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Book Group? Non-violent Communication - Page 4  

post #61 of 80
10/7/03 at 11:33am
I am in, I ordered a couple days ago. I noticed though Powells did not list MDC so I typed it in.
post #62 of 80
10/7/03 at 11:49am
I'd love to join this, but can't right now....

Just wanted to say that the author spoke at La Leche League Intl. Conference this past July in San Francisco. My friend gave me a copy of the hand-out.

He speaks in nearby Santa Barbara all the time... I've been meaning to go to the Anger Workshop forever... but I should read the book first. Thanks for the reminder!
post #63 of 80
10/7/03 at 12:22pm
Thread Starter 

What kind of group?

We need to decide together what kind of group we have. Please, consider these ideas.

First, it will be difficult for what goes on between us to be practice, since we interact on a message board only very slowly and indirectly. A practice group would seem better suited to a classroom where we could role play and put all of our senses to work. This message board can be a place where we report on our practice in the world of faces, but how are we to practice before we have fully discussed and integrated the ideas before us?

Second, I am a university teacher, so I would feel quite comfortable standing in front of you (virtually) to bring up ideas from the text for discussion. That is, IF you want me to after you read this message. But the way I teach is to ask my students to learn all they can about a subject and discuss it before they come to conclusions about it--this includes voicing any skepticism they may have about a topic. Doubts can easily be voiced without being dismissive, offensive, or conclusive. I don't see how coming to understand the ideas of NVC by discussing it together and the practice of NVC in our lives can be anything but intertwined.

I would like to participate in a book discussion group, with the added dimension of sharing our experiences as we put the ideas to practice in our lives.

Lori
post #64 of 80
10/7/03 at 12:44pm

Re: What kind of group?

I already practice a lot of NVC in my communication with my children and am eager to take that up to a new level. In order to work a new book's insights into my daily practice I need to feel my way through it, examining the ideas and examples carefully and sorting them through my own value system and knowledge of my children. In this sense I would be critiquing and evaluating, retaining my full agency before the book, rather than seeing it as dogma that I need to swallow whole.

On the other hand, I would tire quickly of a thread where some members were deliberately out to "poke holes" in the text. This posture would simply be hostile to the book and the group.

Quote:
Originally posted by elemental
Doubts can easily be voiced without being dismissive, offensive, or conclusive.
Exactly. Maybe we could set some ground rules? Or agree on a shared intent?
post #65 of 80
10/7/03 at 1:02pm
I too am looking for a discussion group. As I have never read this book - I'm going to be exposed to this information for the first time. I cannot swallow a book whole either, but have a tendency to need to adjust it according to my life's experiences, my personality, the way I see its usage playing out.

I do believe that those who would 'poke holes' for the sake of playing devil's advocate (not out of true concern or questions regarding any particular thought) would prove detrimental. However, I don't want to be in a group where all involved would agree - agree - agree . . . unless of course, they actually DO agree with all concepts 100%.
post #66 of 80
10/7/03 at 2:28pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Maybe we could set some ground rules?
Great idea.

Quote:
Or agree on a shared intent?
If we have ground rules, maybe we can each approach the discussion with our individual intent.

When classroom discussions get intense, I set out ground rules for students to discuss and agree upon. If you like, I could post my sheet for them here, but I don't think most of it would be relevant. The most important point from my list is:

Keep disagreements focused on the issues (don’t get personal).

What else would anyone like to add?

Lori
post #67 of 80
10/7/03 at 5:02pm
Quote:
ask my students to learn all they can about a subject and discuss it before they come to conclusions about it--this includes voicing any skepticism they may have about a topic.
This is what I think we are talking about as a practical application board VS. finding something you don't like and dismissing the entire thing - and voicing that opinion to everyone else. I personally think that above quote from Lori should be part of the ground rules. No getting personal, and no deciding before knowing the subject thoroughly - and then we need to agree to disagree respectfully when that time comes (which it most certainly will).

I got my book and workbook today and glanced through. I am excited to begin. Do we need to have CH 1 read prior to the 13th, or is that when we all start reading? Are we all going to go at the same pace to keep the discussions relevant? How should we break it down?
post #68 of 80
10/7/03 at 5:49pm

I am in...

I would like to join and I am so excited 'cause as I started to read the book 3 weeks ago, I found out about this group. I was feeling a bit lonely in my planet alone reading the book. I have a bit of experience since my partner practices NVC it with us at home.
I am going to order the workbook.
Count me in...

Pia, mama to a beloved intense and wonderful 2 year old
post #69 of 80
10/7/03 at 10:02pm

Re: What kind of group?

Quote:
Originally posted by elemental
This message board can be a place where we report on our practice in the world of faces, but how are we to practice before we have fully discussed and integrated the ideas before us?
Yes, I agree - I see this as an ongoing discussion of the ideas with the "practical" aspects practiced IRL. Though I'm sure there will be opportunity to practice NVC here when we disagree.

Quote:
Originally posted by elemental
Second, I am a university teacher, so I would feel quite comfortable standing in front of you (virtually) to bring up ideas from the text for discussion. That is, IF you want me to after you read this message. [/B]
I would love for you to be the facilitator.

BTW - what do you teach, Lori? Diaper art? I thought it was literature?

I agree with someone who posted we could have a thread per chapter, or it that gets too long, a thread per idea. Then we can keep track of where we are and will also allow others to catch up if they want to join later.
post #70 of 80
10/8/03 at 12:09am

Just saw the banner

A little late here. My best friend heard Dr. Rosenberg (sp?) speak at the LLLI Conference in San Francisco, and she said he's amazing. He's also coming to Atlanta in two weeks for workshops, etc. I'm so excited to have a forum to learn more about NVC here on MDC I've ordered my books---can't wait. Hope it's okay that I join in.

Thanks,

Amy
(formerly georgiamilk)
post #71 of 80
10/8/03 at 12:21am
I am also happy to have you, Lori, as facilitator.

I envision an intellectual discussion about a scholarly work and it's practical applications.

The proposed ground rules sound agreeable to me.

Pamela xo
post #72 of 80
10/8/03 at 12:22am

A few clarifications....

Okay, I'll go along with this being a book group but not necessarily a practice group. I'm working to set up a practice group locally, anyway. I think it's a good idea to have groundrules, and I appreciate what's already been noted.

And a couple other small notables: for whoever it was who asked about/wondered about a parenting-specific publication -- Inbal Kashtan (a certified NVC trainer who specializes in parenting issues -- I know her from the NVC-Parenting e-mail list and have had a few direct interactions with her) has written a booklet called "Parenting from Your Heart", which can be purchased at www.cnvc.org. I haven't read it yet, but apparently the whole booklet is focused on using NVC in parenting situations and has 10 exercises included in it.

Also, Elemental, would you mind editing the title of your originating post to correct the spelling of "Nonviolent"? People who search the 'net for references won't find the right stuff if they search for "non-violent" -- I know this from having made the same mistake myself in a newsletter article about Inbal! Marshall makes a point of using the word "nonviolent" in the same way Gandhi used it, which has a stronger meaning than simply "not-violent."

Thanks.

By the way, I have the old version of Marshall's book, but had the opportunity to look over the new edition -- I'm pleased to note that the most significant change I saw when reviewing the table of contents was the addition of a chapter on being with your own feelings! (I'm sure I'm not quoting that right, but that's the gist of what I remember.) That chapter in itself is enough to send me out to buy the new edition!

Luci
post #73 of 80
10/8/03 at 12:51am
I also agree that you should be the facilitator Lori. And I'm on board with the ground rules that have been discussed so far.

I think (or perhaps I'm wrong) that we are all interested in the book because we have a natural leaning and desire to incorporate nvc in our lives, especially in our parenting. That hopefully will keep the discussions leaning toward healthy skepticism and not critiquing for critiquing's sake.

I'm still waiting for my book to arrive. Without having looked at it, I like the idea of a weekly chapter discussion.
post #74 of 80
10/8/03 at 3:51am
I just heard about this thread from the newletter feature. This looks like the sort of thing I was hoping to find on this site. Count me in. I'll order the book tomorrow morning. When you were talking about starting on the 13th is that this October 13th? I didn't see dates on the topic review. How does an online group work ? I haven't used this before.
D.
post #75 of 80
10/8/03 at 4:09pm
Thread Starter 
Let's set a schedule, then. I propose that we start by having Chapter
1, "Giving from the Heart," read by October 13th (this coming Monday).
Also, look over the Table of Contents to acquaint yourself with the
scope of the book. For those who are following along in the Workbook,
read the exercises for Chapter 1. Workbook readers may also want to
look over the first 4 sections on setting up a practice group. That may
help us to smooth the way to making this a coherent group.

Let's set a general pace of 1 chapter a week. That's 13 weeks. If we
find that too slow or if we want more time for discussion and
contemplation, we can change that as we go. We may want to set up polls
to decide issues like that. As a matter of fact, I'll go set up a poll
now, and see what pace you all would prefer.

Go to the Poll

And, Luci, I'll spell it nonviolent from now on.

Meghan, I teach various subjects in American Studies and General
Education. This semester "American Pluralism," which is diversity 101
to help students deal with race, ethnicity, gender, age, class, and
religion; and "U.S. in the World," which is about U.S. Foreign Policy
and media filters. It was for the Pluralism class that I considered
using this book. Very few of my students know I'm a diaper mogul. It's
not a subject that has much meaning for these 18-22 year olds.

Lori
post #76 of 80
10/8/03 at 4:19pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
How does an online group work ?
Dolores, that's a good question. Just read and discuss, and we'll work it out as we go.

Would someone like to compile the ground rules? Then you could post them at the beginning of new threads, adding anything that has come up in the meantime.

Lori
post #77 of 80
10/8/03 at 9:02pm
Quote:
Originally posted by elemental
I teach various subjects in American Studies and General
Education.
Thanks! I've always wondered...

Quote:
Originally posted by elemental
Very few of my students know I'm a diaper mogul. It's
not a subject that has much meaning for these 18-22 year olds.
LOL! It is pretty different from what they know you as. Reminds me of my music theory prof who was an amateur astronomer and had a huge round-roofed telescope in his backyard, took calculus for fun, and collected illuminated manuscrips off eBay. And my orchestra prof who was crazy about trains, even had a miniature train track in his backyard you could actually ride!

Back on topic now...: Unfortunately, I won't be ready for our first discussion since my book is at a friend's which I'm going I'm to pick up on Friday on my way through to Canada to visit my family for Cdn. Thanksgiving, so no time to study. I've already read that chapter, though, so I look forward to seeing peoples' thoughts.
post #78 of 80
10/12/03 at 10:14pm
Thought it might be nice to post a reminder (for those that subscribed to this thread) that tomorrow opens discussion with Chapter 1.
post #79 of 80
10/13/03 at 11:43am
my book has not arrived but i have a feeling that a chapter thread will be necessary as our discussions may get long
would someone start a new thread with a link here to it?
and spell nonviolent this way,
post #80 of 80
10/13/03 at 1:54pm
Thread Starter 

Come join the new thread

I've started a new thread here for Chapter 1, "Giving from the Heart": http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=92028

Come join us.
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Mothering › Forums › Natural Family Living › Books, Music and Other Media › Book Group? Non-violent Communication