Moms of Many March 2008 thread - Page 5

[annettemarie]

I have a funny. We were having a LLL meeting and things had wrapped up and we were just visiting. A new mama leaned over and said "Can I talk to you about birth control?" For a split second, I thought she wanted to lecture me about using it! Then all four of mind were there at once, and I realized she was asking about birth control and breastfeeding, and I just cracked up and said, "Well, obviously is isn't something I know a whole lot about. Let me grab my book."

OK, it was funny to me.

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Am I a really bad person for feeling annoyed that my baby sleeps through the night (8 hours plus) and so I can't depend on LAM any more? That bugged me.
My hardest pregnancy to date was with Isaac, where the SPD was crippling (I slipped a disc during the pregnancy. Back got better, pelvis didn't) and so was the nausea. He was conceived on his brother's first birthday, and we had Rowan before that, born at 24 weeks. My next hardest pregnancy was River, who was conceived when Skye was 18 months old, but I'd had three losses between them- so another 24 weeks of pregnancy. Skye, otoh, was a doddle to carry apart from the prodromal labour I'd say that some of this could be down to close spacing too.

Not a bad person at all. LAM is definitely a blessing, and it's hard when it's done.

[umsami]

There was another study posted on MSNBC today on cycle beads. They seem to be pretty effective for Mamas who want a non-hormonal option. You can always use a barrier method during the pregnancy-risk days if you so desire.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23830429/

Family planning groups, health ministries and community development organizations introduced SDM at 14 different sites in Latin America, Africa and Asia. A total of 1,646 women who chose to try the SDM were recruited into the study.

Age, education, and past use of modern contraceptives varied widely among the sites. The study participants typically abstained or used condoms during the fertile days of their cycle.

There were 14.1 pregnancies for every 100 women per year of use of the method, which was comparable to the 12 pregnancies per 100 woman years found in a 2002 clinical trial of the method. The main reason women got pregnant, the researchers found, was that couples "knowingly took the risk" of having unprotected sex on fertile days.

While people often associate natural family planning techniques like the "rhythm method" with religious beliefs, most women in the study who chose to use the SDM said they did so because it was side-effect free, didn't affect women's health and was inexpensive, the researchers note in the March issue of Contraception.

[Anglyn]

Originally Posted by zjande

Geez, I'm such a thread killer!

I have a 16 yo dd, 9 yo ds, 2 yo ds, & 3 month old ds.
And, to catch up, : We spend in the $150-$200 a week range on groceries. We also grow some of our food, I bake all our breads, we go to as many U-pick places as we can in summer & I can tons of stuff. I used to be able to stick to $150 or less a week but the prices of food has just been climbing & climbing & climbing..... And because of that (& the coming scary U.S. economic doom predictions going on in the news), we've started getting enormous orders of bulk foods from Azure Standard. That's been pretty fun. I've been trying to learn about all the exciting things one can create with dried beans!

We too are homeschoolers. My 16 yo just completed her GED so I'm only officially schooling my 9 yo. I've been excitedly collecting & planning preschool activities for my 2 yo who'll also be "officially" preschooling next year. (I have lots of leftover preschooly goodness from my years of home daycare providing as well ).

I'd love to hear how others homeschool with many. How do you structure your days? And how do you plan your curriculums? And do you also usually do all your schooling with one baby on your boob & another teetering on your knees as I just did this morning?

I def feel like the more kids I have, the more structured & organized I need to be, which is a struggle because my nature is to be laid back & notso fantabulously organized. I've been researching online (when I find a spare moment) to see how others out there do it & have gotten some good ideas. I'm also pretty good at staying on top of the housework, but I also have 2 older houseslaves, er, I mean, kids.

I started feeling like a "mom of many" when I had my 3rd but I think that's because I lived in the San Francisco area where barely anyone I knew even HAD kids & if they did it was only 1-2. I felt pretty freakish for having a 3rd. I don't find that same attitude at all up here in Oregon! Now I feel like a m.o.m. because my last 2 are close in age & I'm sooooooo busy all the time.

Since my last 2 were born (with my current/2nd husband), we haven't used a babysitter. We've both felt too worried to want to leave our babies and/or they're attached to my boobs. On top of all of it, my dh has kind of bizarrely high standards that no sitter would probably ever reach.
So at this point, a Hot Date for us is a beer & a Netflix on our couch.

I'd have to agree with Angela- I too think that I thrive on chaos.
Seriously. Most of the time I fantasize & hope to have several more kids- like, as many as I can squeak in before menopause, I'm 34 now. BUT, having my last 2 being 24 mos apart has been SO HARD. My 2 yo is a temper tantruming MANIAC. I feel guilt at times, sad that I can't devote all my time & lap space & boobs to him. I don't feel nearly as much like the "attachment parent" I used to feel like. I tell myself that in the long run he will be very happy to have had a brother so close in age & he (hopefully!! : ) won't be tramautized for life adjusting to sharing mom & dad with his new brother. So, I don't know if having another soon-ish would be good. Also, I learned that my breast milk dries up completely in early pregnancy, AND I hate tandem nursing. So. I'd love a truck load of kids, but am not sure I'll have enough time to be able to if I space them out several years apart.... who knows. My husband would be happy to have about 87 kids. He said the number we have is "pretty much up to me". I love that man.

Congratulations, StormySar!

Im so the same! I loathe tandem nursing but have been doing it for about three years. I was so happy when dd weaned during my last pg but sometimes feel guilty because she is SO obsessed with it: wathcing the boys nurse, talking about it, wanting to touch my boob all the time! she weaned beause my milk also dries up in early pregnacy, though she dry nursed through my pg with her middle brother!

I also fantasize about one or two more but in reality, I can barely keep on top of these guys! Seems like someone is always crying for/wanting something when Im tied up with one of the others.

My dh also says its all up to me, he's happy with these, he'd be happy with more, whatever. Im 38 now, will be 39 in just a couple weeks actually. Not sure how much I want to tempt fate. Not sure I could chase these guys around if I were pg with the kind of fatigue I had last time!!

eta: Last time LAM worked for me for 19mos. I had all of one period between ds2 and ds3!

[AllisonK]

Can I join you?

I'm Allison (see wonderfully unique user name) mom to four. Madeline is 7, Michael is 5, Marah is 2 in April, and Naomi is three weeks old. We homeschool, (unschool?) well not much of any school lately. I am stressed, tired, and well just blah right now. OMG I cannot even post this... back later crying kids

[mommajb]

elcome Allison

I'd say that except for year round, always learning mode, my school year would be over if I had a 3 week old. Congratulations!

We homeschool too but I can't say that we have much structure right now. I do have more structure some years but as my littles was born early September I knew this year would be fly by the seat of your pants at best. Just last night I was moaning about how little we had accomplished when dh rattled off what 11 yo ds read this year for history that I could also include in the lit column and I felt a bit better.

LAM - too funny about LLL, we had the same issue last month and ended up discussing bf and the average spacing of children that it provides.

[AllisonK]

Okay kids are busy again. The tent is set up in the living room and they are camping. Well lets see where did I leave off... We homeschool, very relaxed homeschoolers. We don't have a curriculum but are not really unschoolers either. Thinking of a math curriculum and contemplating part time enrollment in Columbia Virtual Academy (through WA state) we would keep our homeschool status but get a nice chunk of money to buy whatever with. Not sure if we want to have to report hours though even though its all online we would rarely have to speak to someone at all. Rambling sorry.

I am nursing both my two year old and the baby which is a new experience for me. I have never nursed two before. Still getting the hang of it and Marah is no where near weaning. Ever, she will be the nursing high schooler I am sure.

We spend about $600 on groceries per month. This is not including any household supplies (thats another budgeted $200). I would love to hear how (if) you all do it cheaper. The kids eat all the time and with food prices going up I am going crazy stretching our food budget.

Those with two in diapers how often are you washing diapers? I hoped for every two days but I am washing every single day. When I did two the diapers were not getting clean there were so many in the wash. I feel like I am doing laundry all the time since diapers take so long I am getting seriously behind on other laundry.

We are having no more kids. Biological anyway. Dh had a vasectomy this morning. He is now sleeping off the valium they gave him. We will most likely adopt when the kids are older and we can buy a house. DH was a foster child and we both think it would be nice to take some of the older kids who will age out of the system and give them a family to call home. So many kids are just forgotten just because they turn 18. They are still kids. This is something to think hard about though as they would also (most likely) have some serious issues we would need to be able to deal with. DH is a social worker (currently working as a family therapist) so he sees these kids every day.

I look foward to getting to know you guys!

Hi DID! How are you doing? How is HSing going?

[StormySar]

Moms of closely spaced kids...

There seems to be a lot of moms of closely spaced kids here!

I am trying to put together a resource for moms of closely spaced kids - I figured you guys could probably help me?

It's at www.closely=spaced.com I am trying to get an article library/resource area up before I go ahead with the newsletter. Moms like us need a place to go for inspiration and motivation...

Anyone care to submit anything? Even just a "day in the life" so moms can take a peek into the lives of other moms living the same life... Or helpful tips, anything that fits into the topics of the upcoming newsletter. If you'd like your article included in the newsletter, please give me permission for that otherwise it'll just stay in the article library.

[DreamsInDigital]

Originally Posted by AllisonK

Hi DID! How are you doing? How is HSing going?

Hi Allison! I'm doing a lot better now that the 1st trimester nausea/exhaustion is behind me. It gets harder to be a slug on the couch for 3 months the more kids we have. I think we're done with 5.

Tandem nursing is tough, good luck! I made it a year nursing both Winter and Suriya. Looking back on it, I would do it all over again (and probably will, Suriya's like Marah and will probably nurse before her first date ) but it definitely had its moments when I was so done nursing ANYBODY.

HSing is going quite well. Gabriel is really the only one old enough for "schooling" and we sort of fell into unschooling by accident. We do more formal schooling for math but other than that I pretty much just let him lead the way. He's reading at the level of a 14 year old, so amazing.

The weather has been crazy here today! Raining, hailing, snowing, sunny. Crazy!!

[phathui5]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I have a funny. We were having a LLL meeting and things had wrapped up and we were just visiting. A new mama leaned over and said "Can I talk to you about birth control?" For a split second, I thought she wanted to lecture me about using it! Then all four of mind were there at once, and I realized she was asking about birth control and breastfeeding, and I just cracked up and said, "Well, obviously is isn't something I know a whole lot about. Let me grab my book."

OK, it was funny to me.

It was funny to me too.

[crittersmom]

The LLL thing was funny.I've made those kind of comments too while in a brain fog.
That would be very nice Allison.I hope you can do it.
Stormy Star that sounds so cool but I wouldn't have to much time to actaully write a newsletter.I'm sneaking in my internet time right now.A support system does sound neat with sneakpeaks that at other moms in the trenches.
I took the older boys in to the Dr on Mon because thier excema was flaring up in an unusual way and there were other rashes going on.These rashes looked an awful lot like chicken pox and I asked the Dr and he said no.I took them home and still kept DS#1 home from school since he just couldn't control the scratching.We were given a script for claritin and hydrocortisone.By Thurs the boys were still presenting more CP signs and that claritin could have been water.I made another appt and this time the Dr said yep keep em home away from the baby ( yeah right).I really hope that this works for them and they will be done.DD started showing spots this morning.They are all fine and annoying me and each other.LOLDS#1 has such cabin fever he convinced DH to let him wash the car and kept trying to hang out in the street watching all the other kids play at the park.

[flapjack]

crittersmom, if the spots are out the damage is done and there's no point in keeping them away from the babe. Here's for swift passage through the whingy bit :

[Anglyn]

Originally Posted by StormySar

There seems to be a lot of moms of closely spaced kids here!

I am trying to put together a resource for moms of closely spaced kids - I figured you guys could probably help me?

It's at www.closely=spaced.com I am trying to get an article library/resource area up before I go ahead with the newsletter. Moms like us need a place to go for inspiration and motivation...

Anyone care to submit anything? Even just a "day in the life" so moms can take a peek into the lives of other moms living the same life... Or helpful tips, anything that fits into the topics of the upcoming newsletter. If you'd like your article included in the newsletter, please give me permission for that otherwise it'll just stay in the article library.

I couldnt get the link to work!

[orangefoot]

Crittersmom - ha ha at keeping them away from the baby My ds2 resisted chicken pox until he was almost 7yo despite being exposed to it loads of times. He woke up one morning totally plastered in spots and within 2 days dd1 who was 5 weeks old was also spotty.

I hope it passes quickly

We went to a friends birthday party today and Ds2 came with us although it was a 6yo party because they have a cat. He would LOVE a cat and takes every opportunity to talk to cats in the street or at people's houses. Poor Myrtle will be on her cat cushion early tonight; I don't think she's been played with for quite so long for a while. We have though about a cat but I look at our living room and try to imagine a cat there and it makes me wince just thinking about it. I don't think I could bf a cat so that would make keeping one a bit more expensive than another baby..........

[StormySar]

anglyn, sorry its www.closely-spaced.com no equal ;-)

[zjande]

New thread here