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we're not good enough to play with... - Page 3

post #41 of 65
Originally Posted by hookahgirl View Post
Why would you even want to be friends with people that freakin rude? Give it a little more time, you will find both parents and kids that get along with you and yourr dd!!
I say screw 'um!
The other moms could've canceled for real reasons. I mean, rain in winter can make for nasty road conditions for one thing.

That one mom though, yeah, wouldn't even bother trying. Technically she gets points for honesty, but she'd get just as many if she'd been more polite and said "I'm sorry, I'm just nervous about your neighborhood. I'm sure it's just fine, but I'm going to have to cancel. Again, I'm really sorry for having this attitude and I know it's entirely my fault. I hope you don't hold it against me too much and will still come to playdates at my house?"
post #42 of 65
i think for me - what is suspecious is that they all waited to cancle - AFTER the notice with the address went out. Granted - you might have had 1 or 2 have a Dr appt or something, but ALL.


I'm ss mama. My mom's groups does this to me all the time i only havent dropped it cause a few of the moms are awesome - it is only a couple that make it terrible.
post #43 of 65
Wow. This makes me so sad. And brings me back. I didn't live in a house until I was 12. We always lived in travel trailers and mobile homes until then because my dad was a contractor and we moved so much. In first grade we had just moved to a new town and my birthday came around and we invited all the girls in my class and only 3 girls came. I was a very sensitive child (okay, still am) and at the time I wondered if where we lived had something to do with why they didn't come. I was very conscious of being 'different' because of where we lived, but I would never acknowledge that to my parents because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. It was an enormous burden for me to carry because I felt ashamed of myself for feeling embarrassed. You've gotten really great advice about handling this. The only thing I would add is being aware if your dd suspects the truth and if so please don't let her feel she's got to carry her feelings on her own. You're a great mama.
post #44 of 65
Holy moly, mama! I can't believe how hurtful that must be. Hopefully most of the moms had legitimate reasons and were not canceling due to where you live (which, by the way, you should not be ashamed of--you're providing a home for your family!).

My dd is 4, and you can bet your bottom dollar that we'd have been there if we were invited. Well, barring the flu that we've all had.
post #45 of 65
That just sucks.
What did the moms say?
post #46 of 65
I know I'm jumping in late, but I couldn't read without giving you and your DD a big . I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Any update?
post #47 of 65

Any updates?
post #48 of 65
Originally Posted by prairieo View Post
It's not a Montessori issue at all. It's just a mindset, and I don't know how to get around it exactly, but I can tell you that people who can't get past their hangups about possessions and get REAL about LIFE that REALLY MATTERS need to go back to preschool, and Montessori would be perfect for these types of people.
I'm sorry for this experience. Consider it a blessing and get your dd involved in other groups. Infact if you were to say something say "Thank you for inspiring me to expand daughter's acceptance and awareness others." or something.

I agree. I live in a very rich and snobby area, it used to be a nice city. I don't want traditional schooling for my kids, but I don't want to be surrounded by those who can afford private schools. It's better to be somewhere where you can feel at ease and feel good. Luckily we got into a public waldorf school, where 20% of the students have to be below and certain income level. I'm sad that kids are being taught to judge. But I also know that kids usually end up not wanting to be like their parents. I stay away from montessori, because a lot of wealthy parents in the area want to push academics for their kids, and also want a bit of alternative in there, so they choose montessori. In this area anyway.

For the record, my son was born in a mobile home.
post #49 of 65
Thread Starter 
hi mamas
it's been a busy week and i have tried to put this behind us. the director put a little write up in each check in/out signature page. The little write up was about Montessori and Christianity and how it all ties together. That diversity makes us unique, etc.
Also this Sunday the kids did a little thing at the sermon in celebration of Lutheran month so the father said some additional things about diversity, tolerance, etc. We're all of different religions but the children get exposed to Christianity and the church in a general matter and every few months we're invited for a special sermon. It's not mandatory.
The few moms from our little playgroup were there. They came up and apologized in person about last weekend (made some lame excuse but at least they apologized) and wanted to know if we wanted to go to pizza with them. i bit my lip and said yes. we had a nice time and the moms asked if we could do another playgroup at my place. i took that as a chance to explain where we live, and that it's mostly single working families. about the neighborhood and location. i acknowledge the concern of safety and emphasized that i would not live in a place where i didn't feel safe as a single woman and single mom with a preschooler. so we have a date set for next sat! i believe in second chances but i'm not holding my breath!

thanks again for all your support ans sharing your stories. means a lot to us...

ps i would drop out of the group but i hang out with them cuz of dd. those kids are her very close friends and i'm not sure how i would explain it to dd...and there are few nice moms...
post #50 of 65
Well I hope they all actually show up this time!!! Big hugs to you. I grew up in trailer parks and my mom is so bitted about having to live there with my father that when DH and I bought our first house (a totally custom double-wide with a jaccuzi tub and all the extras), she'd sneer every time I'd say house and say "you mean your TRAILER?" Yeah.
post #51 of 65
I don't have any advice to offer, you have receievd very good advice anyway. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry that you and your daughter had to experience this. You are providing you child with a loving, safe home.

post #52 of 65
Wow. I am proud of you! That took real strength, to stand up like that, and you did it - and you were gracious about it, too. You did a fine thing for yourself and your daughter. I am sure those mothers will remember this for the rest of their lives, and that every now and again they'll think about it. In the end I bet at least one of them will be grateful to you for having done it and shown her something she needed to see.

Anyway, whatever happens with these moms, don't you ever let anyone treat you badly or make you feel bad on account of money. 90% of it is plain thoughtlessness on people's parts, and the rest of it, you seem to deal with quite effectively. In the end you know what you do for your daughter, and she will too.
post #53 of 65
You handled that so well! I'm so glad it worke out that way. You are an inspiration to me, putting up with these um...women for your dd's sake. You rock.
post #54 of 65
YOu are an inspiration mama!! Wow!
post #55 of 65
I think that is so sad what happened to you Some people that would treat you this way, I wouldn't even worry about. People who truly are your friends dont care where you live, in a mansion, or a mobile home.
They sound like very shallow people, and I dont think I would want my child around such snobs. As long as your home is clean and your child has love that is all that matters. Giving you a big hug, and hope your daughter finds some decent people to play with, that will love coming to your home, that you should be so proud of
post #56 of 65
Thread Starter 
well sat went well. we had pizza, went to the park and came over to my hood for snacks. i think it was an eye opening experience to them. they realized that all sort of people live in trailer parks and they're not all lazy, drugged out, unemployed, etc people. i know they are a lot of trailer parks where in town we live and most of them are run down. so the image is not great. also, i dont think many of these women ever experienced too much hardship in their lives. so relating to my situation/circumstance is difficult for them.
hope everyone had a great weekend...
post #57 of 65
I am so glad this situation turned out well. I really think you handled it wonderfully.
post #58 of 65
Eccomama, that's so great! If you lived near us, we'd come over to play.
post #59 of 65
Aww hugs mama. Your post made me cry. That is horrible. I am so sorry that happened.
post #60 of 65
BTW I just read your update! Wow I am so proud of you. You handled everything beautifully! Great job!
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