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March dating thread!!! - Page 5

post #81 of 171
not dating as dh and I are giving it another shot in our spare time.....
but if you are looking for men I took dc for breakfast at a breakfast joint this morning at 9am..
near the firestation....
yep it was filled with yummy
post #82 of 171
Just wanted to poke my head in and read what's going on with everyone. I've always felt like this summer is when I'll be ready to date. Just gearing up and have been working on the things I need to to get to that point. I'm worried that ex wants me back now that we are friends again. Kind of feel like I want an imaginary bf to avoid that situation. How unhealthy is that? I know I should NOT consider my ex, but it's been on my mind a lot, and you get so comfortable with someone, and since he was my first love, I must remind myself that I am capable of feeling love for other men. I just am NOT attracted to the average man, mentally. I need a man who's crunchy, and out there and totally not mainstream. So before when I dated men who were mainstream, it made my ex look pretty dang good. ugh.
post #83 of 171
Thread Starter 
This whole thing is great and all, but he isn't good at answering emails or keeping in touch though I am not worried, but I like to communicate more. I think he is a bit guarded and that is why he moves slow, I can tell. I also THINK I can tell that he likes me, I hope my judgement is not off because I like him

We have plans for this Tuesday and I need to know what time, stuff like that and he has his boys and I think that is why he is not keeping in touch : He is also busy on 2 soccer teams and really engages with his boys when he has them (which is often)

This is not new, he has been this way since I first met him, but it is a bit unsettling when I look forward to am email and it is not there.

I am sometimes direct and I sometimes let things go, I wonder if this is something I should just let go, you know, choose my battles.
post #84 of 171
Beloved K: Wow. What you just described is exactly how it is for me with the guy I have been seeing. Just not a lot of communication between seeing each other. And we've actually been seeing each other since end of December (not meaning to use any particular terminology here, just mean that we 1st met in person then). I know for a fact that is very cautious and that he too is involved with his kids when he has them, which is 50% of the time. But I hear you... I still don't know the best way to handle it. Mostly I've let it go. And sometimes I feel totally fine about that. But like you, I do sometimes want more more communication. Especially now.

No answers! Just sharing!

Oh, I've learned, btw, that in guy world, Tuesday is still a long time away. Those are times that I sometimes speak up, because I have childcare to arrange.

Anyway, it sounds good. and I've also learned, that in many ways slow is good. So enjoy! Keep us posted!
Robin
post #85 of 171
I've been avoiding this thread....My sweetheart and I broke up on Monday, after being together for about ten months. I am utterly heartbroken. I understand and I don't fault him - it came down to the fact that I want to get married again someday, and he doesn't think he can ever give me that. He was honest and true to himself. It just sucks because I love him with my entire heart and I have had the *best* time while we were together.
post #86 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jyotsna View Post
ICK, I can't imagine what was said to you, Bad Mama Jama, but I am glad you found the "BLOCK" button. I haven't tried Plenty of Fish, because of the mixed reviews.

And Bad Mama Jama, I am so glad there is someone else who is experiencing the same thing. It is odd meeting someone this way. I have never done this before, but honest the more I listen, the more I learn that this is how to meet people, when there is no one in your own community that you are interested in.
Yea, he was pretty gross and I cannot even imagine meeting him live and direct. He would have probably been one of those who spends most of the date drooling over your body. Yuck!

I, too came to that conclusion about casting a wider net after a friend of mine told me to give it a try. I just don't attract people. Don't get me wrong, but people are intimidated by me or usually think I am taken, but alas, I am not. They just don't bother. Or they think that I couldn't possibly dig a regular working guy. That he would have to be a doctor or lawyer or something. I just want a warm, caring guy who is family-oriented and he has to be hard-working and generous. I am pretty simple that way.

I am supposed to be going out this evening with him, so I will report back...
post #87 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
I've been avoiding this thread....My sweetheart and I broke up on Monday, after being together for about ten months. I am utterly heartbroken. I understand and I don't fault him - it came down to the fact that I want to get married again someday, and he doesn't think he can ever give me that. He was honest and true to himself. It just sucks because I love him with my entire heart and I have had the *best* time while we were together.
Sorry mama, that is soooo hard. I made sure in the beginning that bf wanted more kids, which is what was important to me, not marriage, and he did. After awhile I could not remember what exactly he said, so I asked him straight out again, he said he did want to have babies with me, so I was relieved. That would be a dealbreaker.
post #88 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
I've been avoiding this thread....My sweetheart and I broke up on Monday, after being together for about ten months. I am utterly heartbroken. I understand and I don't fault him - it came down to the fact that I want to get married again someday, and he doesn't think he can ever give me that. He was honest and true to himself. It just sucks because I love him with my entire heart and I have had the *best* time while we were together.
I am so sorry There is nothing to say, I feel for you Good for you though for standing up strong for what you know you ultimately want .
post #89 of 171
Thread Starter 
well, still no email I must say, I am really surprised, I thought i had better intuition than this. I am always open to different guys, aand really, I am fine with NO guy, but this is starting to disappoint me.
post #90 of 171
Thank you, Spring Sun and BelovedK. I guess in my head I know that this is right, but my heart is having a hard time with it. I just love that little turd so much! I'm also not entirely sure it's what he really wants - part of me thinks he is just freaked out because of being hurt in the past. If only I was a mind-reader! Or could do Tarot cards! Or whatever! Part of me thinks it might not really be over and the other part thinks it definitely is...If anyone has any psychic abilities they'd like to share with me, feel free!
post #91 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
Thank you, Spring Sun and BelovedK. I guess in my head I know that this is right, but my heart is having a hard time with it. I just love that little turd so much! I'm also not entirely sure it's what he really wants - part of me thinks he is just freaked out because of being hurt in the past. If only I was a mind-reader! Or could do Tarot cards! Or whatever! Part of me thinks it might not really be over and the other part thinks it definitely is...If anyone has any psychic abilities they'd like to share with me, feel free!
I do Tarot cards. Maybe tonight I could give it a whirl. PM me (I am busy all day, but may be tonight)
post #92 of 171
Marissa i'm sorry. ((Hugs)) Can't you both just give it more time and evolve from there? Maybe he needs another few years, you are still young

My date is set for Thursday. I confronted him last week and asked when we were going to get together and he said since he had just been out sick for over a week and he was really behind on lots of things and needed to get caught up and that we should do something on wed or thurs. I told him ok, i'm flexible but let's do something! Everytime i saw him last week at school he would walk up to me and talk to me and he would always touch my arm to say goodbye. So after our one talk about going out i was a bit worried that he was a bit flaky about committing to an actual date. Then my friend told me that he was an aquarius which put a spin on that. My 2 ex husbands are aquarians. They were both spacy and had very little awareness of time. Yikes! THe next morning i ran into him at the coffeeshop and the first thing he said to me was that he would call me this weekend and we would discuss the details of our date i decided to take control (which in my experience is necessary with aquarians) and said that Thursday was great for me and we should go to the brewery for a little while. For me, i feel really intimidated going out to dinner for a first date, so formal in a way. And trying to eat and get to know someone freaks me out. So i thought maybe having conversation over a beer would be easy and comfortable. He had this amusing twinkle in his eye when i said this, so he must get my drift on this situation. So, i hope he is going to call and get this all worked out. Either way i am excited and nervous all at once!
post #93 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post
well, still no email I must say, I am really surprised, I thought i had better intuition than this. I am always open to different guys, aand really, I am fine with NO guy, but this is starting to disappoint me.
You have only been out on 1 date with him, correct? How long since your last communication...phone, email, etc?

Do you feel comfortable saying something to him? Perhaps you need to be more direct with him? Direct, but not accusatory or "needy." Does that make sense?

I know that S is always very thankful, responsive and appreciative when I tell him exactly what is on my mind...or my concerns.

I completely understand the need for more communication and the disappointment of not receiving it.
post #94 of 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmace View Post
I guess in my head I know that this is right, but my heart is having a hard time with it.
I also went through such a break-up, due to chronic, no-end-in-sight long distance-ness.

It is the hardest kind of break-up!
post #95 of 171
mmace-that's so hard. I'm sending you healing vibes.

Beloved K-I am totally with you on the looking forward to e-mails and not getting them. Sounds like he's busy but I know that doesn't make it less annoying.

Ahem...would you mind doing some Tarot for me??? Pretty please?

Can you do them on yourself?
post #96 of 171
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland73 View Post
You have only been out on 1 date with him, correct? How long since your last communication...phone, email, etc?

Do you feel comfortable saying something to him? Perhaps you need to be more direct with him? Direct, but not accusatory or "needy." Does that make sense?

I know that S is always very thankful, responsive and appreciative when I tell him exactly what is on my mind...or my concerns.

I completely understand the need for more communication and the disappointment of not receiving it.
I've only been out with him twice, but there is a definite connection and mutual interest. I don't want to be needy so I decided that I will only leave him a voice mail tomorrow when he is at work (and not answering) asking him about the details of our date Tuesday night so I can tell the sitter, plain and simple.

Once we are closer, or when the timing feels right, I will tell him that I need more communication, even if it is just a quick check in. I realized that I was starting to get needy and have stopped it, I TRULY like my life as it is, and don't NEED a bf. I just want that experience again, and if it isn't him, then at least I am one more guy away from it (I know I have said that many times before)
post #97 of 171
Thread Starter 
I just re read my last post I think it sounds like I am jumping too far ahead with this guy, I DO remain realistic, but I am honest about what I need and if he and I are going to hang out, I want some 'check in' It is just a desire of mine, a need that I have in an intimate relationship (we are not near there yet). I am not some loon that needs to be called every day (but I admit, I would like the kind of relationship that is a daily one) I am not a control freak, I just like to know where it is that things stand. I am the same way with friends, I like to know what kind of friendship it is. Some friendships are low daily contact, but when you get together you take up where you left off...others are daily, coffee-buddy, emails and phone calls types of friendships. I am okay with both, I just would like to know.
post #98 of 171
Do you think you just need the validation that he feels something too? I wish i had advice for that situation but i guess i feel like i totally understand where you are coming from and i also know that guys do not feel as compelled to touch in with us daily like we kind of want.

So he just called! Yay Thursday night it is at 7pm. I am most worried about my 16 month old. He is fully nursed and has never really been with anyone else. I don't want to traumatize him but i really want to do this date. He knows the people who are going to watch him and my friend has even agreed to nurse him. I just pray it goes smoothly cuz if this date goes well there will be more!
post #99 of 171
the man I just began seeing (sort of,we just started chatting in Jan and have been out together a few times since). anyway, he is having a bday in a week or so. any ideas for gifts that don't cost a fortune? would it be weird if I just crocheted him a blanket and baked him cookies? totally cheesy? what should I do? I was wanting to make him some food for the freezer (he is alone half the week and eats crackers for dinner) but my stove caught fire so cooking is out for now! though I may be able to do some crock pot stuff possibly..I can bake cookies in my toaster oven in any case!

the only other idea I had was getting him an edible (fruit) bouquet or flowers. or is that weird for a man?

need ideas! TIA!
post #100 of 171
Thread Starter 
Just a real quick check in.

He emailed (finally) It is not something he thinks about (the 'check ins') I am not (NOT) saying anything and won't until I know him better, and for longer.


I am glad I did not call, or email.
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