I feel so alone...

[mrsdocmartin]

Nearly all of the women who were pg with me are FFing. I tried really hard to be a source of information and support, but all but one have switched to formula. The one still BFing will probably switch soon too. The worst part is, that they all say things like "I couldn't make enough", or "the baby was starving until I finally switched to formula, now she's sooo much happier". They act like I am a total freak for being totally anti-formula. At this point, I know it is too late to say much, but I just want a BFing friend.

[spmamma]

Originally Posted by mrsdocmartin

At this point, I know it is too late to say much, but I just want a BFing friend.

I'll be your BFing friend!

[simplehome]

Originally Posted by spmamma

I'll be your BFing friend!

I was going to say the same thing! Just keep doing what you're doing for your little one!

[mrsdocmartin]

Thanks mamas! I wouldn't trade our nursing for anything in the world. I'm just sad that so many mamas give up so easily.

[ricemom3]

I will also be your BF'ing friend. I totally understand. My husband has a co-worker who is just amazed that I am still Bf'ing DS who is only 7 mo. His wife quit when their DD was about 6wks, so she could go back to work.
I've also had similar reaction from ppl, since I am back to work. Can't beleive I would continue, when "FF is sooo much easier". (haha)

[Debstmomy]

Originally Posted by mrsdocmartin

. At this point, I know it is too late to say much, but I just want a BFing friend.

Have you gone to a Le Leche League meeting? You can connect with Moms with similar interests there.

[mrsdocmartin]

I went to one when I was pregnant, but unfortunately they are held when I am at work.

[rmzbm]

Me too, I'll be your BF'ing friend! Hang in there!

[turtlewomyn]

There isn't any LLL meetings in the evening in your area (well, I am assuming that you work during the day)? That is too bad! I have found a great source of comfort at my LLL meetings.

Perhaps you could contact the local leaders and see if there are any other moms who would like an evening meeting or another meeting time. Or perhaps start a support group for breastfeeding WOH moms? I am a WOHM and a breastfeeder, and I loved to talk with other WOH mom's about the challenges of working outside the home and breastfeeding (pumping enough, storing milk, getting daycare providers on board with the proper way to bottle feed a breastfed baby,etc.)

There has to be other bfing moms in your area, there just has to be!

[AnalogWife]

My good friends also FF and I constantly have to watch my tongue as to not offend them.....I feel that they don't know what they're missing, and I feel bad that they're missing out, and bad for me that we can't kinda gab about BFing and cosleeping, etc. There's a woman at work who is due in June, she's from France and I'm dying to know if she's going to BF, and if we're going to have to work out a pumping-room schedule, etc. I'm praying that we do because DS will be 13 months by then and I don't want to call more attention to myself being a BFing mom...much less a BFing mom at 13 months. I sense that they talk about me when I'm off pumping, mostly I don't care, but for some reason I feel like it will become a weird issue if this other woman chooses to FF....that I'll be some weirdo, y'know? Sorry for the ramble, I will also volunteer to be your BF friend. The only extended BFers I know are either friend-of-a-friend, or online.

[RaisingRevolution]

Stay strong and follow your instincts! My partner comes from a family that hasn't breast fed in three generations, and when I nurse at his family occasions his mother holds a blanket over me! I understand how it feels to not want to offend people, but how do I stick up for our choice to breastfeed with out offending his entire family? I am under constant scrutiny from all directions because of my choice to homebirth and cosleep. We are renting from his mom and she comes over at least once a week, and asks when our baby is going to sleep in her own room! She insisted on buying a bassinette for us, even when I told her we wouldn't need it, and used to ask when I was gonna use it! She finally stopped when I told her our baby was going to sleep with us til she was 15 : ) ... just know that you are not alone in your struggle to make good decisions for the health of your baby!

[These Magical Days]

I'm in the same boat, the lone nurser in a bunch of bottle feeders. Don't be sad about their choices, but be glad about yours, and stick with it!

p.s. You might inspire them to do things differently next time. My sister-in-law didn't nurse her first child at all, but has told me she's planning to nurse her next one, and I can't help but feel like I had a positive influence on her. I hope so anyway!

[kikidee]

I'm so sorry. It's so tough to be the lone breastfeeder/co-sleeper/etc. in a group. I haven't had any bad comments, but lots of interesting looks when it comes up at my mom's group that I am still nursing DD (or co-sleeping, etc.). I felt like a pioneer for awhile, and that is a lonely thing sometimes. But just keep doing what you do, and hopefully you can be a great example to these mamas of how amazing the breastfeeding relationship can be. Maybe next time around, they will think of you, and want to do BF instead of FF.

[YummyYarnAddict]

I see we're in the same state, I'll be your crunchy BF'ing friend! s I breastfed my dd until she weaned when she was 4yo and I'm nursing my 19mo (at this minute too!). While most of my friends did/do breastfeed, they do think I'm a bit of an extremist for ... well, the whole "crunchy" ... "AP" ... "thing"... and going past a year and all and, well, I carry my kids too, and co-sleep, cloth diaper, and ... well, now that I think about it, you might not want to be my friend after all. Sniff...

[sunnymw]

I'll be your BF friend. I only know of two other women in my TOWN that have BF'd, and one of them I just found out about recently (when she whipped out her boob in the front pew of church... WTG!!! I totally did NOT have the balls for that!!!). It's generally considered an alien thing to do... along with all that other AP stuff... so I'm right there with ya

[~Heyokha~]

It is sad isn't it? MDC can be a great place for community though I know, its not quite the same. . . .

[MommytoTwo]

You should find a LLL meeting ... thats why I go! Its nice to be around some like-minded mamas.

[mommy2anthony]

i feel alone when it comes to bfing too. i know that women in my town bf but they are all at least 10 years older then me and are shocked when they find out im bfing. all the moms i know my age are ff and most think that bfing "is weird" and my son is going to be too attached (hes 7 months old) but i just lauph at those comments. it does get lonely though, and it feels sortof akward to bf around my friends, i go in the other room.

[mommy2anthony]

i need to add that my boyfriend is a huge bfing advocate even though his whole family ff. he doesn't understand why anyone would "pay money for something not as good". so not everyone my age is anti-bf and im lucky for that

[Hippie Mama in MI]

Just wanted to add my own hugs, and say that you might want to check & see whether your hospital has a BFF Support Group. Mine did, and it was such a great relief to hang out with other BF mommies once in a while...