1....plus 1?

[thefragile7393]

My son is 2 and we just found out I'm pregnant again. DOn't know exact timeframe but probably roughly sometime in October...so ds won't even be 3 yet when dc #2 is born.

I'm sure that there have been threads on this and in my hormonal stupor I just am blanking out. For those that have been in this situation, how do you or did you deal and cope? Ds is very close to me and he is going to have problems sharing me...already when I hold a friend's infant he starts wanting to be in my lap and get my attention.

I've always known I didn't want ds to be an only child but wasn't exactly planning for them to be this close together. Any advice on how to cope, what possibly to expect, how you dealt with the babymoon?

[KermitMissesJim]

All of my children are between 2 years, 6 months apart to 2 years, 9 months apart. It's a fabulous spacing IMO and we choose it on purpose each and every time.

When I was going to have my second, I went through some intense guilt about "sharing my heart" with another child. It all evaporated when my dd was born. Ds1 handled it like any other big change (like moving). He had the sudden mood swings and was extra clingy.

I gave him one on one time when his sister was asleep, dh stepped up and took more personal time with ds, and we also spent a lot of time together as a family of four, so that ds could see that we were still our family, just a bit bigger.

And he loved her. He even shared a lollipop with her when she was three days old. :

[thefragile7393]

Originally Posted by KermitMissesJim

And he loved her. He even shared a lollipop with her when she was three days old. :

LOLOL that's too cute...in a way.

Ds is so going to go through a big change, I know we'll have to give him extra love and attention.....I Just have no clue how hard it's going to be!

[Smokering]

And he loved her. He even shared a lollipop with her when she was three days old.

Awww. My friend's two-year-old recently shared some raw onion with her six-week-old brother... my friend decided to think of it as a good sign, once she'd finished calming the poor boy!

[Learning_Mum]

I found out I was pregnant unexpectedly when DS was just two.

It seems scary now, but honestly, everyone has adusted.

DS knows all about the baby, and is excited about 'his baby brother' coming. I've always referred to the baby as 'our baby' and we've looked at lots of photos of when he was a baby and I've generally just spent the last six months preparing him, and now I'm really excited!

I know it's not going to be all roses and I'm prepared for that, but hoenstly I think DS is going to adjust just fine!

[LuckyMommaToo]

Also, remember that nine months is a looooonnnnng time as far as your child's development. DS is 2.9 older than DD (and as it happens, my brother is 2.9 older than me!). I think it's great spacing. I wouldn't tell your LO yet, though. We didn't tell DS until I was four or five months along.

I know it seems impossible to you now. Get a babycarrier you love. I will say, babymooning was almost nonexistent for me the second time (and unfortunately, I had mastitis multiple times to prove it). But we made it through, and to see DS and DD seeking each other out and sitting rightnexttoeachother -- oh, it's so beautiful! I'm really glad they have each other.
-e

[timneh_mom]

My DS is 2 years, 3 months older than DD. They have always gotten along pretty well. She is totally fascinated by him. I think she is stressing him out a bit now that she is walking really well and "wrecks" his stuff. But we've always made it a point from the beginning that "She really likes you!" and made sure he understood that she was his baby too, his baby sister.

I agree that a lot can and will change with your older child in 9 months. Give it some time! And, I also agree with a good carrier or wrap of some kind for the early months. Mine saved my butt many times!

[Mama Poot]

Well, you could consider yourself lucky with your spacing. My first two are 11.5 months apart, 30 months and 18 months old to be exact. I can't really give you any specific advice on "coping", you just do it because you don't have any other choice. And your son might really surprise you with his resilience. Start having little conversations with him now, read books about what happens when mama is pregnant, show him pictures, buy him a baby doll and show him how to hold a baby. My 2 year old has been expressing some anxiety over his 2nd sibling, but he does have the benefit of already being a big brother and never really knowing what it was like to not have to share his mom. I really believe keeping Paddy as involved as possible and at the same time focusing as much as I can on his own personal accomplishments and staying in touch with him is the best thing to do. One thing you can do right now, something I wish I could take advantage of more often, is spend lots of one on one time with your son. It is so hard to divide my time between my two boys, and it will be even harder with their sister here, but its definitely worth the extra effort. Both of my boys are always much calmer and more relaxed with each other when they've gotten a few hours to spend alone with me.