Well, things kinda fell apart this weekend.
Dh and I went to the Indianapolis 500 (which is a tradition in my family, this was my 24th race and my dad's 64th consecutive race). My MIL came from WV to watch the kids, and she brought my niece, who is 11 and a good friend of Desta's. I had high hopes for this weekend, because Desta was doing so well and she was so excited to see Grandma and her cousin.
Grandma reported that Desta was irritable and bossy all weekend. I had shown Desta where Efram's asthma medication is and reminded her that he takes it in the morning (I also wrote this down for Grandma, but Efram asks for his med every morning, so I wasn't super worried about it getting skipped). Desta took the paper I wrote instructions on, drew all over it, and lost it and then started arguing with Grandma about when Efram was supposed to take his med. (Luckily, Grandma listened to Efram and not to Desta.)
Desta reverted to her habit of writing all over things that are not hers and that are not appropriate to write on.
She had asked to borrow a cd of mine. I impressed upon her the idea that this cd was made by a friend of mine who lives in another country and is basically irreplaceable, and I asked her to be extremely careful with it. She said she would be. I came home to find it face up on the floor with a pile of stuff on it and the case in another room, broken. The cd now has a big z-shaped scratch on it. When I asked her about this, she said, "Oh, Efram wanted to use it so I let him. It's his fault." I told her that SHE had agreed to take responsibility for my cd and that she also knows that the little kids are not allowed to use our cds unless they ask US. She continued to say it was not her fault until I said, "What if I asked to borrow one of your Amharic cds that you brought from Ethiopia and you told me that they are special to you and to please be careful with it, and then I lent it to Efram and he wrecked it. Who would be responsible for that?" She said, "You." I said, "That's how I feel about my cd."
Yesterday she picked on Efram and Ramona all day. She was trying to pick fights with them and saying mean things. She was also very snarky with me.
I understand that her routine was disrupted, etc. I understand why these things happened. I was just thinking/hoping we were beyond this.
And considering that this is the first trip dh and I have taken together since Desta arrived (two years ago today), I really don't want to feel that if dh and I want some time alone, it's going to come at the expense of Desta's behavior and emotional health.