The March 2008 Infertility ONE Thread - Page 6

[kJad29]

I guess I need to get over here and be with you ladies...

My name is Kemi. DH(34) and I(31) have been ttc for 20 months. This is our 21st month. Just found after a second failed Fertell test that DH has low sperm count. We're going to schedule an SA ASAP so that we can figure what the next step will be. I hope that we can fix it herbally/naturally and have a natural conception, but at this point I doubt it because he has been taking zinc/copper for over 3 months now. The last time we took the Fertell test was 4 months ago and there has been no change with things. I wish we had gone to get a formal all those months ago, but we really wanted to see if we could help him out with that.

As for me, I'm completely normal. I ovulate every month like clockwork and have very healthy periods. The only thing that's in the way of our having children is his sperm not being present to fertilize my egg. So can I join you ladies?

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by mermay1677

So, the plan for next cycle is to use injectables (either follistem or gonal-f) for up to 10 days (starting w/CD3)... plus an IUI.... any words of wisdom from anyone who has been down this path????

Hi mermay,

I am on my 3rd cycle of Follistim 150 mg and an hcg trigger. The re gave me a lot of info : and a dvd explaining the medicine and shots. That was really felpful for me and dh.

I use a cartridge pen for the follisitm shots and that makes them easy. In the begining I was nervous and kept the chart explaining each step out for a long time. But now it is just a piece of cake. Dh has done most of my shots and I have done a few. I tried doing them in the bathroom but find the easiest place to be in the kitchen. That is probably due to the follistim being right there since it has to be refrigerated. I just have a spot in a cabinet where I keep the essentials (cotton balls, alcohol and cleaning stuff).

I have not noticed any side effects like mood swings or emotions. But I used to have 28 -30 day cycles. With the Follistim it is 24-25 cd. So af for me has shown up 11-12 dpiui. Even when I was using Crinone (progesterone) af showed up 12 dpiui. I am not sure why this happens. I have come to look at it as knowing the outcome sooner so I do not spend any more money on pg tests .

Hth's, and let me know if you have questions!

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by kJad29

I guess I need to get over here and be with you ladies...

My name is Kemi. DH(34) and I(31) have been ttc for 20 months. This is our 21st month. Just found after a second failed Fertell test that DH has low sperm count. We're going to schedule an SA ASAP so that we can figure what the next step will be. I hope that we can fix it herbally/naturally and have a natural conception, but at this point I doubt it because he has been taking zinc/copper for over 3 months now. The last time we took the Fertell test was 4 months ago and there has been no change with things. I wish we had gone to get a formal all those months ago, but we really wanted to see if we could help him out with that.

As for me, I'm completely normal. I ovulate every month like clockwork and have very healthy periods. The only thing that's in the way of our having children is his sperm not being present to fertilize my egg. So can I join you ladies?

Hi Kemi,

Welcome

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by songbird45

Yesterday my mother told me that I shouldn't get "stressed out" about all this, because if I'm stressed I'll never get pregnant. What do you say to stupid comments like this? I told her that I am not stressed, but I have to be mindful of everything so that I do what I'm supposed to do correctly and so that I am informed about potential side effects, etc. But I really didn't appreciate that comment. If she wasn't my mother I wouldn't ever tell her anything.

I say "thanks Mum - wow this is really nice tea - where did you buy it?" LOL. Same thing I say when anyone offers me mainstream parenting advice ;-)

Seriously, she's saying it to be caring - even though not stressing during a cycle is simply laughable (I was a blubbering mess last cycle - word to the WISE do not cycle over Christmas... especially when in-laws are visiting... LOL).

I told my parents about my first cycle. Not about the second. Actually, I quite liked not telling them. Saved a lot of questions and sympathy I didn't want. I wanted the support the first time, but not now.

[poetgirl]

Wow! The first graduate! Well done, Green Flower! Congratulations!!
I hope you have a happy 9 months!

Do you mind me asking, did you have an IUI? I can't remember but I seem to recall you moved to IUI after m/f was found-is that right?

Boy, something kind of nutty happened today. I got a message on my cell phone that said " This is your daughter, call me back as soon as possible!"
Ahhhhhh! Then she called again and said "This is your daughter, I just called to say I love you." Then I tried to call her as I do want her to call her actual mother and I don't think I can handle repeated calls from my "daughter." Then she called me back and kind of wailed, "MOTHER???" It was surreal. I think I finally convinced her I am not actually her mother. But I wish I was someone's mother...

Welcome to Kemi, Mara, Kristen, Kitty Paws. I am sorry for the rough roads that brought you here. I hope you find the support you need and the end of ttc-life very soon.

[crazyrunningmama]

Originally Posted by songbird45

Yesterday my mother told me that I shouldn't get "stressed out" about all this, because if I'm stressed I'll never get pregnant. What do you say to stupid comments like this? I told her that I am not stressed, but I have to be mindful of everything so that I do what I'm supposed to do correctly and so that I am informed about potential side effects, etc. But I really didn't appreciate that comment. If she wasn't my mother I wouldn't ever tell her anything.

Yikes. My mother is the Queen of Saying the Wrong Thing, so I know where you are coming from. I love her, but for myself and the sake of our relationship, she knows nothing about our infertility journey or my m/c. She just knows it took me a long time to get pregnant with my dd. I have told very few people about our IF issues and actually I started to regret even telling people we were trying to get pg in the first place.
I am just finishing "Conquering Infertility" by Alice D. Domar and I am finding it really helpful. It's about the mind/body connection and coping, no matter how IF turns out for you.

[crazyrunningmama]

I know that there are lots of reasons for to NOT wean before starting IVF, but for our own, well thought out reasons, I am weaning my 21 1/2 month old dd before I start on the road to another IVF cycle. So please don't tell me I don't have to do it. Today was our last nursing session and I cried and cried. I know many of you think I'm crazy for not settling for my one wonderful child. This is so hard, trying to decide what is best for her and for me (child led weaning or a sibling? wean or lie to the RE? wean or risk having a cycle fail and then kicking myself and blaming myself for NOT weaning?). There is no way to know what is the right path and what I will want to look back on as the best decision. I only tell a couple of friends about our IF issues and only one has kids, so I have no one to cry to about this who will understand. I don't want to miss my chance to have another child. AND I am terrified of going through the craziness of IVF again. Especially if it fails and I weaned for nothing. Around and around it goes. Thanks for reading.

[songbird45]

crazyrunningmama . 21 months is a long time! You should be proud of your accomplishment. (And, of course, take the time to grieve what's lost, if that's what you need.) We all make decisions with the information available to us. Don't look back, don't feel guilty. You're doing the best you can.

[poetgirl]

Originally Posted by songbird45

crazyrunningmama . 21 months is a long time! You should be proud of your accomplishment. (And, of course, take the time to grieve what's lost, if that's what you need.) We all make decisions with the information available to us. Don't look back, don't feel guilty. You're doing the best you can.

: That was well said Songbird. These are difficult imperfect decisions to make. Crazyrunningmama

Kristenc, Congrats on lowering your FSH so quickly! It's great how proactive you've been. I hope the ivf cycle is successful right away.
How often have you been doing the acupuncture? I ask because I did it for about 6 months but I could only afford to go once or twice a month. I'm thinking I might eat $1000 and go every week or twice a week even for 2 months alongside clomid/iui.

[mermay1677]

Originally Posted by Seedlings

Hi mermay,

I am on my 3rd cycle of Follistim 150 mg and an hcg trigger. The re gave me a lot of info : and a dvd explaining the medicine and shots. That was really felpful for me and dh.

I use a cartridge pen for the follisitm shots and that makes them easy. In the begining I was nervous and kept the chart explaining each step out for a long time. But now it is just a piece of cake. Dh has done most of my shots and I have done a few. I tried doing them in the bathroom but find the easiest place to be in the kitchen. That is probably due to the follistim being right there since it has to be refrigerated. I just have a spot in a cabinet where I keep the essentials (cotton balls, alcohol and cleaning stuff).

I have not noticed any side effects like mood swings or emotions. But I used to have 28 -30 day cycles. With the Follistim it is 24-25 cd. So af for me has shown up 11-12 dpiui. Even when I was using Crinone (progesterone) af showed up 12 dpiui. I am not sure why this happens. I have come to look at it as knowing the outcome sooner so I do not spend any more money on pg tests .

Hth's, and let me know if you have questions!

Thanks for the info!!! My pharmacy just called and they are shipping the drugs & supplies today, so I will have them tomorrow. Now I just have to wait for AF to show up....

On previous medicated cycles I've always ovulated and AF showed on CD31-33... but I didn't ovulate this cycle on femara, so I don't know if she will show on her own or not. I have read about parsley tea bring on AF in as little as 24 hours, so I'm going to give it a shot and start drinking it tonight. Maybe I won't have to wait until CD35 to start provera.... ug....

Songbird45 ~ Most people just don't get it... I've learned to just ignore stupid advice like that (and my fav is just adopt then you'll get pg... like adopting a child will make me ovulate?????? whatever).... I hope it helps to know that at least WE understand and you can always come here for the support you need...

crazyrunningmama ~ it must be hard to make this decision... I don't have a child yet, but I so look forward to breastfeeding!!! But it sounds like you have made a very well informed/thought out decision, and I think you will find total support here... good luck with your IVF cycle!!!

[soulshine]

This is so hard, trying to decide what is best for her and for me (child led weaning or a sibling? wean or lie to the RE? wean or risk having a cycle fail and then kicking myself and blaming myself for NOT weaning?). There is no way to know what is the right path and what I will want to look back on as the best decision.

crazyrunningmomma,
please try not to judge yourself... the worst thing is to live your life or make decisions based on what 'they' say or may be thinking...
only YOU can know what is best for you and your family.
it is very easy to judge someone else's circumstances... but no one can know what it is like for YOU until they have walked in your shoes.
it is OK to do what you are doing. try not to worry about what anyone else will think. its hard, because like you say, its a toss up sometimes and it is hard to know what the 'right' thing to do is. but in no way does what you are doing sound harmful to your daughter. someone could give you a mouthful about it i am sure, but they probably don't know what it is like to have IF issues and have to make decisions with an entirely different set of 'realities'.
it must have been a very hard thing for you to do, and i am sorry... (((HUG)))

many times, IF causes you to make compromises that you wouldn't ever want to be making, but the thing is the choice has been taken away, so you can't judge it all on the 'normal'. some women can have a.r.t and then immediately step out of the interventive model, and it works our just peachy for them, that's womderful for them... but if you need lots of monitering during the a.r.t pregnancy, or lots of intervention during birth, there is no reason to feel like you have failed some grandious fantasy of what the 'perfect pregnancy' or 'perfect birth' is. i know i am going to have a planned c-section at 39 weeks, even though i do not want it. i am sure i could gather a cheerleading group of women who would say 'don't do it you don't have to don't do it have a natural birth and so on and so on' but the thing is, it is just too personal. for me, the risk and loss that i have seen in my own life tell me to let this 'ideal' go and make this compromise. sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do and the critics can stuff it.

[soulshine]

*

[airmide_m]

Oh! subbing so I can get caught up and post later! I'm a fairly regular in the 12+ thread. We're dealing with male factor right now.

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by soulshine

many times, IF causes you to make compromises that you wouldn't ever want to be making, but the thing is the choice has been taken away, so you can't judge it all on the 'normal'. some women can have a.r.t and then immediately step out of the interventive model, and it works our just peachy for them, that's womderful for them... but if you need lots of monitoring during the a.r.t pregnancy, or lots of intervention during birth, there is no reason to feel like you have failed some grandious fantasy of what the 'perfect pregnancy' or 'perfect birth' is. i know i am going to have a planned c-section at 39 weeks, even though i do not want it. i am sure i could gather a cheerleading group of women who would say 'don't do it you don't have to don't do it have a natural birth and so on and so on' but the thing is, it is just too personal. for me, the risk and loss that i have seen in my own life tell me to let this 'ideal' go and make this compromise. sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do and the critics can stuff it.

Amen!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by crazyrunningmama

I know that there are lots of reasons for to NOT wean before starting IVF, but for our own, well thought out reasons, I am weaning my 21 1/2 month old dd before I start on the road to another IVF cycle. ... Thanks for reading.

You have all my support. I understand. I've been in your shoes, and it's an almost impossible decision either way. There's nothing selfish about what you're doing, and you have given your DD a wonderful gift. And you're giving her another by trying to supply her with a sibling. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm sorry any of us do

[mischievium]

Welcome Kemi and Airmide!

[kJad29]

Thanks for the welcome. May we all have very short stays here....

At this point I'm feeling much better about this. I just had an acupuncture appointment with my TCM doctor and I not only don't have to go back for another 6 weeks, he's completely stopped me on the herbs because I'm so well balanced and healthy. He also said that according to Chinese medicine that once spring starts DH's sperm count will improve into the summer. We're still of course getting an SA done in the next few weeks. I'll be doing an HSG and getting blood work to confirm what I already know: I'm very healthy, fertile, and ready to go. I just need my DH's sperm. I've warmed up to the idea of getting an IUI done. At first I thought of it as a worst nightmare for me because it wasn't a natural way of getting pregnant, but I simply see it as a helping hand now and I know that since I O every month like clockwork, I won't need to take any medications. I'm actually excited now because I think I see it....It's a light at the end of that tunnel.

[crazyrunningmama]

Thanks so much everyone for your support!!!

[jeannineb]

Hi, can I join? I have just posted an intro thread on the board and I thought I'd come over here and put myself on the *ONE thread*...

So you can read my whole intro over there, but for now I am...

jeannineb TTC #2 no official diagnosis (well, except secondary infertility!) with our first appointment April 9th. Trying not to stress out and hoping for a short stay here!

[hope4light]

Originally Posted by soulshine

[I]U
many times, IF causes you to make compromises that you wouldn't ever want to be making, but the thing is the choice has been taken away, so you can't judge it all on the 'normal'. some women can have a.r.t and then immediately step out of the interventive model, and it works our just peachy for them, that's womderful for them... but if you need lots of monitering during the a.r.t pregnancy, or lots of intervention during birth, there is no reason to feel like you have failed some grandious fantasy of what the 'perfect pregnancy' or 'perfect birth' is. i know i am going to have a planned c-section at 39 weeks, even though i do not want it. i am sure i could gather a cheerleading group of women who would say 'don't do it you don't have to don't do it have a natural birth and so on and so on' but the thing is, it is just too personal. for me, the risk and loss that i have seen in my own life tell me to let this 'ideal' go and make this compromise. sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do and the critics can stuff it.

I think this is one of the best things I have heard someone say in a LONG time... Thank you Soulshine!!