42 Weeks Update post #28

[Teenytoona]

I'm at 42 weeks today, and Mommas, I need your help!

I went to my MW's appt yesterday. She went over some options with me, which made a lot of sense. SHe and the back-up doctor want to make sure everything we do from this point on would still make it look good on the records should we have to go into the hospital. I totally understand that. From what she can feel, the baby is approaching the 9 lb range. She said at first high 8 -9 lb, but my feeling is, she just said that 8 lb bit to not stress me out. She said the head seems to be about on par with a nine pounder, but it is nice and low. Thank Goddess.

She wants to start some stuff up to encourage/push labor along because she's concerned about me being a first timer and having a baby so big that it would be really hard on my cervix/vagina. I very much understand that. I've agreed to cervical stimulation by her tomorrow if nothing happens today, and then some castor oil Tuesday(she says she only has her moms take small doses, she thinks a little is certainly enough). She's concerned enough to consider taking me into the hospital for a slight pit drip if it takes much longer than that. I truly want to avoid the hospital at all costs. She did tell me that I'm handling being this late very wonderfully and she has confidence everything will go very well once labor gets really going.

MY bp is up a good bit 130-ish over 96, but she's started me on a whole slew of things, and already I think it's working. I have been swollen really badly, no pitting, just swollen hands (with carpal tunnel) and swollen feet. Well I started on her rememdies yesterday afternoon, and I woke up this mornign without the swollen hands I usually have, that was good!

Last night, I woke up at about 1 am, completely frustrated, I had no ctxs yesterday at all. Mr Toona thought maybe I was having ctxs and I said that was the problem, there was nothing, just being uncomfortable and cranky... Then I started bawling. Mr Toona, sweet as he is held me while i bawled, then gave me a wonderful foot/leg massage...

But Mommas, I think I need some help visualizing this baby coming, anything to help me help this labor start and ultimately progress. I understand what my MW wants to do, but I'm really hoping that this labor will start and this baby be born at home. Please help me with any suggestions you might have. I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much...

[mamabutterfly]

Wanted to send you a hug, first of all! I think psychologically it's hard to reach certain "dates" and still maintain the confidence that your body works, kwim? I'm sure you chose homebirth in part because you believe that birth is normal, your body and babe know just what to do, etc. Except in certain vulnerable moments it's easy to doubt ourselves [e.g. "Maybe this just works for everyone besides me."]

I remember during labor with my first, having the unmistakable and certain thought that it turned out I wasn't one of the people who could have a baby. I kept my eyes closed and wondered how to break it to the midwife. I realize now it was transition, but I think that all of the end of pregnancy can be a period of really profound release. There is so much to surrender, whether it's your physical body like it used to be, your expectations, your sense of control. What other big events do we ever let arrive on their own accord? (Hmm... someone come in my bedroom one morning toward the end of my engagement and announce to me it's my surprise wedding day ) I guess end of life also comes sort of unannounced, but birthing is something we are preparing to actively DO, and looking forward to, anticipating, trying to welcome. The waiting for it is a really deep kind of letting go, I think.

Anyway, that's my rambling on the psychological side of it! Sounds like you and your midwife had a great conversation about this, and the options seem reasonable. Is it silly to ask whether you are doing all kinds of natural labor-starting things? I'm sure you are. Is accupuncture an option for you where you are? Combine that with cumin tea (literally cumin in hot water - yuck but can be effective!). Maybe a breast pump?
There are pros and cons to castor oil, but at 42 weeks I think it's a sensible option, imo.

And visualization is a wonderful idea. I have a script that I love on visualizing birth. I have it on my other computer, I can try to post it later. It's adapted from the back of "The Doula Book" by Kennell and Klaus. You could probably write your own, with affimations and your ideal birth scenario, and have hubby read it to you, or record it for yourself. Repetition is really effective with this.

Hang in there, you are doing a wonderful job nurturing that baby within and I think your labor is on the way!

mb

[RasJi7]

Childbirth teacher/doula suggested thinking about the camera lens that opens...

How about a flower blooming

Can you see this image? http://jitcrunch.cafepress.com/jitcr...NzaW9uPTk1fA==

If you can't see it it's from www.inamay.com from her store. A beautiful picture of a little head coming out of a lotus/yoni

http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/bl...s/Img_0067.jpg

http://www.goddessgift.net/images/Ba...rthSmBA026.jpg

http://www.awakenedwoman.com/graphics1/birth.gif

You are doing such an amazing job- thank you for being an inspiration.

[gingerbane]

You can do it momma. Believe me, I know how hopeless it seems but it is NOT. You are amazing. Your body was made for this. This baby was made to fit through your body. Deep breaths and take it one day at a time. Maybe we'll be birthing buddies yet!!

[flapjack]

Would your midwife be available for a stretch and sweep on Tuesday? I laughed myself into labour with Skye reading a beautifully written induction recipe- basically 2tsp of castor oil in orange juice, stretch and sweep, another 2tsp later. (FWIW, I'd probably only take half that.)

I can so totally relate to where you're coming from, and I'm so sorry that you're sitting there in such a grim place emotionally right now. How do you feel? Do you feel worried that this baby isn't out yet, or are you still confident that everything is going to be OK? (Honestly. Most of the time. And when you wobble, how hard is the wobble?)
One of the things I've always found is that there's a BIG lull in contractions right before early labour starts up. The silence is noticeable- so don't worry if you're not feeling contractions right now, it doesn't mean you're broken. Also- erm, trying to figure out how to put this. Girls like us don't HAVE the cute little 6lb babies most of the time. We have the 8/9/10/14lbers and people see our newborns and talk about Winston Churchill. It doesn't mean that they're harder to get out, just that sometimes they take their time to do the job right. My biggest was still my most comfortable labour, though I had to work to get him down through my pelvis and to the point where I had to push- do you want a link to Alex's birth story, btw? It's here on MDC if you do, and it's still a beyootiful first-time homebirth story.
The only other thing I can give you is advice that I was given last time: live every day as if it was the day that your baby were born. See the beauty in the small things, and tell your baby about them. She can hear you and feel you, and she is closer to you now, this close to her birthday, than she will ever be in her life. Cherish these last few days.
You are so close to this adventure, you know? I don't know how your labour is going to start, or how it's going to go, but I'm really looking forward to hearing about it and sharing parenting our little ones with you. Safe passage.

[Mama2-4]

Teeny, I totally understand where you are. With my last 3 babies I have gone post dates. I always get the induction talk from my midwife and leave feeling so deflated and have no confidence in myself.

I have been able to pull myself together though and let labor happen. For sure with the last 2 babies I have not been totally mentally ready. I have waited for my Mom and Dad to get here to care for the other kids and for my DH to be home from work. I have also not spent much time the last week or 2of pregnancy imagining the birth and the baby.

So, I think really spend some time envisioning labor, the baby etc....go for some long walks with Mr. Toona and talk about birth and the baby.

Do you know how favorable your cervix is? Have you been taking EPO?

Good luck and stay positive, soon you will be holding your little one, you can do this Mama!!! :

[Teenytoona]

: Thanks Mommas! I posted this then got shy and almost didn't come back to read it... I'm glad I did.

Mamabutterfly, thank you for your Psychological Rambling. It is so true. It's hard to prepare for an unknown date. I think it's the letting go part that I"M not perfect with. Some days I feel on, and then after being free with allowing it for what seems like a long while, I get frustrated. So I will have to tap into it again. I'd love your script on visualization. Sometimes I try to sort of ffree form it, then start feeling a little silly, so I stop. As for our own attempts at making labor start, I've been doing the pineapple thing (it's been on sale lately, the grocery godesses must know something!), my midwife gave me a tincture I've been taking a while that's got squawvine, blue cohosh, bayberry, red raspberry extract as well as several other things in it. I've been drinking RRL tea since oh, week 16 or so, before I even picked my midwife I have now. We've been taking walks when the weather hasn't been knock down cold. Today looks like an ideal day for it We've been dtd alot, but we um, kinda do that anyways. Haven't started any EPO, but maybe will consider that.

Thanks Ras, those are really great pictures. And thanks for the sweet words, it means alot to me!

Gingerbane, I"m glad you popped in. I felt a little selfish making this thread, thinking that you're probably going through alot of the same things. Thanks so much.

Helen, I love the laughing yourself into labor image! That's what I would love! My MW said she doesn't like to do sweeps because she doesn't like the risk of membrane rupture, so I guess we're doing a sort of stretch tomorrow (if the baby doesn't come by then). She says she prefers to do a cervical stimulation, which I imagine has a stretching element to it. I didn't really think to ask about the details on it, I just decided something would be good. heh, I usually want to know every detail. I think I'm still most of the time operating under the premise of it will all work out ok, but with the lack of ctx yesterday, when I was so sure that there were going to get stronger every night until the baby came really really bummed me out. There was nothing last night. Today I've been okish, but really irritable about little things. I started bawling because I couldn't fold up my wrap after washing it (my SIL used it on my nephew, who promptly pooped, heh). You're right about the size of the babes. My sister has babies in the 9lb + range, so I told myself I can do it too. Thank you for the rest of what you said about the last few days... I'm gettign teary reading them...

Mama2_4 thank you so much! I know some folks just go late. I know my mom and sister did, so I tried to prepare myself, but it's easier said than done all the time. Today is a beautiful day for a walk and talk with Mr Toona. it's really a nice warmish winter day today. I"m not sure where my cervix is. I only know I'm wierdly superstitious about checking it myself. So I haven't. I feel like today I've been feeling some readjustment from time to time, but I know nothing definitive. I figure either way, I will know something tomorrow. Whether my MW comes to stimulate it, or comes in response to labor starting.

Everyone, you're all so wonderful, with all your good thoughts. Really I don't know what I'd do without you all and Mr Toona, (he wouldn't even let me dry the dishes today, kicked me right out of the kitchen) thank you so much...:

[Fletchersmama]

TeenyToona,
first of all, my first was 10lbs 5 oz, and I had just one small tear, no stitches. No damage done! I feel a bit worried that your midwife is worried about this baby being hard on your cervix/vagina.
Sorry I don't want to question your midwife, she sounds truly wonderful. Also I worship midwives - what would we do without them?

I just worry about what that puts into your mind/thoughts. I don't believe your body will make a baby too big for you. Our vaginas/cervix stretch for a reason. My labor with Fletch was long and tiring - but for a good reason, to prepare my body for him. When I think back on his birth I don't think about pain, I think about being tired and his body slipping out in the end. I think about his beautiful face and chubby checks and staring eyes.

The only other thing I can give you is advice that I was given last time: live every day as if it was the day that your baby were born. See the beauty in the small things, and tell your baby about them. She can hear you and feel you, and she is closer to you now, this close to her birthday, than she will ever be in her life. Cherish these last few days.

Love what flapjack said . On my walk yesterday the wind really picked up, whipping the trees about and making the lake water all choppy. I was feeling so grateful for the reminder, about all the power in nature. Made me think about the magical power of birth.

Also I'm doing affirmations: (if you like them, remember to say them in the present tense, not the future!)

I am relaxed and loose and ready for birth
I trust in the power and labor of birth
My body opens wide to birth my children
My children are born when ready

good luck mama, you can and will do it!

[Jezzy]

No advice here. The advice from the other mama's is great! Awesome pics RasJi7!!

Just wanted to give you some hugs...

[steph117]

Teeny,
Being a first-timer myself I don't have any advice from experience...but I love what the other mamas have been writing & the images posted! The only thing I can offer is, in echoing what other PPs have written - it seems like you've been felt great faith in yourself & your upcoming home birth throughout this pregnancy. Try to tap back into the knowledge you had before these last two weeks, when you just KNEW you could do it! Your baby will help you - you're partners in this together. Maybe have some more talks with your baby, really going down inside and having a heart-to-heart with him/her. I hope your baby decides to come sooner rather than later - hopefully all these : from people all over will help!
Lots of good thoughts to you, mama, & big to you too...

[LoveChild421]

I wasn't overdue, but ds1 came at 38 weeks so to me being 40 weeks felt like 2weeks overdue this time. At 38 weeks I was trying everthing my mind could think of to encourage labor to start if it was time- EPO, long walks, sex everyday, spicy food, RRL tea...but nothing more happened than some contractions everynight between 7-10 pm. Cervix stayed posterior and I wasn't dilating at all just 3 days prior to giving birth!

At some point about 4 days before labor started I just gave up trying and decided to relax and just take it easy and enjoy being pregnant still and reaffirmed in myself that the baby would come when ready. I had no contractions at all about 3 nights before labor came on- I thought it was strange but I decided to just stick with my no worries plan. The next night I felt like I was getting my period and the night after that I was in full blown labor. Things can change so quickly once your baby and your body decide its time. I really believe that just relaxing and getting out of the "thinking/rational" part of my brain helped allow labor to come on when it was time. I know that's hard to do though.

Ds2 was 9 pounds and I'm a small framed person- only 5'4 and 120lbs not pregnant- and I birthed him without any damage- not even a tear. Don't let that scare you- you can do it!!!

[applecore]

You can do it, Teeny! Your body will be able to birth your baby just fine. I'll bet you know that deep inside, but it's hard when doubt comes from outside sources. Also, in regards to Flapjack saying that her biggest baby was the most comfortable birth, it's not the first time I've heard women say that! Bigger baby doesn't necessarily mean harder/longer/more painful birth! It is what it is, and I know you'll produce a baby that your body can handle.

[AlwaysByMySide]

I have no advice, because I always end up in the hospital with a pit drip, but I just wanted to add some more words of encouragement. I did go late with my first (9 pounds, 41 weeks; just a skid mark, no tearing or anything), so I know how it feels to be "late".

Just wanted to send and tell you to do what feels right TO YOU. Hang in there!!

[AlwaysByMySide]

I have no advice, because I always end up in the hospital with a pit drip, but I just wanted to add some more words of encouragement. I did go late with my first (9 pounds, 41 weeks; just a skid mark, no tearing or anything), so I know how it feels to be "late".

Just wanted to send and tell you to do what feels right TO YOU. Hang in there!!

[Limabean1975]

Hi there. I just stumbled upon this thread. What beautiful words of wisdom from other posters. I just want to add my encouragement: I am a small woman; at 41 weeks I was 135 pounds. I birthed a beautiful 9lb14oz boy without any tearing...my body was ready to open up for him; yours will be too.

[Mary-Beth]

You can birth a 10lbs baby. It doesn't matter if this is your first baby or not. I wish your midwife were being more supportive with this point.
Also, I'm not sure how she is guessing the baby's size. Just feeling with hands is not super reliable. (neither is ultrasound for that matter)
Otherwise, sounds like a great midwife but I just wish for you to KNOW plenty of first time mother's birth 10 lbs baby's (and baby's with large heads, which a 10 lbs baby may or may not even have.) You can do this!

Anyway, I've been to 42 weeks and I know how hard it can be. Find someway to just relax and make peace with the baby's birth day. (I know it's hard but I also know it can be done.) Let your body and your baby show you the way. You will grow a baby until your body and your baby are ready. This is an exciting transition for baby going from this inner world to the breathing world...it will happen at the perfect moment. Letting it happen on it's own makes labor easier for you and for baby.

[Sandrine]

Sending you labor and birth vibes~~~~~~~~~~~

[Teenytoona]

You all are soo encouraging!! Thank you so very much! It has really helped reading what you've written - I'm especially thankful to you folks who went long and/or had big babies. How encouraging. I know I can do, I mean my sister even had ( a rather long) pitocin augementation with her first baby and he was nine pounds, she only had a little tearing, so I know inside I can do it! I think I'm thinking on it way too much. So last night Mr Toona made a lovely little dinner and we watched Shaun of the Dead, for a few fabulous laughs... I love that movie , esp the part where they're beating the one zombie with cue sticks to that Queen song I can never remember the name of... It was good to just sit and laugh (in spite of having to pee ever other scene).

Today's 42+1, my MW comes over today to do the cervical stimulation, which all in all I think I'm more comfortable with than membrane stripping. Anyone know what that feels like? I'm assuming it won't be the most comfy thing, but still tolerable. Hopefully that will stir up the action.

[mishaj]

Hi Mama,

Just wanted to send you some easy labor vibes and good wishes for the MW visit today- I hope it all goes well and stirs up some action. You are doing wonderfully and trust your body and your baby- you can do this!

I know when I felt stalled- a lavender bath helped- and talking to the baby, letting her know I was ready for her and it was safe for her to come. I knew I had some unresolved mother issues and a shift of perspective helped and I went into labor that night. When things slowed again- blue and black cohash, and cotton root sped things up again. Also the images of opening and embracing helped- oh- and walking, hip circles and climbing stairs.

Oh- and the biggest thing that my MW still reminds me of...patience. I think this is the hardest one of all, trusting the babe will come when ready.

Lots of love to you dear mama,
xox
Mj

[flapjack]

If you liked Shaun, try Hot Fuzz as well.