or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › March dating thread!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

March dating thread!!! - Page 8

post #141 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongSingleMama View Post
I am just curious how long did everyone here wait to date after getting a divorce?!
I wasn't married to ds's dad, we broke up while I was pregnant, ds is almost 3.5 WOW. I just started dating a couple of months ago and communicated with a couple of guys online, some friends tried to set me up, I went out on a couple dates, all nice guys but nothing clicked and then I met the guy I am seeing now and we have been seeing each other for I guess about 6 weeks. I have been fortunate to have always had relationships with quality guys, well ds's dad has turned out to be a disappointment as a father but I digress, but I never knew a relationship could be so calm and peaceful and wonderful. My relationships in the past were always so full of tension, hyper, its hard to explain, I think because the people I was with were so similar to me and R is not and we balance each other out perfectly. He is WONDERFUL with ds without even trying. For now I am enjoying our time and hoping it continues.
post #142 of 171
Quote:
Eff him. He wasn't responding because he wasn't interested and he was too much of a loser to be up front with you. What an a**hole move, to put his profile back up. Like you wouldn't see it? Like you don't matter enough for him to consider whether you would see it? How banal.
Don't respond, don't step back down into the gutter for this fool. Just do something else. You're too busy and too fabulous. Go dancing this weekend--have some fun!
I couldn't have said it better, BelovedK. You are worth waaayyyyyy too much to put up with that kind of BS!
post #143 of 171
Thread Starter 
Thanks I didn't email him, and I won't, even if he contacts me. I actually put a new (and awesome) picture up of myself, I think of online dating as having my line out there. Guys contact me and I only respond if I am interested (which is rare) B seemed like the perfect guy for me and I was POSITIVE that he felt the same way, so much for my intuition
post #144 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadeshaman View Post
I've been sick pretty much all month. This guy I was seeing--well he pulled a very childish, very disrespectful move a few weeks ago (kinda acted like we weren't a couple when we were in a public place--puhleeze, what is this? Junior high?), and I told him then and there that I couldn't see him anymore. It was a physical response. I thought I was going to vomit, and I am not a puker.
So, he called me in the middle of my illness, and wanted to hang out or something. I reminded him that I had broken up with him. It was weird, it was like he didn't really think I was human. It was like he thought I was a chair that he could sit on anytime. Anyway, I wasn't mad at him. I, on the other hand, felt like he was a child, and I was reminding him that he couldn't have chocolate before dinnertime.

Since then, it has dawned on me that another guy I know may be flirting with me online. I am not interested, even though he's kinda cute.
And, some guy at the pet food store pegged me for being 17 years younger than I am!!!
The upshot is that I've been too sick to date, all guys are annoying, and I look hot.
here here! I like the direct way you handled that. I also hate when the are too affectionate in public, like trying to suck your face off in the street as you try to give a polite kiss goodnight. I have had this happen more than the other, and feel really uncomfortable with that as well.

If a guy acted like he wasn't with me in public, I would've written him off too.
post #145 of 171
Beloved~stay present. This man has taught you something important. Yes, you are very vulnerable and real and that is so normal. If you aren't getting what you need then move on and find that man who will give you everything you need. The important part is that we need to fufill that part of ourselves and to not settle for anything less. It will happen..
post #146 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
after we first started talking, he took his profile down from match.com, then i checked tonight and it is back up.

There is my answer. I am itching to email him, let him off the hook officially. I am instead going to force myself to go to bed now, though I have to admit I am more than a bit upset.
Sorry, Kelly...that really sucks.

Some men can be so spineless.
post #147 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
I'm sorry Beloved, i hope things pick up and get better!

I have gone out two more times since last week with my man. Things are going amazing and we have a really strong connection. It is so strange for me to have a man so interested in my needs and giving me so much attention. After 10 years of being ignored this is such a different thing for me.He is always taking the time to focus on me. He is romantic and sweet and just a lovely man. After such a build up of wondering if he even liked me or not, everything has just come full circle. He wants to spend alot of time with me and is very interested in incorporating the kids into it all. I'm very happy!
How wonderful for you! Enjoy it all...every single minute!
post #148 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
So I reported last week that my sweetheart of almost ten months and I broke up, and I'm happy to say today that after a loooonggggg talk last night I think we might just be okay. He came here, totally open, honest, and vulnerable and asked for another chance to make things right. Good thoughts and vibes will be much appreciated, but I really think we are going to be able to make things work.
Does this mean that he would consider marriage? Wasn't that the root of your breakup? Am I remembering correctly?
post #149 of 171
So...all is going well with S. It has been about 7 weeks since our first date.

Despite his ridiculously busy schedule (2 jobs, working 7 days a week), we pretty much see each other every night. If we do not see each other one night, we talk at the end of the day.

We have become quite 'domesticated'...he comes over, he has dinner with ds and I (depending on how late he is), ds goes to bed and then we work, chat on the couch about our days or watch mindless TV. It is easy...and very comfortable.

Honestly, it is just a really nice relationship. I love being with him. I LOVE listening to him talk about his day (I am so interested and fascinated by his profession!). I love the fact that I feel truly heard when I talk to him. He appreciates my honesty and ability to speak my mind. Etc, etc, etc.
post #150 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
So...all is going well with S. It has been about 7 weeks since our first date.

Despite his ridiculously busy schedule (2 jobs, working 7 days a week), we pretty much see each other every night. If we do not see each other one night, we talk at the end of the day.

We have become quite 'domesticated'...he comes over, he has dinner with ds and I (depending on how late he is), ds goes to bed and then we work, chat on the couch about our days or watch mindless TV. It is easy...and very comfortable.

Honestly, it is just a really nice relationship. I love being with him. I LOVE listening to him talk about his day (I am so interested and fascinated by his profession!). I love the fact that I feel truly heard when I talk to him. He appreciates my honesty and ability to speak my mind. Etc, etc, etc.
Holland - I'm really happy for you!
post #151 of 171
Ha ! I was right. The guy I thought was flirting with me, was. But he said he'd like to be friends with "an understanding" (friends with benefits).
Ugh.
Naw. I'm too fabulous and too busy for that!
post #152 of 171
Thread Starter 
So, I still haven't heard from this guy, I am considering emailing him to give him exactly how I THINK about how he has conducted himself in this situation. I am about to do it, should someone talk me out of it?
post #153 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
So, I still haven't heard from this guy, I am considering emailing him to give him exactly how I THINK about how he has conducted himself in this situation. I am about to do it, should someone talk me out of it?
Honestly, it is NOT worth your time.

Additionally, based on his behavior, I am thinking that he won't care what you think about his behavior. I am afraid, if you were to email him, you will come out looking bad.

Be the adult, keep your dignity and just let it go. He is NOT worthy of you, Kelly!
post #154 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
So, I still haven't heard from this guy, I am considering emailing him to give him exactly how I THINK about how he has conducted himself in this situation. I am about to do it, should someone talk me out of it?

don't do it!!!!
post #155 of 171
Thread Starter 
I actually wrote it up and thought it was really great, then I decided not to send it, really, what was the point? I just haven't had a situation like this since I was in my early 20's and maybe even late teens, the guys just could not , well.. WERE NOT mature. This guy should know better. He is just a coward and that is fine. I am better off. The thing is, I never even had the chance to see if I even really was into him. I know it sounds like I was, really, I was into the IDEA of being 'into' him For all I know, he was reading my posts here, all he had to do was google my username, I don't have anything to apologize for. I misread the situation and I am a communicator (he either is not, or just wasn't into me)

Whew, I am writing loonng sentences

I am not upset by him, but by the fact that I am in love with the idea of being in love. I get my hopes up and that is desperate. I know I say that I am not, but I guess I am.

No more though. If I meet someone, fine. I haven't the time for this sort of thing.

I am SOOO glad I read the draft of that email before I sent it, it would have been a huge mistake.
post #156 of 171
Quote:
Does this mean that he would consider marriage? Wasn't that the root of your breakup? Am I remembering correctly?
Oh, you're good! Yes, that was the root of our breakup, and yes, he wants to get married! Nothing set in stone yet, in fact, I've now told him that I want to table the discussion for a while and make sure he is sure, Sure, SURE of his feelings - I love him too much to ever have him look back and think that he was pushed into something that he really didn't want to do. Thanks for asking!
post #157 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
I've now told him that I want to table the discussion for a while and make sure he is sure, Sure, SURE of his feelings - I love him too much to ever have him look back and think that he was pushed into something that he really didn't want to do. Thanks for asking!
VERY smart idea!
post #158 of 171
Thread Starter 
so, he called, and told me that he was interested in me before the show, but ever since the concert, he just wanted to be friends. I don't know what I did wrong, I really don't. There was a change ever since then, but I thought things were going somewhere. He didn't tell me what happened for him, just that he wasn't interested


I feel like giving up, actually I do give up, I release this whole dating thing. I will still accept emails and such from match.com, but i will only answer if the guy seems FABULOUS, and even then maybe not.

I told him I felt the same way, I feel yechy and angry, but at least he is not a coward. I respect that he had the courage to actually CALL me and not email me, that would have been bad.

I feel like crying from disappointment

I need a friend and my best friend now has a gf, so he is no longer available to talk very often. I am feeling very loser-ish and I know better than to indulge these feelings. I just wish I had someone to talk to ...

ok, now I am

I wish I could go back to bed
post #159 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
so, he called, and told me that he was interested in me before the show, but ever since the concert, he just wanted to be friends. I don't know what I did wrong, I really don't.(
It's not about you. There is no wrong doing. He just decided this wasn't it. I know it feels personal right now, but it's not personal.

It's also so much better to have someone realize this early on, instead of waiting 10 years and saying, "I don't know if I ever loved you."

My favorite part of "He's Just Not That Into You" was when he said something to the effect of; and if he's not into you, it's good to move on, because then you'll be available when someone who is into you comes along.

I know it's hard to see the *up* side of things right now. Do something to pamper yourself tonight.
post #160 of 171
Thread Starter 
Thank you for responding so quickly. I know better than to indulge myself in feelings like this. I will move on. I actually just got that book and it is a hoot, so many truths there.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Single Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › March dating thread!!!