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LDS/Mormon Support Only Thread - Page 11

post #201 of 628
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by seren View Post
THe naked thing is tough for me. Dh took a bath today and the door was open. Dd1 is 6 1/2. I dont' think she even noticed. My parents and younger sibs is completely different though. My bro and sis were still bathing together at 8 and 10 until my other sister and I said something about it. My sis will be 15 next month and I think she still goes in the bathroom when my dad is using it. I'm not sure about him bathing, showering though. My mom still walks around the house completely naked and my brother was 13 this week.

I think it's a bit much, but I don't know where you draw the line.
I know for some families the nakedness is not a big deal. I know hippie families who are very open about that kind of thing and it doesn't come across as creepy. But I know the Gospel teaches respect for the concept of modesty. So I was thinking, at the very least, by the time they reach bptism age. Obviously if I'm still nursing my son, there's going to be all kind of nakedness, and if I'm nursing when my son is older I don't want to show him shame about it because I want all my chidren to grow up thinking breastfeeding is very normal and beautiful.

I don't imagine there's actually a church policy on the subject. It's probably decided the moment one person feels uncomfortable.
post #202 of 628
Sorry to interrupt the discussion, but I need help and prayers and good thoughts and everything else. My husband asked me to go spend a few days with my parents so he could have time to think about whether our marriage is worth trying to save. I am so scared. I love him so much and don't want to have him leave me. I don't know what to do. We've been having issues lately, but things have finally come to blow. Please, pray for my family. I feeling like I'm dying...
I'm posting this on both LDS thread hoping for as much support as possible. This has to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
post #203 of 628
Kelly, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
post #204 of 628
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Sorry to interrupt the discussion, but I need help and prayers and good thoughts and everything else. My husband asked me to go spend a few days with my parents so he could have time to think about whether our marriage is worth trying to save. I am so scared. I love him so much and don't want to have him leave me. I don't know what to do. We've been having issues lately, but things have finally come to blow. Please, pray for my family. I feeling like I'm dying...
I'm posting this on both LDS thread hoping for as much support as possible. This has to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
Have you called your Bishop? He is experienced with crises such as this.
post #205 of 628
You guys will be in my prayers.
post #206 of 628
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Sorry to interrupt the discussion, but I need help and prayers and good thoughts and everything else. My husband asked me to go spend a few days with my parents so he could have time to think about whether our marriage is worth trying to save. I am so scared. I love him so much and don't want to have him leave me. I don't know what to do. We've been having issues lately, but things have finally come to blow. Please, pray for my family. I feeling like I'm dying...
I'm posting this on both LDS thread hoping for as much support as possible. This has to be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
I hope and pray that everything will be ok!
post #207 of 628
Thanks for the prayers. Dh didn't go to church today, for like the 5th week in a row. I however did go, and made an appointment with the bishop for tuesday evening. Hopefully dh will show up (he said he'll think about it when I called him) and hopefully it will go well.
post #208 of 628
Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
I know for some families the nakedness is not a big deal. I know hippie families who are very open about that kind of thing and it doesn't come across as creepy. But I know the Gospel teaches respect for the concept of modesty. So I was thinking, at the very least, by the time they reach bptism age.
I had all kinds of ideas, but dd1 is 9 1/2 and is pretty much clueless/very comfortable about family nakedness around the house. It's very interesting, because modesty and covering our bodies is part of our regular discussion, but we're a very open-door family--mostly b/c of dh's attitudes, tbh. My family wasn't exactly like that. We both grab a robe or something more often when going to help a little one in the night.

Dd2 is almost 8 and she is actually more "shy" about her body. But neither of them "get it" that ds (4) will need his own room at some point (8?).

We've had to point out more than once to dd1 that she needs to put clothes on to go and talk to her grandad when we're at their house.
post #209 of 628
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Thanks for the prayers. Dh didn't go to church today, for like the 5th week in a row. I however did go, and made an appointment with the bishop for tuesday evening. Hopefully dh will show up (he said he'll think about it when I called him) and hopefully it will go well.
hang in there, Kelly.
post #210 of 628
Thread Starter 
We had fun celebrating the Irish part of our heritage on St Patrick's, and this Sunday we hope to celebrae my Ukrainian side with some traditional Ukrainian dishes. I would love to learn how to do Ukrainian Easter eggs. The Nova natural toy catalog actually sells a kit.

I hope to do as much as possible to also show my son that Easter represents something special about Jesus, but I'm not sure how much he'll get yet.

Not to belittle anyone else's religion, but I was just thinking today how glad I am that the Church doesn't mind the pagan parts of our holidays. We can dress up for Halloween and hunt for Easter eggs and it doesn't have to detract from the Christian meanings.

One of the playgroup ladies said that the Ensign did an article about the Pagan origins of Easter a few years ago - I wonder if I can find it and post a link....
post #211 of 628
Thread Starter 
Ah - this was done in 1984 but it certainly is fascinating.
post #212 of 628
Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
Ah - this was done in 1984 but it certainly is fascinating.

That is interesting. It's not the article I read, but I can't seem to dig it up. However, I know I'm not hallucinating, so I will keep looking
post #213 of 628
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sebarnes View Post
However, I know I'm not hallucinating, so I will keep looking
You're absolutely sure about that part?
post #214 of 628
Thread Starter 
There is a new book out called "My Dear Sisters: Inspiration for Women from Gordon B Hinckley" that looks wonderful. I'm sure it is exactly what we all need to keep us buoyed up and inspired!
post #215 of 628
I've been thinking a lot about the nakedness thing lately since we're still really open door and ds is almost 10. I'm starting to feel a little weird about being naked around them, but I've always wanted to eliminate the curiosity and shame that I felt as a child. i want my kids to see the body as normal. lately i've wondered if i've crossed the line the other way. i know our bodies are also sacred so i don't want to over normalize, y/k? dh and i both felt uncomfortable when 9yo ds was showering with 5yo dd, so we told them boys and girls need to shower separately, but i still let them bathe together. our kids all share a room, but there is no clothing in their bedroom, so changing isn't an issue there. Maybe in a couple of years we'll move the boys downstairs, but we nor they are ready to be that far apart at night, and there is no reasonable fire escape down there. this has always been a perplexing issue for me. I think it may have been one of the only major thing about my upbringing that disturbs me. We never talked about our bodies, and especially not anything sexual. I learned about it all from my friends and siblings and a few very inappropriate maturation classes in school.
dh and I recently found a few "naughty" drawings done by our boys. You know the ones that have body parts and fluids and all. They were just trying to be gross and funny. We had a talk with them about it, and so far, no more boobs or genitals in the drawings. I did think it was a little funny that whenever there were breasts, they were always quite saggy. Heh heh, at least they don't have a warped idea of what a woman's body should look like.
And my 5yo daughter is always wanting to help me pump, or position me when I am nursing, like I need help. I know she is just trying to figure out how it all works and wants to do whatever she can to help with the baby so I try not to make a big deal about it.
So, I think I need this discussion to help me process and get some ideas, etc. I did finally pray about it recently. Amazing how much I'm willing to fret about something before it actually occurs to me to pray about it. I'm at a point in my life, though, where my responsibilities are so heavy that I can't survive ONE DAY on my own. I kept worrying about having more kids, etc. Feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed in myself. I've finally just realized that if I let God help me, I CAN be a good mom to 5 and even more kids if that is right. Its kind of crazy that I've been trying to do it on my own for all of these years so I'm glad I'm learning it. It is still pretty hard for me to feel so dependent on Him for such small things, but I'm learning to give up that feeling of control.
Okay, the baby has settled down now so I'm back to bed.
post #216 of 628
Thread Starter 
There's nothing wrong with fretting before praying. We are supposed to work things out before we pray, so it does make sense.

DH says he thinks the right time to be less open-door about nakedness is whenever our children start feeling differently about it. I suppose that is very AP to follow our children's cues. I too grew up in a house where the body was shameful and sex was not discussed and I'd prefer not to go that route, but at the same time I want to instill a sense of modesty in my children.

I suppose this is one of those topics where it is most critical to follow the Spirit, because I'm not aware that there's really a right or wrong answer.
post #217 of 628
First, I'd just like to thank you all for your prayers. We did meet with the bishop, which did make things seem better for a day or two, but the weekend was rough, so dd and I are camping out at my parents house for a few more days. Dh is diligently working on getting us a marital counseling appointment, which is a good sign. And, We've been doing Couple's scripture study and prayer over the phone on the nights I've been away.
The really ironic part about this whole thing is that it's strengthed my testimony. That sounds so crazy, but never in my life have I prayed so hard or often. And, I have really felt comforted. I am not so scared about this whole ordeal any more. I know, whatever the outcome, I'll survive. I thought something like this would shake my faith, and it has been quite the opposite.
post #218 of 628
Thread Starter 
I'm so glad you've been able to feel Heavenly Father's love for you throughout this ordeal!
post #219 of 628
Thread Starter 
Linguistmama gave birth yesterday to a healthy baby girl! The baby came so quickly that it ended up being an unassisted homebirth. Everyone is happy and peaceful today!
post #220 of 628
Thread Starter 

Food for Thought for Today

"Marriage is meant to be and must be a loving, binding, harmonious
relationship between a man and a woman. When a husband and a wife
understand that the family is ordained of God and that marriage can be
filled with promises and blessings extending into the eternities,
separation and divorce would seldom be a consideration in the
Latter-day Saint home. Couples would realize that the sacred
ordinances and covenants made in the house of the Lord provide the means
whereby they can return to the presence of God."
Topic: marriage

(W. Douglas Shumway, "Marriage and Family: Our Sacred Responsibility," Ensign, May 2004, 95)
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