Confession Session ..... Get it off your Chest - Page 2

[paphia]

I'm worried that my MIL, who now lives with us, is going to hurt my child(ren). She hasn't done anything bad... yet... but she doesn't listen to a damn thing I tell her and she goes on and on about how great baby aspirin is and how great formula and honey-water bottles are and she picks things up off the floor and offers them to dd without really knowing what it is (she's assuming it's a dropped snack which it is 95% of the time... but once it was cat poo).

So I keep my child away from her unless I can supervise any interactions; I won't leave her alone near MIL for so long as a potty break or shower. We're moving to a bigger house and I fully intend on living upstairs unless I need to do food prep or laundry unless dh is around and then we can spend "family" time in the main floor and his mother can join us if she feels like coming out of her room.

I fantasize about her not being here constantly - just pack her off to an assisted living place or my BIL's... I dislike her personality so much. I try to politely ignore her as much as possible because it's the only way I'm staying sane. Well, dd, who used to give her an occasional hug and kiss, sits and ignores her too now whenever she is around. That or pushes her away, or waves bye-bye at her. She *loved* FIL so much and still misses him and he was so good with her and instead of having him around until he turned into a shrivelled up little old man, I've got this depressed hypochondriac neurotic worrying bossy rude filthy farting belching standoffish know-it-all woman in my house. And she's putting on weight and her blood pressure is down into a normal range for the first time in years and all her medical conditions are being handled so well. She's doing great! And I hate it.

And I feel so guilty for exposing my kids to a person I dislike. I also feel guilty for not being able to foster a better relationship between me/her/the babies. But I'd rather my kids pretend she's not there when she's around because I don't want them incorporating any of her horrible behaviors or think she is in some way "normal".

[xekomaya]

Originally Posted by momtoafireteam

My confession is that I feel like a POS mother for scheduling a c/s. I feel like I am letting down myself, my family and most importantly my daughter by depriving her of a vaginal birth. It makes me feel like a lesser mother, and I am ashamed. I have to get past these feelings...but its so hard.

This makes me so sad You're not a lesser mother -- You're not making an easy or uninformed choice. You can take steps to make it the best birth possible under the circumstances. I'm sure its easier to know all that in your brain than feel it in your heart. Wish there was more I could say...

I don't know if my confession fits but its been burning a hole in my chest.. MIL called me a few nights ago when she knew I'd be home alone - she's an alcoholic so she was drunk - to tell me that my DH wouldn't be alive if she weren't in the hospital because "like.. the cord was around his neck 40 billion times". Intellectually, it doesn't bother me because I really think anyone who tries to scare a 30+week pregnant women is an ignorant witch, but I've been keeping the call a secret from DH because I know how embarrassed he is of his mom's drinking and I don't want to make him feel badly, but I know I need to bring it up at some point because we really need to sit down and talk about how his parents won't be allowed to have "alone time" with the baby/child ever until her drinking is under control.... I know its no ones fault, I just feel like crap.

[NaturallyPeachey]

Originally Posted by Ironica

Statistically I think your kid has a 1 in 22 chance or so... but then, living gluten-free with two parents who have to anyway is really not going to be that difficult for the kid. And imagine how much easier it is to grow up with it than to have to make that change.

My son has been gluten-free for most of his life, since we *know* he reacts to wheat, and at least one family member has celiac, but we can't test him without him having a really uncomfortable rash for weeks while he consumes enough gluten to test positive... so we're keeping him gluten-free until he's old enough to decide for himself what he wants to do. I keep homemade cupcakes in the freezer and take them with us for birthday parties and stuff, and it just never phases him. He never even *asks* about having the birthday cake, because it's just always been a fact that they make him sick. We do plenty of treats at home, so it's not such a big deal to him when we're out. (He's also allergic to dairy, which lets out basically the entire dessert menu wherever we go.)

So, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you ;-). Growing up gluten-free is actually a LOT easier than starting it later!

Thanks for the encouraging story about you son being GF! DH and I were both just dx'ed a year ago so your right, growing up GF could be totally different then having to switch down the road. I've had my good days and bad days and when I think about my son having it I just know how bad the bad days can be. Like you said though, it will be a lot easier for him since we are a GF household and know what to look for if he were to develop it.

[PinkDog]

Damn, Paphia, that's rough. Everyone else I've read and nodded my head a little in sympathy and/or understanding, but yours...dang, girl. Hang in there.

Mine is that even though there are tons of "big" issues I could be obsessing over or worrying about, all I can think about is how mutilated my poor body is getting. I feel selfish for it, but I'm totally traumatized by the changes. I don't look like me anymore! I don't want stretch marks! My feet are totally wider and funny looking! My face is all blotchy with pigment! I can't focus on the happy stuff, or even the important stuff, because all I can focus on is the superficial stuff.

[squirt07]

heres mine. i cant get excited about this baby. with my first i was floating on air the entire time even when i felt miserable. i was just so happy. but with her i just feel so anxious and not ready. im terrified going from one to two. how do i go out in public with them when im alone? will i ever get sleep? my 15mo is going through an awful clingy stage.what is he gonna do. im kinda angry that there will be some in between us.

and this is kinda off topic but, im tired of feeling so frumpy.ugh im such a hag right now, and the thing is i have no idea where to start. i dont know how to pick nice clothes that fit well. i want to feel pretty so bad instead of like a tired pregnant mommy.

[kjoy2]

Originally Posted by PinkDog

Mine is that even though there are tons of "big" issues I could be obsessing over or worrying about, all I can think about is how mutilated my poor body is getting. I feel selfish for it, but I'm totally traumatized by the changes. I don't look like me anymore! I don't want stretch marks! My feet are totally wider and funny looking! My face is all blotchy with pigment! I can't focus on the happy stuff, or even the important stuff, because all I can focus on is the superficial stuff.

Hey Pink Dog, it's okay to feel that way. I found my first stretch marks today, and I'm working through the 'my body is changing' issues, too. But remember after puberty? I mean, for me, I loved my new body! I loved gaining weight and curves! And this is just another step; hopefully we'll all accept and love our mama bodies, especially when realizing why they are how they are.
This site is amazing: http://theshapeofamother.com/

[ishereal]

So.... I don't really like the dog right now especially since my dog (yorkie) died or should I say he was killed by my DS, he said he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better. He just so happened to step on him the night him and the other dog (butch a boxer) got out and trashed the living room. He says he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better because Logan (my yorkie) was tooooooo fast to even let you get that close especially when he sensed you were mad. I really miss him, the vet said that he had no broken bones just head trauma
p.s. butch is just too big for me to handle, my DS ask me put him in his cage when I leave for work in the morning, but the damn dog will not budge, and I have to find the strength (using stomach muscles) to pick him up and drag him in his cage. And then DS texted me and asked me if I took him out side?? HELL NO I DID NOT TAKE HIM OUT SIDE I AM 31 WEEKS PREG (32 tomorrow) AND IT IS DARK AND BELOW 20 DEGREES WTF :::

[kjoy2]

Originally Posted by ishereal

So.... I don't really like the dog right now especially since my dog (yorkie) died or should I say he was killed by my DS, he said he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better. He just so happened to step on him the night him and the other dog (butch a boxer) got out and trashed the living room. He says he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better because Logan (my yorkie) was tooooooo fast to even let you get that close especially when he sensed you were mad. I really miss him, the vet said that he had no broken bones just head trauma

All right, honey, I know you said, 'no judgment passing' at the beginning of this, but this post makes me want to buy you a one way ticket to my house and force you on the darn plane... :

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by kjoy2

All right, honey, I know you said, 'no judgment passing' at the beginning of this, but this post makes me want to buy you a one way ticket to my house and force you on the darn plane... :

I know..... I can not believe I finally said it.... I had to let it out.....

[amaniesa]

I just want to give BIG HUGS to all you ladies.

Here's mine: My DD (24mos) is a little sick today with a low-grade fever, and I'm ashamed that I'm kinda happy about it. This girl just has TOOO much energy for me, and refuses to nap most days. Today, she has been sleepy and not as energetic, and I actually got to take a nap.

[ishereal]

We All Need It

[Ironica]

Originally Posted by NaturallyPeachey

Thanks for the encouraging story about you son being GF! DH and I were both just dx'ed a year ago so your right, growing up GF could be totally different then having to switch down the road. I've had my good days and bad days and when I think about my son having it I just know how bad the bad days can be. Like you said though, it will be a lot easier for him since we are a GF household and know what to look for if he were to develop it.

If it were me? I wouldn't even "look for it," I'd keep him GF until he's old enough to participate in the decisions. At 3.5, if my son expresses interest in a food that has something he reacts to in it, I can talk to him about what that food might do to him, and ask him if he wants to try it (knowing what it might do). So far, he's always decided no, except for Jelly Bellies ;-) (he has a slight reaction to artificial colors in largish doses). Gluten really isn't a great food for humans... it's just an easy source of calories that happens to form into very appealing tastes and textures (and, apparently, set up an addictive response in susceptible individuals). Toddlers are messy eaters, so if you feed him something with gluten, you WILL get contaminated too :-/. When he's six or seven, he'll be ready to decide if he wants to try eating two pieces of wheat bread every day for a month and then get tested, or if he's content just living the GF lifestyle with his parents. I know a *lot* of kids who choose the latter.

Originally Posted by ishereal

So.... I don't really like the dog right now especially since my dog (yorkie) died or should I say he was killed by my DS, he said he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better. He just so happened to step on him the night him and the other dog (butch a boxer) got out and trashed the living room. He says he kicked him down the stairs on accident but I know better because Logan (my yorkie) was tooooooo fast to even let you get that close especially when he sensed you were mad. I really miss him, the vet said that he had no broken bones just head trauma

This is not judgment, just truth...

You've previously revealed stuff before that made people worry ;-), me included, about your DP. There's a HUGE correlation between animal abuse and domestic violence. There's also a lot of DV that begins after a child joins the family. This incident is another big, giant, flashing warning sign telling you that this is an abusive person. You can do better. You deserve better. So does your baby.

[Goddess3_2005]

ishereal, Monica's right. If you ever need to talk privately please PM or email me. I was married to an abusive man, if I told you what he would do you wouldn't even believe it. Yet it took me 4 years to get away from him. Leaving is hard, staying is worse.

[oyinmama]

(((hugs ishereal, paphia)))

(((hugs all the mamas in this thread)))


thanks for the shape of a mother link, kjoy. what a great site.

[ishereal]

I feel horrible that I will be 21 in August and just now starting school ..... I don't want to let my boy down .... I have a problem with measuring my success/failures with someone else's.........

[ishereal]

I have not been touched in soooo long .................

[katiesk]

ishereal - you sound bummed out. I'm glad you started this thread, but it is making me worried about you!

[limette]

I've eaten a crazy amount of cinnamon buns in the past two weeks. Pregnancy gives me a sweet craving and I've learned how to make cinabon clones using my bread machine.

I'm currently debating making another batch today.

[ishereal]

Can I have some ???::

[ishereal]

Originally Posted by katiesk

ishereal - you sound bummed out. I'm glad you started this thread, but it is making me worried about you!

Will update later on.......