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Bi-Mamas are Wearing the Green, March 08 - Page 2

post #21 of 69
yay cx

okay, i have a little time for details. I haven't been getting much sleep lately or having much time for internet... but this morning i had to get up early to do some work.

so! my wonderful goddess woman is from England, she has blonde hair longer than her butt, amazing big blue eyes, great figure with curves in all the right places, ahhhh...

and she really loves DD, which is totally mutual, and considers me her best friend, and she is good friends with DP (though he's o/s atm, so that side of things has yet to be tested).
anyway, I'm swimmingly happy, and floating around life like a silly thing. Even my psycho neighbour can't bother me now.

Actually in town the other day, a friend said that my neighbour had been putting the word out that she is looking for someone to rent my cottage while I'm away, "only a single working person, with no children, and able to do yard work"!!! how dare she!?!

last week hearing that would have put me into a terrible depressive spin, but now... I just laugh and shake my head

post #22 of 69
very cool!

What the heck is your neighbor lady thinking? I assume you guys pay rent to hold onto the place - and your things would be there. Um, freak.

Your ladyfriend sounds like tons of fun and thats great that she gets along so well with your little one - I sometimes wonder if that is a bigger hurtle than getting along with male DPs?
post #23 of 69

Oh majikfaerie! I am so jealous!

But at the same time i am HAPPY for you! Congratulations! I hope
it ends up being a long term mutual fulfilling relationship.

There are so many hurdles for me...aside from just current issues.
After current problems are resolved I am still left with these things.

1. Do you go through with a bi relationship, even if your partner says yes
but you still know it hurts them inside?

2. How to go about finding someone who isnt just interested in a one
dimensional physical relationship ( which i have found really frequently
in bi women )

3. I am not poly, how would this affect my husband? Is it possible
to be married and also have another completely seperate relationship?

gaaah!
post #24 of 69
Details! Now!

And congratulations
post #25 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanne D'Arc View Post

2. How to go about finding someone who isnt just interested in a one
dimensional physical relationship ( which i have found really frequently
in bi women )

3. I am not poly, how would this affect my husband? Is it possible
to be married and also have another completely seperate relationship?
[/COLOR][/FONT]
gaaah!
Question #2- eh... This is a hard one- it seems many women who are bi are in a relationship (mostly with a man) and for the "other" woman it is better for them not to get to attached because you already have a family- and a husband/live in partner. A one dimensional relationship is safer for them- ykwim? Less emotions in the long run to get stomped on. It is like- what do you want, a GF on the side- but where can that go? In reality most can not all live together without hurt feelings (this is a non triad we are talking about- like FF and FM household.) It is just more simple keeping it simple (as some would say) in a friends with bennies way.. (just to clarify- this is not MY thing, just my insight to the matter).

Question #3- You are ploy. You may not be/want a triad- or anything like that- but if you are seeking an open honest relationship outside your primary relationship (as in a secondary love, a Girlfriend your DP/DH knows about) this is a poly dynamic. Your dynamic you seek is a secondary relationship with a woman. Where your DH comes first, your family with him come first, but you seek another relationship with a woman- emotional and physical on the secondary level- that allows you to also have that relationship be open and honest with your DH.
post #26 of 69
tough questions, jeanne d'arc.

as to #1, i've btdt. when we lived in israel, after much discussion, arguments, and even a separation, DP agreed to let me date this woman I met. He had all these provisos, and it was clear that he wasn't happy about it, but we went ahead anyway.
it turned out to be a total disaster; DP was really unhappy, and kept trying to sabotage the relationship, I was stressed trying to juggle two loves who didn't get along, and she ended up breaking it off, because of him.
well, that was for the best; she wasn't really compatable with me, and got to be a bad relationship, even without the DP dramas. I just clung to the relationship because i was desperate to be with a woman

well, I guess the best thing is to be really open and honest about what's going on, and how you feel and how your DP feels.

for us, the bottom line was that DP wanted to be sure that I wouldn't leave him for whatever woman I might be with, and that he wouldn't be emotionally excluded from the relationship - he wanted to be friends with whoever it was, and to know that he's still number one in my heart.

It took a long time to manifest the perfect woman to fit that bill, but in the end, that is exactly what I've found.
post #27 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
tough questions, jeanne d'arc.

as to #1, i've btdt. when we lived in israel, after much discussion, arguments, and even a separation, DP agreed to let me date this woman I met. He had all these provisos, and it was clear that he wasn't happy about it, but we went ahead anyway.
it turned out to be a total disaster; DP was really unhappy, and kept trying to sabotage the relationship, I was stressed trying to juggle two loves who didn't get along, and she ended up breaking it off, because of him.
well, that was for the best; she wasn't really compatable with me, and got to be a bad relationship, even without the DP dramas. I just clung to the relationship because i was desperate to be with a woman

well, I guess the best thing is to be really open and honest about what's going on, and how you feel and how your DP feels.

for us, the bottom line was that DP wanted to be sure that I wouldn't leave him for whatever woman I might be with, and that he wouldn't be emotionally excluded from the relationship - he wanted to be friends with whoever it was, and to know that he's still number one in my heart.

It took a long time to manifest the perfect woman to fit that bill, but in the end, that is exactly what I've found.
I had a similar experience and lost an amazing friend because of it. I'd love to connect with someone again, though, now that I know what to better watch for :yep
post #28 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanne D'Arc View Post

Oh majikfaerie! I am so jealous!

But at the same time i am HAPPY for you! Congratulations! I hope
it ends up being a long term mutual fulfilling relationship.

There are so many hurdles for me...aside from just current issues.
After current problems are resolved I am still left with these things.

1. Do you go through with a bi relationship, even if your partner says yes
but you still know it hurts them inside?

2. How to go about finding someone who isnt just interested in a one
dimensional physical relationship ( which i have found really frequently
in bi women )

3. I am not poly, how would this affect my husband? Is it possible
to be married and also have another completely seperate relationship?

gaaah!


Ditto, Jeanne! I am curious to know where you stand on #1 and if it's ever come close in real life because of what you express in #2. I am not poly either, so to #3, I think it would still have a shroud of secrecy (if I could even get the ball rolling on this...)
post #29 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberry.swirl View Post
Ditto, Jeanne! I am curious to know where you stand on #1 and if it's ever come close in real life because of what you express in #2. I am not poly either, so to #3, I think it would still have a shroud of secrecy (if I could even get the ball rolling on this...)
i've done the shroud of secrecy thing on #3 once as well.
it was a total disaster, sneaking around like a teenager, and not having much time to see each other.
then when she broke up with me, I was devastated, and couldn't show it.
IME, not a good idea.
honesty is always best.
post #30 of 69
Quote:
Ditto, Jeanne! I am curious to know where you stand on #1 and if it's ever come close in real life because of what you express in #2. I am not poly either, so to #3, I think it would still have a shroud of secrecy (if I could even get the ball rolling on this...)
Maybe I am a moron but I am not sure what you mean. Is there a way
you could reword this? I am confused .
post #31 of 69
subbing
post #32 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanne D'Arc View Post
Maybe I am a moron but I am not sure what you mean. Is there a way
you could reword this? I am confused .
Basically, I wanted to know your answers to the questions you posted. I had hastily posted that reply, sorry about that.
post #33 of 69
checking in, I hadn't been in this forum in a long time until last night. Didn't know there was a monthly bimama's thread.
post #34 of 69
okay, I've not been around much lately, mostly due to being mind-shatteringly in love with my lovely girlfriend. we don't seem to get out of bed much lately.

I've been feeling so great; somehow liberated and fulfilled and joyous!

only she left. :
we didn't break up, she just went to a festival down south... and I am going overseas in 2 weeks, so I won't see her till we come back in July.
So there's stil hope for my bevy of stalkers
post #35 of 69
Thread Starter 
MJ, you know I love you and stalk you (or at the very least, : your posts ) on this thread. So while I'm uber happy for your bliss, I'm also... : that your haven't posted more. I love you, but share with us this new woman! I don't need detail, just simple things -- the joy, elation, how you feel, what it's like, what you anticipate this new dilemma to be like...

And, do you feel poly now?
post #36 of 69
ok heket, what was it about the african american pot and what did she say to the dark-skinned kettle?

aren't you the trailblazer here who got a gf (albeit long-dist) and hardly ever posted anymore... on the tribe *you* started, I might add
just zing

Well, I guess I am poly now. but I never in my life considered myself to be monogamous. I was just a "lesbian-identifying woman married to a monogamous man" : but since I have a GF and DP is okay with that, then yeah, I spose it makes us officially 'poly'.

and yes, there is joy, elation, bliss, calm, ecstasy...
I think the beautiful thing is that we were very good friends who really loved each other before this blossomed into a physical relationship. I've never had that before.
Rapunzel (my internet nickname for my darling gf), had been living with us on and off for a few months, and is really good friends with DP and really loves DD too. DD thinks of her as like a second mama

Even though she's gone now, I still feel this loving bliss of her prescence. It's truly blessed and I feel finally like I'm able to really express myself, for who I am. It's so much fun to be in love.

Hopefully when we're all back again, Rapunzel will come and live with us and we'll be one big happy family but I'll just wait and see. I don't feel any attachment. like, somehow I opened this side of me up, and I don't need to keep "getting the fix" to maintain that happiness.

well, I'm not explaining myself too well... I'm such a dippy bliss ninny these days :nana:
post #37 of 69
"I don't feel any attachment. like, somehow I opened this side of me up, and I don't need to keep "getting the fix" to maintain that happiness."

i like this statement.....i feel the same way about my love....


"dippy bliss ninny"
great choice of words!
post #38 of 69


Its been a long time since I have posted around here. Things are going very well here. I am in a new chapter at this time, and one I never would have saw coming 6 months ago. I hope everyone is well. I should really start coming by here more often. Maybe I will after my weekend get away with DD.
post #39 of 69
sub a dub a doo
post #40 of 69
welcome

I had a nice talk with DD this evening.
I was watching an episode of Queer as Folk, and DD walked over right when there was a scene with a man shouting abuse and attacking his son, who he just found out was gay.
DD of course wanted to know what was going on and why the man was so angry.
So I told her that his son is gay and that makes him feel confronted and uncomfortable.
She asked what is gay, and I told her it means people who like to make love with people of the same sex, like men with men and women with women. Like me.
She said, "oh, well I don't mind if you're gay, mama. you're allowed to be. You can love whoever you want to."
awwwww :
then she said, "I'm not gay"
I asked her if that means she's straight, and she goes,
"no silly, I'm just a child. I don't make love with anyone. Just when I pretend to be a princess. but only pretending"
:
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