Question: acknowledge anniversary of death of spouse, or not? - Page 2

[applejuice]

Yes, acknowledge it. It is important for those left behind to know that their loved one is never forgotten, that their memory lives on with others.

In the religion I chose for myself, there is an annual acknowledgement of the death: a yahrzeit. I make sure there are ten people there in the morning to gather to say "kaddish" for him, on an annual basis. And there is a plaque with his name on it in the sanctuary with a light next to it that is turned on once a year.

[LaLaLaLa]

I always call on the anniversary of a significant death, but I let the other person take the lead in whether we talk about it or not. I call my widowed grandmother both on the date that was my grandfather's birthday as well as the anniversary of his death. I tell her that I just called because I was thinking of her and wanted to let her know. Often she fills up these conversations with talk about other things, only mentioning my grandfather toward the end of our phone call.

Some people want to talk about their loss on these days, while others prefer not to dwell on their sorrow, or others feel their loss is too private to talk about. However, I don't know anyone who wouldn't appreciate a phone call just to let them know you are thinking of them.