Suggestions for my 4yo son

[WWofford]

My son just turned 4 and I've decided to go ahead and start the homeschooling. The problem is, he is all boy. All he wants to do is play outside. I have no problem with that and I just work around it. We color one letter a day just so I can get him to recognize his letters. He just doesn't seem interested. He doesn't like to color. He likes trucks and dirt and construction equipment. Anybody have a child like this? How did you handle it? Did he eventually become interested?

[ABand3]

Originally Posted by WWofford

He likes trucks and dirt and construction equipment.

How about you show him how to write his name, or make other letters (like T for truck) in the dirt, with his hand, or with his truck or a stick?

Age four is young to start expecting daily table work, if he's not interested, but there are ways to work concepts that you think are important into what he already likes to do.

Homeschooling gives you freedom to think (and do) outside the box...the way schools do things is not always the gold standard for which we should aim. Don't be afraid to go with what works for him.

[WWofford]

That is a very good idea. I should just work with him. I'm just lost. The only other 4 yo I know is a girl, and she is reading and doing worksheets and she likes to color and draw. I ask my son if he'd like to learn to read and he says "No." I'm not comparing him to other kids, I just don't know where he is supposed to be at this stage. But I guess I really shouldn't worry. If you say it's too young for table work, then that makes me feel much better.

[sarathan]

I also have a 4-year old "all boy", although he does enjoy some "schooly" things sometimes. But if he didn't, I wouldn't worry about it at all and I would just let him play. Like the other poster said, you can get creative and write letters in the dirt, have him count rocks outside, etc. Does he like to read? You could always just read to him fun stories that are also educational. But seriously, just let him play for now.

[elizawill]

my son will be 4 next month, and i'll start doing a few preschool things with him too. my ds is EXACTLY as you described your son. he would not be into seatwork really. i've got a few websites bookmarked on my blog that i may use for my son. they are listed under "our schedule" area. i will only get ideas from these sites of course. i plan to do more nature walks, crafts that relate to him, games, etc. and we'll see how it goes

[briansmama]

Hi Wendy,

Please don't force the issue with your son! My ds is also 4, and I do not make him sit down to practice letters. He LOVES anything with dirt and trucks, and the combo is even better.

The one week I did attempt to sit down to go over one letter each day (right at 4), he started to openly dislike learning. We never did that again, and now he talks about letters ALL of the time (he's 4yrs 3 months). He asks us what letters certain words start with, and he now can even figure out how to spell a lot of shorter words.

But this is through conversations, which I believe is a very valuable learning tool. If we were doing it with pen and paper, he would stop asking. The other day he even decided to take out a blank card and wrote his name out. This was my "valentine." He saw that I gave dh a written valentine and signed my name, so he thought he'd do the same for me.

Your ds will start asking, but it's more likely to occur when you stop trying to make him learn, in my experience.

HTH!

[Mongoose]

Another hands on letter learning tool is letter cookie cutters. You can use them in cookie dough or jello-jigglers or whatever. My DD loves to announce which letter she is eating and of course likes to help with cutting them out. She is also like the girl you described only she is 3. I agree with pp some kids like to be schooly(DD favorite thing is workbooks and she always asks to do "math" and "phonics"), some kids like to play and avoid schooly stuff. Just go with the flow and find fun things to introduce ideas.

[mountainsun]

I know EXACTLY how you feel!! We have a couple of friends' whose 4 yos have been in "school" for a while and can write and such. But my ds is SO content to play especially in the dirt. I was worried for a minute about it, but ya know what? They have so much time to learn all of that stuff, and so little time to just be 4. Also, my ds has started to writeletters/ numbers all on his own. No coaxing, no lessons. Or he will point out letters on signs and stuff. They will get there, I am sure of it

I think that reading to them is extremely important. Making sure there is stuff around for them to read/ look at. And play is SO important at this age (imo).
I have had to remind myself of this, as at times is is hard to not compare your child to another. A hs'd child is not going to be at the same "level" as a schooled child ~ but that is OK.

GL, it is a journey, isnt it?

[Leersia]

If it's at all reassuring to you, I think that this is much less an issue of HS vs. traditional school than it is the wide range in development of kids this age. My personal experience is that of a HSing mom of 5.5-year-old twin boys, one of whom was doing "schooly" stuff at age 4 (motivated completely by him) and is now reading and doing basic math well, and another who is just starting (barely) to become interested (but still has no interest in writing). The latter son, I feel, is just as bright, but his interests are elsewhere; he likes to build build build, and be read to about dinosaurs. With him, it's all about fun games. And there are lots of fun, educational games you can acquire - it's also easy to make up your own.

Some 4 and 5-year olds are ready for worksheets, etc., but there are MANY who are not, and I feel bad for those that are in intensive kindergarten programs!

[numericmama]

We are using a modified Enki, and most of my friends are practicing Waldorf. In these styles, letters and numbers are not learned until the kids are older, like 6 or 7.
With Montessori, letters are learned in a more freeflowing, child controlled style.
At 4, the most important thing is play, play, play. But, if you would really like some letter recognition, you could tape a big letter on the floor every day, or every week and just kind of leave it there. My son likes to move a lot, pretending he is a train, so I could totally see him walking over the letter to learn it and it's form.
It's funny, because my son does know his letters, but, now I want to "teach him to read" in a very relaxed style and I am having to go back over the alphabet again and teach the sounds instead of the name. If I had been following Motessori, I would not have taught him the names until after he had learned the sounds and how to read, and I would not be "correcting my mistakes" now.

[fullofhope]

Think play! Play play play play and talk with him. Involve him in your daily routine. Make up silly songs about whatever it is you're thinking of, and sometimes let it be numbers or letters. The best advice I got was to make sure I put no more emphasis on "academic" stuff than on other stuff- be just as happy to play cars as to do letters.

Use manipulatives/props when you do start teaching, rather than paper and pencil- sticks, rocks, beans, to fill in an outline, or draw and write in applesauce, pudding, shaving cream. But again, when you get these out, don't do just letters! Make the letter learning be incidental.

While you are out playing, draw a truck in the dirt. "Look, a truck! I wonder what it is carrying?" Put some rocks on the truck. "What a heavy load. Here's the driver" draw the driver. If your son becomes interested, keep going. Create several other shapes. "Look, there's our house, is the truck delivering something?" The draw a letter above the rocks. "Wow, the truck is delivering a snake! Hey look though, that snake looks like the letter s!" Then continue on with more non-letter stuff.

I have read somewhere that kids can either take a long time learning to read when they are little (and if it's forced, develop a hatred for it), or they can spend that time learning to think and problem solve in their play and then learn to read quickly and competently when they are older. If they are solid in their thinking and problem solving skills first, they can relate what they read to everything else and REALLY read, not just read the words, if that make sense.

Just enjoy your son and don't worry. He sounds like he's full of life.

[tallanvor]

I would just go with his interests. I mean, my older daughter was reading at 4 because she wanted me to teach her. My son just turned 5 and doesn't read yet. But he can do math that his sister wasn't doing until she was 6 because he wanted to sit and do math. But if your LO is not interested in sitting and doing "schoolwork" I wouldn't worry about it. I mean, there are fun ways, yes, to teach things, but you know, for a lot of kids, I think one reason it takes so long for them to learn is because they aren't interested. Wait until he's interested in learning to read and whatnot, and he'll probably take off like a rocket.

Oh, you could also try Wheel of Fortune (sounds crazy, I know, but it works) and sidewalk chalk. My kids LOVE chalk and I can often get them to write and draw things outside in chalk more easily than inside on paper.