I think the mark of a great mother is she worries about everything. Let me take a couple of things off of your worry list so you can get to the really important things.
Let's talk about the redness first. Redness at the tip seems to be very common in intact boys and almost always seems to go away in a day or so. It may be caused by a diaper rash type irritation, his "fiddling" with it, (it seems to be boys favorite diversion) or the normal separation process. If you are keeping his diaper changed quicdkly and there is no redness anywhere else, you can probably rule that out. Boys pull and twist at it in what appears to be almost brutal but they will not hurt themselves. It is really a very durable part. this pulling and twisting can make it a little irritated but this will go away in a day or so. Third, the pulling and twisting may be pulling at normal adhesions that do not release evenly and can be causing minor irritation. The release process seems to cause some itching inside the foreskin which is a place he can't reach to scratch. His pulling and the irritation may be the result of him trying to scratch an itch he can't get to. Just watch the redness and if it doesn't resolve on it's own in a couple of days, you may want to check with the pediatrician. If your son is showing signs of distress, I would also check with the ped. Otherwise, don't worry.
The white stuff you have seen is absolutely normal. It's called "smegma" which is a greek word for "soap" and that should be a hint for you because it's purpose is to clean. It's a combination of sebum, body oils and dead skin cells. The tissue that bonds the foreskin to the glans in an infant is called epithelium and while all other tissue in the body is constantly replacing itself, the epithelium does not replace it self as it breaks down. This is what makes the eventual separation of the foreskin and glans possible. This separation is already in it's begining stages for your son. The smegma does two things for your son. First of all, it helps keep anything from getting in and it also acts as a barrier between the separated portions of the glans and foreskin so that they don't grow back together and form permanent adhesions. Your son's body will produce varying amounts of this substance for the rest of his life. As the separation process continues, there will be small amounts that will come out the tip of the foreskin. Occasionally, there will be lumps of it that you will be able to see inside the foreskin. These lumps will move around inside the foreskin for several days and eventually be expelled. That is all perfectly normal and expected.
One other thing that you may or may not notice. It's called "ballooning." As your son's foreskin separates, the sphincter at the tip may remain tight for quite some time. When your son urinates, the foreskin may "puff out" or balloon. He may also spray urine instead of having a stream and he may have to sit to urinate for a while. Both of these are short lived and will correct themselves with in a few months.
Now that you know what not to worry about, go worry about something important, good mamma!