Talking about PPD to others...what do you get?

[dannic]

Granted, today was not a very good day, mood-wise--please bear with me.
I just need to talk to someone who really understands. I feel like when I want to discuss what I am dealing with, that (besides my husband) nobody understands and/or nobody wants to hear it. If I broach the subject of ppd, people get uncomfortable.
I have a friend who had gallstones and it's fine to talk about that. If I had any myriad other issues, we could discuss them. But let me mention that I am often depressed, irritable, tired, have no libido, can't concentrate--and frustrated with my lack of ability to be my normal self? People (in my world at least) can't bear it.
I get blank stares, or advice to be tough from well meaning others, or discomfited glances in the how-can-I get-away-from-her way.
I want to be normal again. I want to feel happy about everything again. I want to be able to discuss this and be understood. I AM trying. This is not my fault. I didn't sign up for PPD. I want to be whole again.
There. That helped. Thanks for letting me vent.
So, is it just my particular corner of the world, or do any of you get this too?
Sorry you had to hear the rant to get to the question...and thanks for wading thru!

[Annie37]

I know exactly how you feel,as I really have no one I can talk to about it with. I think there is still a lot of stigma surrounding PPD, maybe because of cases like Andrea Yates,& people may associate that w/ PPD...? I've been doing a lot of reading of other womens' experiances w/ PPD,and that has helped me to not feel so alone.

[kalisis]

s mama.

It can be very difficult to find anyone who can relate. It's such a tough road to travel and then we oftentimes have to do it so alone.

We're here for you when you need to talk, though.

[dannic]

Thanks, "Annies". I've known I'm in depression and I've been working to heal it, have had episodes occassionally since puberty...but this time it began during pregnancy and lasted thru to ppd. Last night was the first time I'd actually looked it up and realized just how classic and totally ppd I am. And it frustrated me.
So thanks for chiming in. Sometimes I'm afraid to post for fear of not getting a reply....I love MDC.

[kalisis]

I also have found that keeping my ears open at just general family events will often find you someone (or two somebodies) who have gone through or are going through what you are. That's how I realized I had serious PPD - I overhead a couple of women talking about their experiences and I realized that what I had *wasn't* just a tough case of the normal baby blues - it was actually a pretty serious bout of PPD. Those women became some of my best allies when I needed info or to talk to someone about it.

s again.

[friendlymamma]

Originally Posted by anniej

I also have found that keeping my ears open at just general family events will often find you someone (or two somebodies) who have gone through or are going through what you are. That's how I realized I had serious PPD - I overhead a couple of women talking about their experiences and I realized that what I had *wasn't* just a tough case of the normal baby blues - it was actually a pretty serious bout of PPD. Those women became some of my best allies when I needed info or to talk to someone about it.

s again.

I want to second this. I have found the best people to talk to are those who have been through it or are going through it. I think other people can't relate, or don't think it's real. I was one of those people once, until it happened to me. We have a neighborhood group of moms, and I found 2 moms who had been through it and that I've been able to talk to and help me through this. Keep your ears and eyes open and I hope you find someone to support you. Remember, there's always MDC and we don't mind the rant or venting. I did my rant, too, when I was first diagnosed and it helped tremendously!

[dannic]

I'll have to! Going thru this has made me wonder how many others are out there who are silently dealing with this, too. I know I can't be the only mom here in town who is, right?

[gwerydd]

it's intersting, after i suffered from the worst of the PPD i met people in my family and my dh's family who also suffered from PPD. that helped me a lot to not feel like such an outcast. it's not something we talk about to pregnant women or new moms, it's like we think we will scare them, but in reality how many new mums are wondering if they are the only one.

[Surfacing]

I've been picking and chosing who to talk to about PPD and mood problems, but I've been slowly finding people among my friends and family who I can mention it to and keep it confidential. It helped not to paint everyone with the same brush ("Oh I have to keep it a secret from everyone, noone will understand, they'll judge me,") take a leap of faith with a few people who I feel very close to, and go from there.

It's amazing when you start finding out that other people have struggled with the same thing too, or something similar. It's still pretty private, there is so much stigma, but it helps to talk. Yep, like other posters said, come here to vent, share, talk and give updates!

[J's Mombee]

Have you ever wanted to teach somebody about something else (not PPD) that you might have been uncomfortable about, but you felt like people just needed to know?

My little brother needed to know about safe sex and my mom didn't seem to get the important facts across adequately, in my opinion, so I kinda closed my eyes (not literally) and began the conversation. I was shaking on the inside, nervous, and hoping that he would hear me, but I just kept going with the facts, and I kept listening.

I kinda take the approach that I took in talking to my brother about safe sex when I talk about PPD.

So many people don't think that PPD exists, or they believe that you are dangerous to your DC because of news articles about extreme cases.

I spoke to my cousin during a family trip planning meeting about PPD in front of everyone, even tho my family members jumped in pledging their plans to be supportive to her, and to make sure that she didn't "get that stuff [PPD].
While they were saying this, I wanted to cry, bc I was going through PPD at the time and I sooooooooo needed someone to just call me and see how I was doing or be a little more supportive of me.

Anywho, now my 1 cousin that experienced it is really easy to talk about it with, but others do give me blank looks or look at me as if I were crazy.

My grandmother told me that she had 10 children and she had never had any "stuff like that" happen to her. When she said that, I don't know why, but I felt soooo alone, weird, and isolated.

It was hard, and it is not so hard, since the PPD seems to be over (DS is 20 months, and it seems to have lasted for about 14 months or so, decreasing over time).

I find it very easy to talk about it on MDC, and I even find it easier to explain on MDC how afraid I am of having children in the future for fear of PPD again.

[J's Mombee]

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