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Love and Logic - Page 13

post #241 of 278
Oh, DM, it's so wonderful you have been having so many positive breakthroughs! I've learned so much from your experience. Thank you for sharing it.
post #242 of 278
AWSOME -- I soooooooooooooooooooooo hope this helps her some -- to see life CAN BE differnt
post #243 of 278
That's fabulous. First, it's great that she was willing to go to the board--that takes a certain amount of courage just to go. And it's such a good lesson for her to observe! I'm really glad for both of you.
post #244 of 278
post #245 of 278
post #246 of 278
Wow! What a great experience for her! I have learned so much from reading about your experience with Desta. It is wonderful to hear good things are happening.
post #247 of 278
So cool - on so many levels. In some ways it's probably great that you weren't there, yk? That makes this totally hers! Nifty.
post #248 of 278
Thread Starter 
So Desta and I spent all afternoon talking like valley girls. We said "like" as often as we could. Desta locked me in the basement. I threatened to cut up her soccer shorts (which were drying in the basement) if she didn't let me out. (Yes, this was a joke and she knew it, because she then threatened to pee on my bed if I cut up her shorts; the cat peed on my side of the bed the other day and I didn't know it until I lay down in it.)

It was silly. It was goofy. It was good-spirited. It was exactly what I was hoping for in a relationship with my daughter.



dm
post #249 of 278
that's awesome!! it's so much fun for me to see Desta's emergence, I can only imagine how wonderful it must be for your family!
post #250 of 278
I'm soooo happy for you and Desta. I've got tears in my eyes which has never happened reading a post that mentions peeing in beds (cat or otherwise.)
post #251 of 278
The two of you continue to amaze and inspire me, and everyone!
post #252 of 278
wooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: : : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #253 of 278
I'm so happy for you! I'm just reading here alone, smiling hugely to myself picturing it and and so excited for what is happening in your family. You have eboth waited along time for this!
post #254 of 278
Thread Starter 
Last night Desta got hugely annoyed with dh for something that was relatively minor. She snapped nastily at him. I said, "Desta, I know you're annoyed, but please don't speak so rudely to Daddy."

She said, "Ok. I'm sorry Daddy." And she really meant it. I could tell by her voice.

Later she said, "I shouldn't have gotten so mad about that."

I said, "Well, everyone gets mad. I get mad easily sometimes, too. We just have to remember not to be snappy with people."

And that was it. No cold shoulder or sulking or anything like that.

I just continue to be stunned.

dm
post #255 of 278
More happy tears flowing your way.
post #256 of 278
Is it too soon to believe that it is no longer a fluke, that a change is really happening? Did the therapists give a timeline if when they usually start seeing breakthroughs or positive change? That is so great! I'm just truly so, so happy for you!
post #257 of 278
You are so inspiring and amazing, and DESTA!!! Wow! What a brave, strong girl. I am literally getting teary reading your stories of her taking control of her own life and future. What a great family you guys are.

Thanks so much for continuing to share these moments with us.
post #258 of 278
post #259 of 278
This is great!

post #260 of 278
Thread Starter 
Well, things kinda fell apart this weekend.

Dh and I went to the Indianapolis 500 (which is a tradition in my family, this was my 24th race and my dad's 64th consecutive race). My MIL came from WV to watch the kids, and she brought my niece, who is 11 and a good friend of Desta's. I had high hopes for this weekend, because Desta was doing so well and she was so excited to see Grandma and her cousin.

Grandma reported that Desta was irritable and bossy all weekend. I had shown Desta where Efram's asthma medication is and reminded her that he takes it in the morning (I also wrote this down for Grandma, but Efram asks for his med every morning, so I wasn't super worried about it getting skipped). Desta took the paper I wrote instructions on, drew all over it, and lost it and then started arguing with Grandma about when Efram was supposed to take his med. (Luckily, Grandma listened to Efram and not to Desta.)

Desta reverted to her habit of writing all over things that are not hers and that are not appropriate to write on.

She had asked to borrow a cd of mine. I impressed upon her the idea that this cd was made by a friend of mine who lives in another country and is basically irreplaceable, and I asked her to be extremely careful with it. She said she would be. I came home to find it face up on the floor with a pile of stuff on it and the case in another room, broken. The cd now has a big z-shaped scratch on it. When I asked her about this, she said, "Oh, Efram wanted to use it so I let him. It's his fault." I told her that SHE had agreed to take responsibility for my cd and that she also knows that the little kids are not allowed to use our cds unless they ask US. She continued to say it was not her fault until I said, "What if I asked to borrow one of your Amharic cds that you brought from Ethiopia and you told me that they are special to you and to please be careful with it, and then I lent it to Efram and he wrecked it. Who would be responsible for that?" She said, "You." I said, "That's how I feel about my cd."

Yesterday she picked on Efram and Ramona all day. She was trying to pick fights with them and saying mean things. She was also very snarky with me.

I understand that her routine was disrupted, etc. I understand why these things happened. I was just thinking/hoping we were beyond this.

And considering that this is the first trip dh and I have taken together since Desta arrived (two years ago today), I really don't want to feel that if dh and I want some time alone, it's going to come at the expense of Desta's behavior and emotional health.



dm
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