Sex after vaginal birth

[newmommy27]

ok so I had my successful VBAC...WOOHOO yay me

I am 12 days postpartum and feeling a bit frisky...

I had no desire with my last till about a month postpartum but we are both feeling ready

How long should we wait till we have sex?

thanks in advance

[kalisis]

The m/w, ob recommendations are at least 6 weeks.

You go mama b/c I wasn't ready for at least 3 months.

I've heard a lot of women DTD a lot sooner than either of those recommendations though. Or, you know, there are other things you might do with your partner that don't involve penetration.

[momileigh]

Congrats on the VBAC!

I absolutely recommend you wait until you stop bleeding.

I know what you're saying. I was feeling in the mood at 4 days postpartum (only in between my monster afterpains). But even though I was "in the mood," I knew my body wasn't ready. When we first tried at 5 weeks pp, I was just barely ready, physically speaking.

That's w/ my second birth. With the first one, I thought I was totally ready at 6 weeks. YEAOUCH! (I had had a 2nd degree tear that time.) But by 8 weeks I was ok.

The lochia (bleeding) indicates your body is still healing. I am in favor of respecting that, and waiting until the flow has totally stopped, before you have intercourse. (And some people wait longer than that, but that depends on how you feel, how long you bleed, and whether you suffered tissue damage or not.)

On the other hand, some midwives give the go-ahead at 3 weeks regardless, and I know some people wait only 1 week and nothing bad has happened as a result that I know of.

[tlcdoula]

With my seventh that is how I was (honestly this was the only one I EVER felt like this). My flow had stopped about one week after the birth, and it was very hard for dh and I to abstain. In the end I think we actually dtd (very carefully with much more foreplay and less penetration) at about 2 1/2 weeks and for me it was very comfortable - no pain at all.

What did your healthcare provider recommend?

[CarolynnMarilynn]

If your partner is male, my concern with intercourse before lochia stops is that semen is not sterile, the cervix is still open a little, and the placenta bed wound is still healing. But you know, the risk is probably so small, that it is really up to you to decide. Remember though, you *can* get pregnant before your first period! I had ovulatory cycles (I think - had m. pain) on the heels of my lochia stopping with my first two. You could consider a condom. Go gentle, use lots of lube. Toys should be very clean.

If your partner isn't male, I would just ensure clean hands, extra-clean toys, lots of lube and go gentle.

Enjoy when you are ready.

[Maggi315]

I've seen a few nasty infections from early sex, so I would recommend waiting another 2 weeks or so. But if you decide to go ahead, make sure to wash the penis really well and probably shower or bathe afterward to prevent infection.

wow, I wish I had that desire so soon, you're husband must be thrilled,