Originally Posted by AngelaM
It's funny, I am sooo committed to not placing traditionally gendered expectations on my child, and yet, I can't wait to find out the sex at my ultrasound next week!
For me, the beginning of my pregnancy was somewhat emotionally tumultuous, and, although it was a very planned pregnancy, it still took me awhile to get excited about the process. Finding out the baby's sex feels like another way for me to bond with it, and to understand more about the person I'll be sharing the rest of my life with. Also, I think I want some time to really think through what it means for me to raise a boy, or a raise a girl, and how to break down and counteract some of my own gender preconceptions. Obviously you could make the argument that I could do that just as well without knowing the kids anatomy, but what can I say? I want to know...
Me, too. What you said.
Re tumult and its relation to wanting to know: last pg, with my dd, I ended up going for amniocentesis, nerve-wracking. So when they asked if I wanted to know the sex along with the other results, I was like-- hell yeah! I want to get some extra (harmless) info from this nerve-wracking process!
Re gendered expectations: Oh man. (LOL) Having gone through almost 2 yrs now with my dd, I get so
about the gender expectations/marketing placed on her from day 1. It's worse than you think out there. She's not even 2 and I just had to find a WAHM to make soft soled shoes for her because the major brands out there all have either monster trucks on brown or princesses on pale pink as the available selection. I was actually YELLED at in a baby store by an elderly man for putting my then-3 month old daughter in pale blue. He said how was he supposed to be able to tell she was a girl? WHAT? Um, who cares mister? He definitely thought I was failing not just dd, but in my social obligation, my social graces. SIGH.
But the more interesting thing is: these examples make it so so easy to just feel smug that you are not like THAT. No, I'm not like THAT. But it is therefore easy to overlook (and convenient, ahem) my own gendered expectations. I want to know, I think it will make some kind of big difference, I have my own preference. WHy? SO many interesting things to think about, there. Like many people who resist some parts of gender-normalizing, I think there are places/aspects where I am happy to defy and surprise societal expectations (for myself, for my dd, for my partner) but other aspects where I am way way more comfortable with gender-'appropriate' conformity. Which makes the whole business complex and fascinating. Easy peasy to say I think it's just absurd that toddler girls jeans are cut like Britney's and princess movies are inculcating gender subordination and avoid these. Still easy to say I want my boy to be a ballerina and girl to be tough. (yeah, we have our own gender-expectations, lol) But that's just the tip of the iceburg, eh?
Um, I really do have a lot of work to do right at this moment that doesn't involve writing a novella on MDC. LOL. Back to it.
PS So, I really do want to find out. Don't know if I will get the opportunity-- they don't normally tell you at ultrasound here. Not that I won't try to wheedle it out of them.