Room sharing for a brother and a sister - Page 3

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by Momily

I guess the question to me is what you will be in a position to do if they do come to you with concerns about this 5 years down the road? Will you be stuck, or will there be other options?

That would be my concern.

[Momily]

Originally Posted by wedgered2

in regards to the poster who asked if we would be "stuck" in 5 years...the concept of being "stuck" is something i don't believe in. there are few situations that are impossible to undo in some sense..failure is always possible, but i dont act out of fear of failure.

OK, I'll rephrase the stuck comment.

I agree that this is very cultural. However, to some degree you are raising your children within that culture, so it's not unlikely that at some point they'll wish they had their own rooms, and (if you've raised them to be well attached with good parent-child communication) express that wish to you. You gave the fact that the children are comfortable with room sharing as a reason why you're comfortable, so I feel like I need to ask -- what about when they're not comfortable?

Will you say "family closeness is a family value to us, I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's not really your choice" (which I see as fine, but then you need to remove "they're comfortable with it" from your list of reasons)

Will you say "I'm sorry but this is what we can afford" (again, fine with me, but then again you need to remove their comfort from your list of reasons)

Will you move? (If so, will you need to leave this community that sounds wonderful?)

Will you add on space so that they can have their own room?

Will you rearrange living space so that they have their own space (the parents in the living room idea has been floated, is there a basement you can convert? Will their bedroom be big enough for a divider of some kind?)

Will you be disappointed, or crushed, and communicate that to your kids? (The fact that you refer to the idea that your children's taste in rooming arrangements as "failure" as opposed to something you might want to plan for makes me think that you might. In my experience kids are sometimes hesitant to communicate things they know will crush their parents, but not communicating a feeling and not having it are two different things)?

Do you have some plan to protect your children from the geo-cultural influences so that they never feel this way?

I don't think what you're doing is a bad thing or a wrong thing. But I don't think that recognizing that almost 10 year olds often feel differently about things from almost 17 year olds is "planning for failure".

[bec]

My kids are younger, and all girls, but, I do have 2 of them sharing a room. When the 2 year old is old enough, and ready to get out of our bed, I am, most likely going to be putting the three of them together in a single room. Get this, even though we have a spare bedroom that they she could go into. The kids are so connected and close, that this would just provide a natural, and easy transition from parents' bed. Currently, the girls sleep in bunk beds, so, we would get a different bunk bed arrangement. I have gotten some raised eyebrows from my parents and inlaws, but then, I've gotten raised eyebrows for a lot of the things I do, so I'm kinda used to it by now!

I think, if your kids like the idea go for it. If they stop liking the idea, there are always solutions. I love the office cubicle wall divider idea! There are many ways to create private space within a room. And, being in a community that values the economy of space, it likely won't be an issue.

[PoppyMama]

Here is an answer I've used to the question of when my kids would get their own room.

....when they get their own house.

[aaronsmom]

I have no snappy comebacks (or teenaged children) but I wanted to offer support. My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I shared a room until I was 13 with no problems. Heck, I'd still share a room with him if I had to. For awhile we even slept in the same bed. I find nothing strange about that at all. In fact, I wouldn't find it strange to sleep in the same bed with him even now and I'm 20 years old. My brother and I are very close and were never taught that it was "wrong" or "strange" or even "sexual" to be in close physical proximity to each other.