When will you tell the older siblings?

[Bella Catalina]

Just wondering when everyone plans to tell their children about the new sibling on the way?

We've already told Adrian. I know a lot of people wait because nine months is such a long time for a toddler, but it didn't feel right for me not to include him from the beginning. We don't talk about it much right now, but he knows there is a baby (he says 2 babies lol) in Mommy's belly. As time progresses we'll start looking at books about new babies and siblings on the way and include him in pretty much everything. We're not completely sure if we'll have him at the birth yet, but most likely he will be there. I had told him about the baby we lost, too, though I am not sure how much he understands, but I've learned not to assume they can only grasp so much because he always surprises me

[tatgurl]

We haven't decided when we're going to tell the boys yet. I want to tell them before we tell anyone else, but I know that when we do tell them EVERYONE will know. They are 4 and 6 and I'm sure that it will come up at school. So when we're ready for everyone else to know, we'll tell them.

We will include them with everything. and hope to have them at the birth if they choose to.

[andi-mama]

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about

[Mrs-Mama]

Originally Posted by andi-mama

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about

: except that our DS is 23 months All we've said is that there is a baby in mama's tummy. He pulls up my shirt to look He's not so verbal yet so I'm not afraid of him telling anyone else before we're ready.

[jmo]

We'll tell dd (2.5) at the end of my first tri. We had told her about the babies that I lost and it was confusing and upsetting to her when I tried to explain the m/c's. This time I want to be sure everything is going to work out.

[nznavo]

I haven't posted here yet. I'm due Nov 4 but trying not to think about it too much for the next while.

Assuming all goes well, my son will be exactly 4 when the next one comes (they have the same due date!). I probably won't tell him until at least 4 months. I wouldn't want him to have to go through a loss with me.

[Alison]

I think I'll wait til end of first trimester as well. I'm not confident in this pregnancy yet, because it took us so long to achieve it. And I don't relish the idea of explaining miscarriage to DS. We're still coming to terms with the death of a pet, over a year ago, and it's a topic that keeps coming up again and again. It would just be too tough for me, so I'm waiting till the risk of miscarriage is reduced at the end of the first timester.

[AugustineM]

My kids are 20 months and 3.5, so I don't know when we'll tell them. Probably not really for a while. I'm also sort of wondering about this pg... wondering if it will stick. I know the 20 month old won't understand, but I'm sure DS will by the time the baby is close to here (he'll be 4).

[JeanineTheOT]

Originally Posted by andi-mama

We've told our son, but he's only 20 months old and really has no idea what we're talking about

Yeah, exactly. MY dd was actually there when I POAS, I took pics of her next to it. And she is obsessed with babies, so I dont think she understood the difference between talking about the "baby in mommys belly" and her baby dolls.

[tireesix]

DD1 has already worked it out (shes nearly 4). I asked her why she was reading my pregnancy book and she said 'because you have a baby in your tummy'...... So there we go.

She is absolutley fascinated by birth, when she was 18 months old she was there for DD2s birth so if all goes to plan with this baby, she might just get to see 2 naturalish births at home.....

[AladdinsLamp]

Ds is almost 3.

We have talked about that we are going to have a baby next year but we haven't said that the baby is in my tummy. I m/c-ed in the fall and was relieved that we had done it the same way so it wasn't a big deal to him that we lost the baby because he doesn't have the idea that the baby was here- I mean 9 months is so far away.

So now we just say, we are going to move and after that we are going to have a baby. This way if anything happens early on, he won't know the difference because I know we WILL have another child some day.

I guess when my tummy gets really big, then we'll tell him the baby is in there but not yet. He does know that he can't bf as much now because we need to save it for the new baby.

[because]

DD is 5 and DS is 2. They don't know yet but I think that we'll only be able to keep it from them for another couple of weeks. They're both verbal so once they know.... the world will know!

[Patchfire]

I will probably try to keep it from the kids as long as I can, because I'm not ready for the world at large to find out. This all depends on how nauseous I get, though, because dd is 7.5 and no slacker in the brains department, if you know what I mean. So we'll likely tell her first, and ask her not to say anything, and tell ds much later... even once he knows, I think it'll take a little while for it to sink in with him.

[sarahcecile]

We already told DD who is 27 months. She is very very verbal, and I am not worried about telling her, but I do sort of regret telling her as I'm not sure this babe will stick. I thought maybe she'd forgotten about it since I didn't told her 3 days ago and she hasn't mentioned it since, but today she asked me twice to
"pick her up with the baby". I asked "what baby" and she replied "your baby, the baby in Mama's belly" which broke my heart a little. She is such a little love, I hope this babe sticks so she has a sibling!

- Sarah

[Girl Named Sandoz]

I told my 5 year old son just after I told DH, which was just after I had my positive pregnancy test (at 10 dpo)! He is very excited. I told him that it's a secret for now and he can't tell anyone at school - and he hasn't!

Our families and a few close friends know already, I'm terrible at keeping a secret!

[buckysprplmonkey]

We're expecting a nephew- he's due on Easter day- and we want to wait at least until after he's born to tell my hubby's parents that they've got grandbaby #4 on the way too. Because we're waiting to tell other friends and family, we're not telling our girls yet either. My 7 year old can't keep a secret to save her life.

[natalieadw]

Originally Posted by Mrs-Mama

: except that our DS is 23 months All we've said is that there is a baby in mama's tummy. He pulls up my shirt to look He's not so verbal yet ....

Same here! I can ask her where the baby is, and she pulls up my shirt, kisses my flabby belly, then grabs a sneak peek at the na-na's and just HAS to nurse!

[buckysprplmonkey]

Originally Posted by natalieadw

Same here! I can ask her where the baby is, and she pulls up my shirt, kisses my flabby belly, then grabs a sneak peek at the na-na's and just HAS to nurse!

Ha ha ha ha ha. My 21 month old has the same irresistible urge to nurse when she sees "nuhnuhs." Makes showering interesting.

[natalieadw]

Originally Posted by buckysprplmonkey

Ha ha ha ha ha. My 21 month old has the same irresistible urge to nurse when she sees "nuhnuhs." Makes showering interesting.

It sure does!!! LOL! I have totally been tempted to shower with a swim suit top on just so she doesn't see them!

[LotusBirthMama]

I've told Casey...but he's only 12 months old, so I think he can keep a secret!

We will tell the other kids when we can't get away with hiding it anymore. They have always known right away and its been bad for several reasons.

1-I've lost 4 babies and the m/c's are hard on the kids, who tend to get really excited really quickly.

2- They tell EVERYONE as soon as they know. Even if we aren't ready for them too.

3-Nine months is a loooong time to a 10 and 5 year old. They go a little crazy towards the end.