what kinds of social things do your kids do?

[MamaLisa1]

I am starting to find our groove as far as the actual schooling goes, but I'm finding there is a real lack of socialization for him, and this bothers me. When I initially asked the local HS group about the opportunities for socializing, it was made to sound as if there were like two things each day to choose from. I'm finding this is not the case, and unfortunately recently, things keep getting canceled for either illness or otherwise. It seems like the majority of the things that are planned, revolve around preschoolers. That's great, but what about the school-aged kids? He has only interacted with other kids (besides his siblings) maybe 6 times in the last two months. This is not acceptable in my opinion. I have noticed in the park setting, he is usually playing alone, as are most of the other kids...there seems to be very little interaction. I'd have kids come here, but we haven't had the opportunity to get to really know any!!!
I would like to sign him up for Karate, but is he really going to get to know the kids in the class? I've found that when my other kids have taken classes like that, they go...participate in the class, and leave.
We are planning our daughter's 16th birthday party, and he asked when he might get to have a birthday party sometime. He will be 7 in June, and has not had a party with friends, ever. That broke my heart.
Another thing that is particularly bothersome to me, is that even if there ARE things to take him to, with other kids to contend with, and me sometimes getting sick or having appointments, it may not always be possible for me to be running all over the place to take him to whatever. Part of the reason we took him out of school was because of the negative social aspects....bullying, teasing, shunning him for whatever reason....but now he has NO social aspects in his life. I just need to get this figured out somehow.

[simple living mama]

Get creative. Find a community room somewhere and start up a monthly board game club. Start up your own homeschooling group for 6-9 year olds. Sign up for after school classes. Being a homeschooling mom has made me be more pro-active because the "socialization" wasn't coming to us, I had to make it happen for my kids.

[Wilhemina]

Originally Posted by MamaLisa1

When I initially asked the local HS group about the opportunities for socializing, it was made to sound as if there were like two things each day to choose from. I'm finding this is not the case

It seems like the majority of the things that are planned, revolve around preschoolers.

I would like to sign him up for Karate, but is he really going to get to know the kids in the class? I've found that when my other kids have taken classes like that, they go...participate in the class, and leave.

For all the reasons you stated, a dear friend of mine started a new homeschool group here about a year ago, specifically to do things socially. There were plenty of co-ops and classes, but no opportunities for kids to just play together. Our group is VERY active and VERY social, and because it's the same group of children (@30) they have really gotten to know each other.


Do you know another family or two with whom you could begin a regular park day? I think one thing that helped our group get off the ground - other than the stark need for this kind of group - was that we set up a playday at a local community center (for free!) and during the winter we've arranged super-discounted rates for a local indoor pool in lieu of park day. Hsers love a bargain!

and good luck!

[melissabb]

Originally Posted by simple living mama

Get creative. Find a community room somewhere and start up a monthly board game club. Start up your own homeschooling group for 6-9 year olds. Sign up for after school classes. Being a homeschooling mom has made me be more pro-active because the "socialization" wasn't coming to us, I had to make it happen for my kids.

I think that is a great suggestion!

[elizawill]

lisa, what part of NC are you in? are you near charlotte? if so, i can recommend some good social h-school networks. plus my kids are 6 and almost 4, and we'd be willing to meet up sometimes

[ABand3]

have you looked into Cary Homeschoolers? I think I remember earlier when you posted about homeschool groups. Is that too far for you? We have park day every Friday, it has only been cancelled once this year, when it was 40 degrees and pouring rain. Usually the parents there are good about trying to connect new kids with like minded kids there - my son has made a few good friends this way, but it did take several months of regular attendance.

Here's the park schedule - non members are welcome to park days as many times as you want.
1st Friday Crowder
2nd Friday North Cary
3rd Friday Ritter
4th Friday White Oak
5th Friday (if there is one) Laurel Hills

Let me know if you want more info about any of those locations or about finding us there.

Also, I think the group called 'PEACE' has a regular park day, they have a yahoo group you could find.

[EmmalinesMom]

The previous posters have some great ideas.

You mentioned Karate, and my daughter has been taking Karate for about 2.5 years. There is another homeschooled girl in class, and we do play with her some outside of Karate, but I've found that it's lots of fun to have dinner with other families before or after practice. The kids get to play and talk, and we get to talk with the parents that we might not have otherwise gotten to know. Some Mondays we'll even have a couple of the families over for spaghetti before class. So, depending on the timing of the class, you might have the chance to share a meal with other families and get to know them.

[obiandelismom]

I agree with the other posters! My 7yo was dying for outdoor running-around games, and so we organized a weekly "sports day" through our homeschool group. It takes a little patience - the kids will obviously not be best friends after one or two weeks! But we have ended up with several families that we are close to, and we did invite several of the "park kids" to ds' birthday party

[RiverSky]

Why not start a "boys club" in your homeschool group and host the first few at your house? You could do it weekly or every other week, and just invite all boys between say 6 & 9, and serve snacks or ask people to bring a snack to share. You can have themes, like board game day, action figures day, paper airplanes day, etc. I did the exact same thing and it has been a blast and my son has gotten close to a bunch of boys that we didn't really know before then, even though we were active in the group. That way, you don't actually have to know any boys before you invite them!

[MamaLisa1]

I'm south of Raleigh, but Cary is a bit far for me....35 minutes or so.

I don't think I could handle the nervous wreck that having a bunch of little boys running around here would make me, so I don't know that having a boys club here at my house would work. I have four kids, but three are girls who are calm and into playing quiet things. If someone else wanted to do it, I'd gladly bring the snacks, so maybe I'll suggest it. We don't have much good outdoor equipment either, so we'd be stuck in the house, and Jacob might get upset if someone broke his things.

[lisarussell]

we do 4H, girl scouts, a playgroup for the little ones, Singing, Drama, Ballet, Swimming, a co-op from our support group, field trips, and they play with kids in the neighborhood and have sleepovers constantly (one friend each every friday and as many as they want (we've had 27 little girls once) once a month for the big sleepovers.

[tallanvor]

My daughter does tap and sewing and she's getting to know the girls in both of those classes. It is a bit harder with tap, but she's getting to where I think I'm going to have to meet up with a couple moms and see about having the girls over. We also go to church and that is actually where most of my kids' friends are from. Probably because we were there for a good year before we started doing the outside classes. But my son (5) doesn't really have any friends that are boys. He has a few friends that are girls, but we don't have the over very often because they usually end up doing girly stuff with Autumn instead of playing with Aiden.

I like those ideas listed above about starting a group, either on your own or with a few other moms.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by MamaLisa1

I don't think I could handle the nervous wreck that having a bunch of little boys running around here would make me, so I don't know that having a boys club here at my house would work. I have four kids, but three are girls who are calm and into playing quiet things. If someone else wanted to do it, I'd gladly bring the snacks, so maybe I'll suggest it. We don't have much good outdoor equipment either, so we'd be stuck in the house, and Jacob might get upset if someone broke his things.

Well, then think outside the box and have boys club meet at playgrounds, or at fun venues, or rent a room at a community center and set up an activity or craft, or a sport like soccer or make it a "wheels" day where everyone brings rollerblades or scooters or wheelies or bikes. You could talk to your local library and get the children's librarian to do a special storytime and craft just for the children and age range that you want to have in the group. You could get everyone to go to an open gym at an indoor playground or gymnastics center.

Don't just give up because you don't want kids in your house. I mean, if you want your children to socialize, then you need to figure out a way to make it happen, right?

[MamaLisa1]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

Don't just give up because you don't want kids in your house. I mean, if you want your children to socialize, then you need to figure out a way to make it happen, right?

It's not that I don't want kids in my house....a couple extra at a time, would be fine, especially once we'd get to know them. It's just the thought of like 6 or 8 kids that I haven't gotten to know coming here and running around like boys always seem to do, that would drive me bonkers. My older girls have friends over all the time, but they have never been wild or anything, except once at a sleepover when my oldest turned 8, and the one girl kept barging into my room and was loud and obnoxious and saying mean things to everyone in the middle of the night...it actually made my daughter cry!
I don't have the money to rent a room at a community center either, and as I said before, I noticed that the kids...even in his age bracket are not interacting with each other at the park, so I wanted something a little better...I just wasn't sure what. Our park is lame also, and there aren't many others to choose from. It's just not the ideal scenario, is all.

[ABand3]

Originally Posted by MamaLisa1

I'm south of Raleigh, but Cary is a bit far for me....35 minutes or so.

I realize that the park days in Cary may be far for you, but Cary Homeschoolers does have members from all over the triangle, including quite a few from the Garner area and other places south & east of Raleigh. The park day at Crowder is one the southeast side of Cary, so closer for people in your area. Also, people host things that are not in Cary, maybe near where they live.

Have you looked into PEACE? They seem to be based more on the southeast/ Johnson Co side - often too far for me, so maybe closer to you?

[MamaLisa1]

do you have any links for peace? I am about 22 minutes from the White Oakshopping center, so even Garner is a little bit of a drive...although I do drive there about once a week.

[ABand3]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PEACE_at_Home/

[WonderMa]

We have found a couple of families that my kids and I really get along with and have a standing "date". We meet at the library every week at the same time, and it's not very many of us but is still very nice.

[phathui5]

Our kids play with the neighborhood kids almost every day when those kids get home from school.

We see lots of kids at church and at church events outside of Sunday.

Ds1 has tae kwon do twice a week.

I babysit a 5 year old and a 3 year old sibling pair three half days a week, so my kids play with them.

We can call and invite another local homeschooling family with four kids over to play.

We recently joined a local homeschooling group that offers a lot of fun stuff. We're going to a family potluck with them this Sunday.

Our problem is trying to fit in time for schoolwork.

[jaceycat24]

my daughter is younger than your son but we go to a church that sponsers awana. she has a great time and has many friends from that. we also have playdates where we meet at mcdonalds and they play there so thats always an option you can offer to your home schooling group. we also drive about 20 minutes every other friday to a park with other homeschoolers. my daughter isn't friends with any of the kids but still is interreacting with the kids for turns on the slide and in the sandbox so its socializing her. as she grows we plan on having her attend 4h or girl scouts. maybe your son can join a boy scouts group. we also will be having her play a sport and probably gymnastics.