I've been thinking a lot about the nakedness thing lately since we're still really open door and ds is almost 10. I'm starting to feel a little weird about being naked around them, but I've always wanted to eliminate the curiosity and shame that I felt as a child. i want my kids to see the body as normal. lately i've wondered if i've crossed the line the other way. i know our bodies are also sacred so i don't want to over normalize, y/k? dh and i both felt uncomfortable when 9yo ds was showering with 5yo dd, so we told them boys and girls need to shower separately, but i still let them bathe together. our kids all share a room, but there is no clothing in their bedroom, so changing isn't an issue there. Maybe in a couple of years we'll move the boys downstairs, but we nor they are ready to be that far apart at night, and there is no reasonable fire escape down there. this has always been a perplexing issue for me. I think it may have been one of the only major thing about my upbringing that disturbs me. We never talked about our bodies, and especially not anything sexual. I learned about it all from my friends and siblings and a few very inappropriate maturation classes in school.
dh and I recently found a few "naughty" drawings done by our boys. You know the ones that have body parts and fluids and all. They were just trying to be gross and funny. We had a talk with them about it, and so far, no more boobs or genitals in the drawings. I did think it was a little funny that whenever there were breasts, they were always quite saggy. Heh heh, at least they don't have a warped idea of what a woman's body should look like.
And my 5yo daughter is always wanting to help me pump, or position me when I am nursing, like I need help. I know she is just trying to figure out how it all works and wants to do whatever she can to help with the baby so I try not to make a big deal about it.
So, I think I need this discussion to help me process and get some ideas, etc. I did finally pray about it recently. Amazing how much I'm willing to fret about something before it actually occurs to me to pray about it. I'm at a point in my life, though, where my responsibilities are so heavy that I can't survive ONE DAY on my own. I kept worrying about having more kids, etc. Feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed in myself. I've finally just realized that if I let God help me, I CAN be a good mom to 5 and even more kids if that is right. Its kind of crazy that I've been trying to do it on my own for all of these years so I'm glad I'm learning it. It is still pretty hard for me to feel so dependent on Him for such small things, but I'm learning to give up that feeling of control.
Okay, the baby has settled down now so I'm back to bed.