The March 2008 Infertility ONE Thread - Page 3

[barose]

Originally Posted by gemasita

Wow, this is a busy place.

Thank you everyone for the good wishes and crossed crossables.

We got our call and it was a BFN. At this point, I can't imagine ever getting a call about anything different.

So...I am not going anywhere any time soon.

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by gemasita

Wow, this is a busy place.

Thank you everyone for the good wishes and crossed crossables.

We got our call and it was a BFN. At this point, I can't imagine ever getting a call about anything different.

So...I am not going anywhere any time soon.

Oh Jamie, I am so sorry.

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario

Wow - you're really on top of this stuff. This http://www.urologyedinburgh.co.uk/new_page_61.htm is a nice basic site. My DH doesn't have any cystic fibrosis mutations as far as we know (did genetic testing). We have no idea why this happened.

Well, I just thought, there can be so many reasons why a couple struggles to conceive that it would be helpful to provide links so that everyone can learn, thanks for the link!

Originally Posted by laralee16

Well, my blood work is now normal, when it was not before.

That's great, Laura! I put "PCOS (in remission)" is that okay?

Originally Posted by LiamsMommy31905

Can I hop on board?

Hop away!

Originally Posted by ourdomicile

poetgirl: I hear you on the friends pregnant thing. Since we've been trying most months its been at least one baby per month! I'm finding it so hard to be joyous/happy for each announcement and new birth as we take this journey.

This is part of the reason I wanted to start this thread in this forum. Sometimes, especially lately, I find it hard to be in the regular TTC forum without getting upset. I mean, I'm happy for others when they get their BFP, but I'm also sad/ angry for me.

Originally Posted by ourdomicile

mischievium & seedlings: For recommendations for fruits/veggies and wholefoods try out the http://101cookbooks.com website. She's got a great book too called Super Natural Cooking that is full of whole grain goodies. They're really delicious recipes and easy to make. But I won't go too far off topic into food land

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out!

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario

We had several friends and family members "lap" us too. One of DH's cousins brought her very new boyfriend to our wedding. They married and had 2 kids - the second born two years before DD was conceived. It was very, very difficult to be as thrilled for them as we knew we should be. Especially when MIL started telling people that the reason we weren't pg was because I was too invested in my career... but I digress...!

You MIL said what , wow, how hurtful.

Originally Posted by baturay

Can I jump in here too?

Jump on in!

[mischievium]

As for me... my OB finally got back to me about my 7DPO Progesterone level and it was 9.4, indicating that I did O, but the level is "sub-optimal," she said they like to see it above 15. She wants me to repeat the test next cycle, since progesterone can really vary. My DH had a repeat SA and basic hormone levels drawn 10 days ago, we hadn't heard back from the urologist, so finally DH called them and had to leave a message and today the nurse called back to say that they had the results, but that the doctor was out of town and would call to discuss the results next week. I'm not sure what to think about that. The former nurse in me is worried because you always make the doctor give any bad/ marginally bad news or anything other than everything's fine. I want to call back and be like, listen lady, just give me the numbers, I have google, I'll figure out what they mean. Did I mention that I hate waiting?

[kristenok18]

Oh, Jamie, I'm so sorry.

[kristenok18]

Originally Posted by mischievium

As for me... my OB finally got back to me about my 7DPO Progesterone level and it was 9.4, indicating that I did O, but the level is "sub-optimal," she said they like to see it above 15. She wants me to repeat the test next cycle, since progesterone can really vary. My DH had a repeat SA and basic hormone levels drawn 10 days ago, we hadn't heard back from the urologist, so finally DH called them and had to leave a message and today the nurse called back to say that they had the results, but that the doctor was out of town and would call to discuss the results next week. I'm not sure what to think about that. The former nurse in me is worried because you always make the doctor give any bad/ marginally bad news or anything other than everything's fine. I want to call back and be like, listen lady, just give me the numbers, I have google, I'll figure out what they mean. Did I mention that I hate waiting?

I'm sorry your numbers came back low. And how frustrating that they wouldn't give you the numbers from the SA!! I hope everything is alright with that.


I started provera yesterday because my ovaries were doing absolutely nothing. Every year around this time I have a "supercycle", which lasts for eons (well, 60+ days). I had been doing opks, and usually by now there's at least a faint line that gradually gets darker. But not this time. I had an SHG done last week, which was not as bad as the HSG but worse than I thought it would be, and I finally stopped bleeding from that 2 days ago. When my dr called to let know the lab results from my SHG, she said I could go ahead and start provera instead of just waiting.

I'm sure my unwillingness to let nature run her course is that I'm getting closer and closer to my edd from my m/c (Mother's Day), which just happens to be 2 weeks after my sil's edd. I got the invitation for her shower in the mail today, and I just about had a panic attack. At least I'm 1000 miles away and won't have to put on a game face and attend the dang thing. Part of me wants to keep pushing, keep trying new things, and part of me wants to be DONE. Concentrate on ds and dh and quit pretending I still have hope of having another child. Unfortunately, neither one of the 2 sides has any intention of budging from their battle positions.

I hate infertility. to all of us tonight who are wounded and exhausted from traveling this long, lonely road.

[laralee16]

Originally Posted by mischievium

That's great, Laura! I put "PCOS (in remission)" is that okay?

That works

I have no clue how or why it went away. My cycles started 4 weeks after my son was born, and they have come every month sense. I used to have problems with my thyroid, and that is gone too. I'm glad, I just wish I knew why I still have no conceived.

[Seedlings]

Jamie,

I am so sorry

[Seedlings]

ourdomicle - Thanks so much for the website. I will be checking it out .

[poetgirl]

Originally Posted by kristenok18

I had an SHG done last week, which was not as bad as the HSG but worse than I thought it would be, and I finally stopped bleeding from that 2 days ago. When my dr called to let know the lab results from my SHG, she said I could go ahead and start provera instead of just waiting.

Kristen, I wanted to check up on you and see how that SHG was (I responded to your thread). I'm sorry it was painful. I thought so too. These procedures are pretty hard to go through. And v. hard to feel sexy after something like that. I am also sorry about your sil's edd being soooo close to your date. When it comes to IF, I find certain dates, milestones, holidays so rough and this one sounds like it hurts right in that very sensitive spot. Hugs back to you
It's really a shame that either of the two options (continuing, giving up) are equally painful.

To all who responded in commiseration about ALL the preg. women in their lives ... Yeah left in the dust, I hear that. It's like so many women around me are moving forward so easily and I'm hitting a big brick wall. I esp. feel it's hard because by this stage you know soooo much about reproductive health, women's bodies, intricacies that most of my preg. friends know nothing about. In most cases, I took the best care of myself and these post-partiers, smokers, etc. are apparently fertile. Such ironies make you feel conspired against, but I guess it's important to remember "no one's in charge making all this happen" and IF just isn't a reflection of you as a person. It's just really not. Hugs and more hugs, still. Thanks for understanding.

[biomama]

Can I join in? It's so hard to read all of your stories, I'm so sorry that this has been so hard for all of you. I wish everyone here a fertile future

We haven't been TTC for very long, but we got a pretty bad SA for DH this week, so we are being referred to REI specialists for IUI. I'm hoping we can get an appointment soon, because I feel like the unassisted cycles have no hope... DH and I are both really down this weekend. He is taking the SA result really hard...

Even though it hasn't been long for us, I already feel left in the dust... 3 friends have announced their pregnant during our TTC time. And it seems like every day my friends ask about when we're going to have a baby, and that we should have one soon, etc. We haven't told anyone we're TTC, so they don't know how hard it is to hear that, and I have to pretend that it's not painful. I want to shout, we're trying dammit, it's not that easy!

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I've been asked 3 times in the past week "are you going to have more kids"? "Are there more babies in your future" and "Any baby news"?

To be honest, it doesn't bug me that much. We have a DD, so someone who doesn't know us well wouldn't immediately think we have fertility issues. And I'm kind of over being hurt by it after almost 10 years of fertility issues. But I just want to say to them "Don't you know how hurtful those questions can be?" Seems a bit mean when they're just trying to be nice though - they're all mothers and want to share the joy.

[gemasita]

Jennifer - I could have typed your exact post. I also ALWAYS feel left behind and you are right about us knowing so much and it is strange what many women don't know.

I am just so depressed right now. I told DH that it is just so hard to want to be in a certain place in your life and just not be able to do anything to get there. I mean, what else can we do? I am trying to get back up on the horse as fast as I can but I am just so tired of it all...

[Stacymom]

Hi everyone- I'm glad to see that this thread exists.

I'm Stacy, we're ttc#3 for going on two years now. In fact, I got my iud out two years ago this month. I conceived in December of 06, then miscarried in March of 07- my miscarraige anniversary is a few days away. Yuck. At least that will be the last big anniversary from the miscarraige.

I was recently diganosed with pcos, and I'm on 1500 of metformin and am on my 3rd cycle of clomid. First two cycles I had no repsonse- so we upped it to 150 mg and I'm thinking I ovulated on day 17, which is pretty darn early for me. I'm seeing a different RE than I started with, and I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with him, but we'll see. He didn't see a need for monitoring on clomid, so I don't know for sure if mature follicles were produced, but my temps look pretty convincing. I think that after this, we'll only do one more cycle of clomid and then maybe a cycle or two of femara before we call it quits for a while. We just don't have the money for injectable drugs right now, so we're only doing baseline treatments. I work with a midwife that does at home insems, so once she finishes training, we may do some insems in the summer or the fall. (Please, do not let it go on that long!)

For the person who asked about metformin- its been a rocky road for me. I found it really helps to watch my carbs- I can't eat anything white. No white bread, pasta, tortillas, rice, etc. I also can't have any refined sugar- they all lead to horrendous stomach pains, bloating and gas! I have to eat every few hours or I start to get dizzy and spacey, and I find that I really need high protein meals and snacks. Its forcing me to eat better though, and that's a good thing.

And I feel you all on the babies everywhere. In 2007, there were no less than 30 babies born in my church. I live in a close knit neighborhood, and I've been lapped many times. I'm actually waiting for the next round of pregnancy announcements. Its hard to feel out of the loop- my kids are both school aged now, and most of my friends have babies and toddlers. There's a woman in my neighborhood that just announces that she's pregnant with triplets after one round of clomid. My dh started freaking out until I reminded him that I haven't even responded to clomid up to this point!

And, I work as a doula, and have been very busy the past few weeks- 3 babies in two weeks. I love what I do, and wouldn't trade it for anything. And I don't even feel jealous when I'm at births. But today, when I was cuddling a brand new little boy, the aching longing was incredible!

It will be so nice to have our own little home here. Love to everyone, and espcially to gemasita.

[Stacymom]

And here is the link to my chart. I missed a temp this morning because of a 6am "Mom's in labor" call. I actually broke through 98.0 this cycle- its been almost a year since that's happened! Hooray for small victories!

[mischievium]

Originally Posted by kristenok18

I'm sorry your numbers came back low. And how frustrating that they wouldn't give you the numbers from the SA!! I hope everything is alright with that.

Thanks, Kristin. I hope the provera does it's job for you-- 60+ days is a LONG time when your TTC (not that I need to tell you that). You're SIL is due 2 weeks after when you were supposed to be due? That's gotta be really hard, I'm so sorry .

Originally Posted by biomama

Can I join in? It's so hard to read all of your stories, I'm so sorry that this has been so hard for all of you. I wish everyone here a fertile future

We haven't been TTC for very long, but we got a pretty bad SA for DH this week, so we are being referred to REI specialists for IUI. I'm hoping we can get an appointment soon, because I feel like the unassisted cycles have no hope... DH and I are both really down this weekend. He is taking the SA result really hard...

Welcome, biomama! I felt the same exact way after my DH's first SA result (like we were wasting our time). And I think I will always remember the crestfallen look on his face when his Fertell test results were not good. I'm sorry you and your DH are having a tough weekend .

Originally Posted by Stacymom

And, I work as a doula, and have been very busy the past few weeks- 3 babies in two weeks. I love what I do, and wouldn't trade it for anything. And I don't even feel jealous when I'm at births. But today, when I was cuddling a brand new little boy, the aching longing was incredible!

It will be so nice to have our own little home here. Love to everyone, and espcially to gemasita.

Welcome to you, too, Stacy! Up until the end of December I was a NICU nurse and I was also never really jealous of the families we worked with, but I found it was really hard on me when my coworkers would announce their pregnancies (of which there always seemed to be 3-4 pregnant at any one time).

Originally Posted by gemasita

Jennifer - I could have typed your exact post. I also ALWAYS feel left behind and you are right about us knowing so much and it is strange what many women don't know.

I am just so depressed right now. I told DH that it is just so hard to want to be in a certain place in your life and just not be able to do anything to get there. I mean, what else can we do? I am trying to get back up on the horse as fast as I can but I am just so tired of it all...

Super big giant hugs to you and your DH right now, Jaime .

[gemasita]

Thank you for all of the hugs everyone. I am still feeling so down.

I don't tend to feel jealous of my doula clients or Hypnobabies students. In fact, I don't think about my own situation much when I am "working" for some reason. It's really friends that are tough. And none of mine really understand so I always get the (what feel like) very insensitive pregnancy announcements.

[LiamsMommy31905]

Jamie - I am so sorry.

Just wanted to share a story from yesterday...we had a huge party for my grandfather's 90th birthday at a historic inn on the water. It was beautiful. I saw my relatives that I haven't seen in years - which was really nice.

I had no less than 4 people ask me if I was newly pregnant. The one comment that broke my heart was - "Oh - I hear you've got another baby on the way!" Um...no. We lost that baby on Christmas day. Ugh. My uncle felt unbelievably bad after that and I obviously can't fault him for not being kept in the family gossip loop.

It just sucked.

We'll all get through this together, girls.

[ourdomicile]

biomama I felt exactly the same way after our first crappy SA too. DH came home from the Dr and told me "good news! It's not you!" which he very sweetly thought would help me out, as I had been beating myself up about not being PG yet. Nice try sweety, but not going to cut it. Since traditional medicine will basically do nothing for low SA other than tell him to wear boxers instead of briefs, I felt like we were doomed. He's been taking supplements and doing some acupuncture though, and we saw an immediate improvement on his next test 2 months later.

Leah: I'm so sorry about your family experience yesteryda. That is so hard to go through. I went to a big xmas party a few weeks after my MC in 06 and had to leave in a panic after someone pointed out that I was the only woman not pregnant or with a small child at the party. Of course she didn't know I had just lost a pregnancy, but still I just choked. I pretty much darted for the door without really saying good bye. Pretty nasty stuff.

We're going for our first IUI this morning. I got my positive OPK this morning, which I have to say was a huge relief. After so many BFNs with pregnancy tests I felt like I would just never see a positive test, even though I know I'm ovulating. Anyway : all goes ok tomorrow. I'm mostly worried about DH having to try to "produce" for an 8am appointment. We still need to figure out how we're going to do that and get his daughter (my stepdaughter) to school tomorrow am. Hoping her mom can help out. Why does this need to be so complicated?! Anyway, for all who need them and I'll just be trying to relax and picture some happy fertilization tomorrow.

[biomama]

ourdomicile, glad to hear supplements and acupuncture are helping your DH. What supplements are they? I am force-feeding DH men's multivitamins, which have folic acid and zinc... other than that I sometimes give him selenium and fish oil (which I take daily). I've read about other stuff but I'm not so convinced they will help. From what I've read, it seems that sperm count is pretty much genetically determined (for most men) and that very little can be done about it. I'm hoping he has enough to get me knocked up, one way or another!

congrats on ovulating! Good luck on the IUI, I'll be thinking fertilization thoughts for you

LiamsMommy31905, that sounds so tough. I'm sorry. It must have been just awful.

and hugs to everyone else who's been going through rough patches. I'm so grateful to have this community, I know it helps me to deal, so I hope my hugs and thoughts will help you all a little bit too.