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March dating thread!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 171
Thread Starter 
so, I am home have been for a while now. We had a nice dinner and he was a pleasant surprise, very nice, intelligent and easy to talk to. There is chemistry, but there was no kissing (yet) We are going to see each other again soon.

I am tired, G'night
post #42 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
I just reread your post and everything in me wants to tell you to wait. Sometimes it is better to allow them to come to you, or like you said, initiate a conversation in person. I think if you called at this point, it may be offputting (it could be flattering, but if in the long term you want to possibly date this guy, I wouldn't take the chance) If he is out sick, he will be back, and he is not going anywhere (we hope) I would let him come to you somehow. Sure, be friendly and initiate a conversation, just don't call.....not yet. Remember that all I knw is what you've written.

hth
I agree. I wouldn't call. He needs to "chase" you first. If he is really into you...I SWEAR, he will make sure you know it.

This book is freqently recommended. It is a great book. Plus, it is an easy, quick read.
post #43 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
so, I am home have been for a while now. We had a nice dinner and he was a pleasant surprise, very nice, intelligent and easy to talk to. There is chemistry, but there was no kissing (yet) We are going to see each other again soon.

I am tired, G'night
post #44 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
so, I am home have been for a while now. We had a nice dinner and he was a pleasant surprise, very nice, intelligent and easy to talk to. There is chemistry, but there was no kissing (yet) We are going to see each other again soon.

I am tired, G'night
Yay!
post #45 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
How well do you know this guy? If you have friends in common and know each other well, then I would feel comfortable calling to see if there was anything I could do (if he is sick) well, I would be specific as in "I just made lasagne and I heard you were under the weather. I made extra and wondered if you would like for me to bring you some " That is just a silly example.

I just reread your post and everything in me wants to tell you to wait. Sometimes it is better to allow them to come to you, or like you said, initiate a conversation in person. I think if you called at this point, it may be offputting (it could be flattering, but if in the long term you want to possibly date this guy, I wouldn't take the chance) If he is out sick, he will be back, and he is not going anywhere (we hope) I would let him come to you somehow. Sure, be friendly and initiate a conversation, just don't call.....not yet. Remember that all I knw is what you've written.

hth
I agree, I wouldn't call him. You know he is interested, you will see him out again, just let it flow then.
post #46 of 171
Thread Starter 
ok, this is so sweet, he showed me alot of pics of his sweet looking kids on his phone. That is such a turn on how good of a dad he is. He told me a story about one of his kids and it is personal so I will not share, but as a result of that incident, he has a tattoo of one of his kid's art on his arm, it is of a monster and is so cool looking, he also has his kid's names in Chinese (he has two) He is working on a sleeve of tattoos (I lurv men with tattoos )

The only weird thing is that he looks ALOT like my brother and he even has some of his expressions, his name is even the same. When I look at him, he also DOESN't look like him, it is weird. They know each other well also, B played soccer w/ my brother years ago and I can't wait to ask B( my brother) about him. Isn't that strange syncronicity? (sp?)

I don't know, I am definitely playing this one out, he wants to see me again, and wants to take me to this concert and is already telling me about his friends and how he hopes I get the chance to meet them someday

It's been so long since I have dated someone and I have forgotten how, also dating as a single parent. He will be a GREAT influence on my kids, I can just tell, though I will wait a LONG time till i introduce them, that would be too risky.

What do you guys think of the brother issue? that is strange i'll have to admit.
post #47 of 171
Well, my first husband resembled my older brother. It was noticeable at first but the more time i spent with him the thought faded. His other traits came out as we got to know each other and then he really just became Mike and not someone who looked like my brother. When i took him home to meet my family everyone said "wow, he looks like your brother". It was a bit of a joke for awhile but not in a bad way. But he was so different in every other way and everyone adored him that it truly faded after awhile. It seriously became a nonissue and i never thought about it again until you just brought this up. I say spend more time with him and see if you are comfortable with this after a few more dates.

I used to be madly in lust with this one beautiful redheaded man. We had a deep connection and spent alot of time together but we evenutally drifted apart. A few years later i met my second husband who was the spitting image of this man and i do believe that is why i ended up with him because i really wanted to recreate what i had with the first man. well they were very different from each other but we always had great physical chemistry. Just to give you another perspective and not in the perspective of wanting to recreate something with your brother

So, i have not called him yet. We do have friends in common, my closest friend is actually good friends with him but she doesn't live here anymore but is in touch with him. I live in a very small community full of super supportive people so to get a phone call from someone at the school ( very small charter waldorf school) offering to bring soup and tea is pretty normal. I met a single dad the other day who offered to hang out with my kids if i ever wanted to go out and do something alone, that is how open and supportive the community is! His phone number is easy to come by because we have a phone tree of everyone at the school, students, parents, teachers. So it wouldn't be creepy or stalker like. How well do i know him Well i met him a few times through my friend and then after that we ran into each other at school. Back in Nov we ran into each other outside of school and we were having a great talk and he asked him how many kids i had, he made it sound like he was single with everything he was saying ( i was unsure if he was) and then he asked if i wanted to do a playdate with him. After that we talked more and there was always an intense connection. Then xmas break came and he left for a month. When he came back i didn't really interact with him because i had gotten word through some friends that he may still be with the mother of his babe. Then a month ago i couldn't deny the energy that was between us and we started talking again (at school mostly) and i asked about the playdate we had discussed before and he said he needed to wait till basketball was over(he coaches) in March and then he was totally into it. Since then we always run into each other and there is some intense energy there and it is really undeniable. My friend came to town and hung out with him and she asked him what he thought of me (!). He said he was really attracted to me and that he felt a strong connection but he was intimidated by the amount of kids i had. I asked her what she got from the conversation and she said that it wasn't a long conversation but she thought i should start with the playdate and spend time getting to know him and then go from there so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable with all the kids i have. I almost feel a sense of urgency with making it known that i want to spend time getting to know him because he is single and this is a small town and when an amazing single dad is available there are like 50 women ready to get him! I have already heard, around school, that there are a lot of women who want to be with him. So if i want a chance i could pursue him or i could sit back and see if he does the pursuing. I kind of feel like that is old school and i am an adult and there is nothing wrong with doing the pursuing but on the other hand i do believe that guys are more intrigued by doing the pursuing.

That was longwinded, sorry. Does that help with more background?
post #48 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
ok, this is so sweet, he showed me alot of pics of his sweet looking kids on his phone. That is such a turn on how good of a dad he is. He told me a story about one of his kids and it is personal so I will not share, but as a result of that incident, he has a tattoo of one of his kid's art on his arm, it is of a monster and is so cool looking, he also has his kid's names in Chinese (he has two) He is working on a sleeve of tattoos (I lurv men with tattoos )

The only weird thing is that he looks ALOT like my brother and he even has some of his expressions, his name is even the same. When I look at him, he also DOESN't look like him, it is weird. They know each other well also, B played soccer w/ my brother years ago and I can't wait to ask B( my brother) about him. Isn't that strange syncronicity? (sp?)

I don't know, I am definitely playing this one out, he wants to see me again, and wants to take me to this concert and is already telling me about his friends and how he hopes I get the chance to meet them someday

It's been so long since I have dated someone and I have forgotten how, also dating as a single parent. He will be a GREAT influence on my kids, I can just tell, though I will wait a LONG time till i introduce them, that would be too risky.

What do you guys think of the brother issue? that is strange i'll have to admit.
I'm so glad you had a great time, he sounds like a really great guy (and dad). The brother thing will fade the more time you spend with him. I wouldn't worry about it.

So when do you think you'll see him again?
post #49 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
He said he was really attracted to me and that he felt a strong connection but he was intimidated by the amount of kids i had.

I almost feel a sense of urgency with making it known that i want to spend time getting to know him
5 kids would definitely be intimidating to a single man. Heck, they would intimidate me if I were to date a man with 5 kids. BUT, if I was really into/drawn to that person, it would not hold me back.

IMHO, I would sit back and let him make the first move. He needs to come to you...show how interested he is in you. Give him a chance to work through the fact that you have 5 kids.

Be careful with that "sense of urgency." You don't want to rush into something just because of some small-town, female-to-male ratio desperation.
post #50 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

What do you guys think of the brother issue? that is strange i'll have to admit.
I agree with Cycle. The brother thing will fade once you get to know him better.

I am so excited for you. How awesome to hear about a man so connected with his children!
post #51 of 171
Thanks, why the need for letting men make the first move? Is that always necessary? That is where i feel like a high schooler again because it seems like at our age we should be able to just say hey i dig you, wanna hang out?
post #52 of 171
Still laying my eggs in the basket of online dating. I have met one guy who really digs me and he is okay. I am not seeing spending the rest of my life with him, but there is another guy...

He is so sincere, very simple, sweet and thoughtful... I think I may be smitten with him. We are set to go out tonight and I am so excited. I think that is a good sign. He really makes me smile...
post #53 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
What do you guys think of the brother issue? that is strange i'll have to admit.
I think it will pass with time as he comes into his own with you. This is so sweet.
post #54 of 171
Bummed about my dating situation.

I've been dating someone for ~2 months. I like him. We had a really great time last Friday. Then I barely hear from him the rest of the week. He does tell me it's a terrible week and he'll tell me more later. Finally, yesterday, I tell him I'm confused and I wish he would explain.

So he tells me he lost his job yesterday and will call me at some point to explain.

WTH?

I'm just sad about this. I wish he would talk to me. I hope he's ok.
post #55 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
Bummed about my dating situation.

I've been dating someone for ~2 months. I like him. We had a really great time last Friday. Then I barely hear from him the rest of the week. He does tell me it's a terrible week and he'll tell me more later. Finally, yesterday, I tell him I'm confused and I wish he would explain.

So he tells me he lost his job yesterday and will call me at some point to explain.

WTH?

I'm just sad about this. I wish he would talk to me. I hope he's ok.
post #56 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bad Mama Jama View Post
Still laying my eggs in the basket of online dating. I have met one guy who really digs me and he is okay. I am not seeing spending the rest of my life with him, but there is another guy...

He is so sincere, very simple, sweet and thoughtful... I think I may be smitten with him. We are set to go out tonight and I am so excited. I think that is a good sign. He really makes me smile...
make sure to keep us posted
post #57 of 171
Thread Starter 
Avani, it does sound like it would be okay to give him a casual phone call, but I agree that the sense of urgency can be detected and always throws a weird energy into the situation, just be careful I think directness is good, but I have had it bite me in the butt before when I needed to be playing my cards closer to my chest. It wasn't the end of the world, I just think I could've saved mysel some grief, but then again how would I have learned?

I wish you the best and if you feel in your heart that you guys have a connection and that it is a good idea to call him, then follow your instinct
post #58 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
I agree with Cycle. The brother thing will fade once you get to know him better.

I am so excited for you. How awesome to hear about a man so connected with his children!
I know I am really hoping that the brother thing will fade. I feel better reading what you all have written He emailed me and I felt a flip, this is good.
post #59 of 171
It will fade for sure, at the most i would glance at him every now and again and be reminded but they were sooo different in every other way.

Bug you sound sad, i hope today brings you a lighter feeling.

I feel better today, i meditated last night on the whole situation and i feel more at peace. If we are meant to have each other in our lives then it will work out. Either way if he ends up as a friend in my life then i would be blessed. My oldest daughter is special needs, she has the mental capacity of a 4 year old but is in a 10 year olds body. He has been teaching her basketball at the school and he is so sweet to her. I love that because so many people are put off by her because she doesn't seem to be special needs on the outside and they always push her away. He didn't. She always wanders into the gym while i am picking up my other kids and one day i walked in there to get her and he was teaching her bball. Apparently he has been doing this for awhile and i didn't know He is a really good person.

I am filling my life with friends right now and that is what feels best. If one of those friends turns out to be more, then great. I think it was Oh The Irony who said that being a single mom has a bad ass vibe and i totally get that. But a man would be very nice
post #60 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
It will fade for sure, at the most i would glance at him every now and again and be reminded but they were sooo different in every other way.

Bug you sound sad, i hope today brings you a lighter feeling.

I feel better today, i meditated last night on the whole situation and i feel more at peace. If we are meant to have each other in our lives then it will work out. Either way if he ends up as a friend in my life then i would be blessed. My oldest daughter is special needs, she has the mental capacity of a 4 year old but is in a 10 year olds body. He has been teaching her basketball at the school and he is so sweet to her. I love that because so many people are put off by her because she doesn't seem to be special needs on the outside and they always push her away. He didn't. She always wanders into the gym while i am picking up my other kids and one day i walked in there to get her and he was teaching her bball. Apparently he has been doing this for awhile and i didn't know He is a really good person.

I am filling my life with friends right now and that is what feels best.
If one of those friends turns out to be more, then great. I think it was Oh The Irony who said that being a single mom has a bad ass vibe and i totally get that. But a man would be very nice
yeah , that I have a good feeling for you. Sometimes things move slowly though, so don't be discouraged (((hugs)))
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