on the social side (can't leave anyone alone when they are doing something but i am sure she can learn to do this in the long run). how can i show the principal that the pro's of dd being in montessori far outweight the cons (i.e she may be a little disruptive and it's not as simple as just disciplining her).
*dd has never gone to any preschool of any kind. she has been at home with me since birth and i know some montessori places frown on that.
*dh practically knows nothing about montessori and this school is a little prestigious and he rolls his eyes at anything prestigious - what can i tell him to do/say so that he doesn't make me look stupid??? i'm not about to do a 101 in montessori over the next 48 hours. he is actually highly intelligent himself, but clueless when it comes to things like this.

please, give me all the advice you've got on how to handle any sticky questions that may arise... i mean, we try to allow dd to have as much independence as possible but i am still an AP mum (she is still breastfed and co-sleeps) and i don't intend on changing that for anything or anyone. should information like this be disclosed? i have never actually met any montessori principal before so i have NO CLUE as to what is discussed in general.

[jyurina]

I am speaking as a Montessori educator here. IMO if they give you attitude about your daughters needs you should find another place because that is NOT what Montessori is about. In fact the philosophy is all about not only inclusion but the idea that we use a variety of materials that help the child learn in a muti sensory way. I have had successful studentsa in various classes I have been invloved in that were challenged by Aspergers, ODD, OCD, Sensory integration, etc. I have read of inclusive classrooms with special needs children that feel that this not only benefits the child with special needs but also those that learn compassion and understanding from learning with them. So good luck-I hope it goes well!

[mamamelia]

THANK YOU!!! that is extremely helpful!! wow - i wish you could teach dd - you sound great!!
out of all the teaching methods i came to the conclusion that the montessori way would be most appropriate for dd as she NEEDS to learn in steps and logical ones - i can't just skip a step and assume she knows what i'm talking about. she is very much a visual-spatial learner too. i was just wondering if it was basically too much to ask for if the directess had to spend much more one on one time with dd than the other kids to help keep her focused and on task. dd is brilliant, when you are sitting there beside her guiding her through things. we went through a maths book that was for age 7 last night and she got every answer correct *only* because i kept her focused and when she would drift off i would gently bring her back into it. from the outside this looks like she doesn't want to do maths and that's why she drifts off - quite the contrary - she *asks* me to do maths (has always loved numbers), she just cannot focus because of her SPD.
however, i can't homeschool. my health is getting worse, we hardly do anything all day (i just put the kids in the backyard and they run wild and play with dirt/water/sticks etc) and i feel i am really putting her at a disadvantage by being at home with me all day and me only getting to "teach" her one hour a night if were lucky. but on the otherhand i am also soo, soo worried about sending dd to any school as i am afraid that she may not get the treatment she deserves. i don't want a SN school. we don't even qualify for one here anyway. so montessori it is.

could you please give me some advice as to what questions i *should* ask to get a better idea of how dd will be treated. i don't want to be handed a pamphlet and walk out. with this school the parents also need to undergo an interview to make sure that they are on track with montessori and are the sort of family that will follow through at home. we are, and i think we will do well in that aspect.. but i need to know that THEY will do thier best to help dd.

[MattBronsil]

There are going to be 2 considerations the school will have to balance:
1) Is this going to be beneficial to your child?
2) How will the child's behavior effect the classroom setting for the rest of the children?

Montessori classrooms are very accomodating to children with special needs. At the same time, some teachers feel they can only handle a certain amount of special needs children before THEY feel over extended. The last thing you want for your child is a teacher that simply does not have the faith that they can handle a special needs child. So your best bet is to be honest with them. Tell them what issues are likely to come up, strategies you use to handle those issues, and how you feel a Montessori environment is best for your daughter.

I had one child last year who had autism. He was pretty high on the autism spectrum. It does not sound like your daughter has quite this serious of an issue. I think this student advanced in the classroom, but there was just a point where we had to decide if he was better served in my classroom or in a situation that specialized in Autism. In the end, he left the classroom. I believe that was for the best. I worked hard to change the environment and add ideas I kept reading about autism, but I was just not ready to handle that.

As far as your husband goes, I wrote a Montessori blog about the classroom environment. I invite you to take a look at it, then share it with him. It accompanies a video I found online and the combination of the blog and video may help him understand how Montessori works.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...ogID=358895232

Matt