We talk about our problems, joys, sorrows 
. But rarely do we discuss the bigger picture of our mothering/fathering:
These are the things I do as a mother or father that I like:
These are the things I want to work on:
These are the things I like about my child, which I think are a direct result of my parenting:
These are the things my child does that I don't like so much, and which I think are a direct result of my parenting:
Triggers/tension points and what do about them:
Consider it an online journal. My idea is to answer these questions in terms of the present - what I am doing now as a parent to a young child - and not the past - how I parented a baby.
I'll go first!
*I have always been a good listener. When my dd and I talk we make eye contact. I often get down to her level. If I don't understand I continue to ask questions until I do. I try very hard not to do the ol' uh-huh-OK-honey-without-looking-at-her-thing.
I am also intuitive about her needs and desires.
*I spend lots of time with my dd. I do have a woman coming three hours a day so I can get some rest. The rest of those hours (dh works 13-14 hours/day) are one-on-one time.
*I give lots and lots of affection. Lots of skin-to-skin contact.
*I respect my dd as a person. I allow her to make her own choices in everything. I try very hard not to question her if she says she has brushed her teeth and I suspect she hasn't. This is very important to me.
*I offer lots of healthy foods, but I never refuse to give her a sweet if she asks. She rarely finishes one anyway.
*I am trying to raise her far from the influence of media and big companies.
*We love to sleep together!
That's what I can think of for now.
*My patience has become shorter. I feel that this is due to our big move, my chronic pain, her increasing talkativeness. It was very difficult to slow down as much as we have over the past year. It has been so worth it! But it was still a difficult transition. But I think we're comfortable with our pace now. The pain makes me tried and irritable. Her incessant questions and talking drive me mad sometimes. I am keeping a journal (I bought a new one this morning) on my triggers. I am now stopping much quicker. I will get to a point where I raise my voice, but at the moment I will stop immediately after, go to her, give her a hug and explain what is bothering me. I'm hoping to get to a point where I can stop myself before screaming. But I'm so proud of myself for getting this far!
* I sigh too much! My dd has started to sigh too, and it's going to drive me batty knowing that it's because of me! And I really don't want to sigh when she's talking my ear off - I can imagine how it would feel to be a child and feel like you're boring your mommy to death.
* I want to have more energy, more joy.
* I think I buy her things too often. On the one hand, she needs things for activities to keep her busy with her babysitter and we don't go to the store very often, so it's not every day. But when we do go to the store she wants something. I have to say that she doesn't scream if she doesn't get anything. I just think she has enough things (and she doesn't have even one quarter of what all the other kids in her playgroup have).
* She is calm (rarely tantrums anymore), self-confident (can stick up for herself - even with me), creative, musical, inquisitive. Those are the things I think can be traced to my mothering.
She is developing a temper. Not tantrums. A bonafide temper. I am talking to her about how I am working on mine; hopefully she'll follow suit.
Like I said above, she has started to sigh.
She grits her teeth. Both dad and I do it. She does it when she feels love and when she feels anger. We talk to her about it, but neither of us has stopped doing it.
She is not good with the cat. She can be. She knows perfectly well how to handle the cat and will show it. But then you find her stepping on its tail, holding him by the neck, etc. I do positive reinforcement for the good handling. We have removed the cat from the situation; we have removed her from the situation. We have locked ourselves inside the house and the cat outside the house. I would gladly give him away if I could.
Fatigue
Too much sensory input
Pain
Cat problem will get me screaming!
GOTTA GO! I'll finish later!
. But rarely do we discuss the bigger picture of our mothering/fathering:These are the things I do as a mother or father that I like:
These are the things I want to work on:
These are the things I like about my child, which I think are a direct result of my parenting:
These are the things my child does that I don't like so much, and which I think are a direct result of my parenting:
Triggers/tension points and what do about them:
Consider it an online journal. My idea is to answer these questions in terms of the present - what I am doing now as a parent to a young child - and not the past - how I parented a baby.
I'll go first!
Quote:
| These are the things I do as a mother or father that I like: |
I am also intuitive about her needs and desires.
*I spend lots of time with my dd. I do have a woman coming three hours a day so I can get some rest. The rest of those hours (dh works 13-14 hours/day) are one-on-one time.
*I give lots and lots of affection. Lots of skin-to-skin contact.
*I respect my dd as a person. I allow her to make her own choices in everything. I try very hard not to question her if she says she has brushed her teeth and I suspect she hasn't. This is very important to me.
*I offer lots of healthy foods, but I never refuse to give her a sweet if she asks. She rarely finishes one anyway.
*I am trying to raise her far from the influence of media and big companies.
*We love to sleep together!
That's what I can think of for now.
Quote:
| These are the things I want to work on: |
* I sigh too much! My dd has started to sigh too, and it's going to drive me batty knowing that it's because of me! And I really don't want to sigh when she's talking my ear off - I can imagine how it would feel to be a child and feel like you're boring your mommy to death.
* I want to have more energy, more joy.
* I think I buy her things too often. On the one hand, she needs things for activities to keep her busy with her babysitter and we don't go to the store very often, so it's not every day. But when we do go to the store she wants something. I have to say that she doesn't scream if she doesn't get anything. I just think she has enough things (and she doesn't have even one quarter of what all the other kids in her playgroup have).
Quote:
| These are the things I like about my child, which I think are a direct result of my parenting |
Quote:
| These are the things my child does that I don't like so much, and which I think are a direct result of my parenting |
Like I said above, she has started to sigh.
She grits her teeth. Both dad and I do it. She does it when she feels love and when she feels anger. We talk to her about it, but neither of us has stopped doing it.
She is not good with the cat. She can be. She knows perfectly well how to handle the cat and will show it. But then you find her stepping on its tail, holding him by the neck, etc. I do positive reinforcement for the good handling. We have removed the cat from the situation; we have removed her from the situation. We have locked ourselves inside the house and the cat outside the house. I would gladly give him away if I could.
Quote:
| Triggers/tension points and what do about them |
Too much sensory input
Pain
Cat problem will get me screaming!
GOTTA GO! I'll finish later!
)
:
