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Large Families

post #1 of 62
Thread Starter 
I didn't really know where to post this, but I hope here is alright. If I need to post this somewhere else someone please tell me and I will. Or someone can move it for me. Anyway, I have noticed that there are a lot of families on here that have more than the average 1.5 children. I have always wanted a big family. I have hated and still hate being an only child. And I love kids and I've just always wanted to be a momma. Anyway, are there any families with a bunch of kids on here. That's really interpretive I guess, but my definition would be families with 6 or more children. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion on big families, either totally for or totally against. What's your opinion? I personally would love to have 12 or so children. Also, I have noticed a lot of large families do not use birth control for religious reasons. Being agnostic, this really isn't a factor in my decision. WDYT? Let's discuss!
post #2 of 62
Well I only have 5, ages 10,6,5,3, and almost 6 months. I love having children and didn't decide that I was finished until my c-section Sept 07. For me I just felt like I was never through and didn't ever want to feel like that doorway was closed. I'm 33, since January. Who knows, if not fo the section I probably could have had 10
post #3 of 62
Dh and I plan on having 4. (I know that's not big for you, but to a lot of people, it is.) We also plan on adopting 2 of those 4. Our reason is because we would like a larger family, but we also understand that there are children out there that need homes, and we are wanting to provide a family to those in need.
post #4 of 62
Thread Starter 
Yeah, I totally agree with the PP on the adoption thing. I want to adopt some also.
post #5 of 62
My mom has 12 kids, 2 of which are adopted. The youngest will be 3 on the 18th. (I'm 24) I like having a bunch of brothers and sisters. My mom has always used natural family planning. in fact, I think almost all of the big families I know use NFP. There are those who call it BC and those who insist it isn't the same thing, because it doesn't screw with your body or override natural functions/consequences.
I personally think that NFP is the best way to go; half of that is for religious reasons; the other half is that it just makes sense. I don't like injecting or ingesting artificial anything, because I don't think there's been a lot of research or critical thinking put into most of it. Why would I make an exception for BC?
Also most of the big families I know practice what is called "ecological breastfeeding" as an aid to NFP, because when you breastfeed like that, then it's a natural way of stopping ovulation-- automatic baby spacing, basically. it usually works for about 14-24 months after baby's born, so it tends to space kids about 2-3 years apart with hardly any effort.
The only book I've seen about it, Natural Baby Spacing or something like that, has a lot of religious references in it in regards to why, but nevertheless, the actual science behind it is sound, and you can ignore all the "god's plan" this that and the other thing, and think of it instead as "nature's plan".

Also, one other thing that I notice is that most families with 6+ kids have a stay at home parent (mine was my dad, most of the others were either split sometimes mom sometimes dad, or moms)
Are you planning on being a SAHM?

My DH and I are planning on about 5, maybe 6 kids... Unless something catastrophic happens and the world as we know it ends, in which case, we may have as many as 10.
post #6 of 62
Thread Starter 
I want to be a SAHM, but it's really whatever works out best for our family. Like if I have better work opportunities or a better salary, then I will work and DH will stay home. But I am selfish and want to be with my babies 24/7. I would also like to use NFP. Pretty much anything with the word natural in it I like, lol. Drugs are chemicals, and putting chemicals into your body is always risky. Also, people say they have to take "the pill". People (well, some people) take pills when they are sick. Are you sick b/c you might get pregnant? Oh, wait that's the way your body is supposed to work! So, people take the pill so their body WON'T work correctly! Oh, that totally makes sense. : And it also irks me how men with a vasectomy or women with their tubes tied are said to be "fixed". That irks me for two reasons. (1) It implies that a correctly functioning body is not that, but broken, with the need to be fixed. (2) Dogs and cats get "fixed". I am not a cat or a dog. I am a human being. Anyway, I rant. Sorry. Continue. I love hearing from you all.
post #7 of 62
We have 4 and another due this month...we will have at LEAST one more beyond this. In a PERFECT world I'd just keep taking them as they come though.
post #8 of 62
Hello! We have six! We have 2 girls 20 months and almost 9. We have 4 boys 3,4,11,almost 15.

We have been thru some rough times but overall I feel very blessed by our choice to have this many kids.....
post #9 of 62
Oh Oh, Oh count me in!!!! Honestly, Honestly, I want to have as many kids as I can until I hit menopasue. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE children and I LOVE my baby!! He's now 21 mo and we have been trying for #2 since he was a year. I want many mnay kids, like 15, 16? maybe even 17 or 18, I'm 22 so its plausable. Dakota brings me much joy, why wouldn't I want more joy in my life?
post #10 of 62
Thread Starter 
Natural Momma of 1, you sound just like me. Don't you hate it when people say "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and laugh and kind of smirk. Like we're stupid. I hate that.
post #11 of 62
I grew up in a large family, 7 kids. I didn't have a great childhood. My brothers were abusive and my mom had mental problems and we seemed to have a single parent even before my parents divorced. It is very very hard to have that many children. You have to be completely committed and dedicated to being a good mom. You will need to live a completely selfless life for many decades. If you are ready and willing to support all your children in a healthy (physical and mental) way of life, then go for it! I'm not saying you shouldn't have a large family, just be aware of some of the drawbacks from someone who lived it and was always lost in the crowd.
post #12 of 62
i agree with the pp, the commitment of the parents really matter. i am the oldest of 5, and i really feel like our parents weren't prepared to have that many. there were many times when no one came to my school events, etc because there just weren't enough parents to go around and as you can see it still bothers me! even now, as a 29 year old, i still feel like i miss out sometimes. most of my friends' moms came to stay with them when they had their babies- not my mom. she couldn't because she had already missed several days of work due to my youngest brother being ill and didn't want to ask for more days off. that was hard for me.
at the same time, i do love having my siblings. we don't all hang out, but we get along well and all of us are very close to at least one sibling and that's a great thing. i plan to have 3 or 4 kids, but i have a very involved dh and i am very aware that i'll want to be more 'fair.'
post #13 of 62
Originally Posted by pajamajes View Post
Natural Momma of 1, you sound just like me. Don't you hate it when people say "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and laugh and kind of smirk. Like we're stupid. I hate that.
ME TOO! I don't have any kids and when I say I want 6 people tell me, "Yeah. Right. Just wait till you have ONE." Right, like I just picked that number out of a hat and gave it no real thought...
post #14 of 62
I grew up in a family of 6, and I now have 4 of my own. There are benefits and draw backs to every size of family. I personally love four, and at the moment don't desire more, but give me another year.
post #15 of 62
My mom grew up as an only child and she always wanted 12 kids, which she had. There were 6 boy and 6 girls in my family growing up. It was tough as a child, but not because of my mom. She was awesome but bio-dad was...well, let's just say he went to jai for his lack of parenting skills. I love having so many siblings now that we are older too.

I would love to have a large family as well, but my body simply won't allow me to.
post #16 of 62
Originally Posted by anne1140 View Post
Dh and I plan on having 4. (I know that's not big for you, but to a lot of people, it is.) We also plan on adopting 2 of those 4. Our reason is because we would like a larger family, but we also understand that there are children out there that need homes, and we are wanting to provide a family to those in need.
WOAH! I think that there are a lot of people (especially on mothering) that have this same opinion, we are planning on ONLY having 2 and adopting the rest. I would like about 5. (who am i kidding at least 5) but DH and I both fell that we cannot and will not contribute to this outrageous population explosion. Plus with all the crap that my body give me TTC #1 i will be lucky to have one bio-kid! kudos to you anne1140!
post #17 of 62
We qualify. We will probably adopt/foster when we can no longer have bio kids. Its like the army, the toughest job you'll ever love. Every child makes our circle of love (and pile of laundry) larger. I thought the 2nd child was the hardest. I agree about getting "fixed" and find chemical and mechanical (IUDs) BC personally morally offensive (I'm not telling anyone else what to do...) bcause they are abortifacents. BTW google overpopulation myth. In about 50 yrs world population will probably be dropping like a stone. Suggesting overpopulation for fertility choices is rather like insisting the Earth is flat. It is based on the incorrect theory by Thomas Malthus that Food will increase mathematically while population will increase geometrically. Google Thomas Malthus or Mathusian Theory if you're bored.
post #18 of 62
post #19 of 62
I originally wanted five. I have four and I had decided before the baby was concieved that I was done. And I meant that. Right up until about a week ago. I dont know why but I have baby lust again! Im even thinking, what the heck, maybe two more?

I agree about the population explosion myth. Fertility rates are actually falling off world wide. There was a book recently republished (original date in the fifties but his predictions have come true) about this. I also remember talking abou it in a class in college when we read "Children Of Men" which is based on already happening trends.
post #20 of 62
The OP asked if there are any areas for larger families-- there is a thread in Finding Your Tribe for just about everybody (moms with dreadlocks, moms with only children, big families, military mamas, women who aren't mothers yet, moms who play World of Warcraft, etc) in addition to the area-based threads.

Whatever you're looking for, there will be a thread for it in Tribe, and if there isn't, you can start one!
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