Sorry, turned into a rambel
Well, unlike you lucky ladies, I am due at the end of the month.
I spent last night in L&D due to mother, aunts and cousins freaking out over the size of my hand, feet and shines due to swelling. My mom insisted upon taking my BP that was 145/100 and my nurse cousin said I should call my OB because that is kind of high and I am a 1-2 edema up to my knees. I really was not feeling the need to call anyone, I have already informed the doctor of the swelling and she really didn't care. So, to make others happy I called the Dr. & headed off to L&D. Long story short... they really don't care about BP unless it is over 150/100.
I am just really tired at this point. Looking forward to the end of the month. While I am excited about LO, I think I am more excited about having my body back.
Well, all of my body with the exception of my breast. I have had more energy the past week. I hope it keeps up there is still cleaning that needs to be done. DH says he will do it but his clean is NOT mine. I have became realistic with myself and realized that I am not going to get these fitted diapers done before she gets here so I have bought some prefolds and tie-dyed them. Now, I have to make some covers... maybe I will have to buy them too. Who knows what will and will not get done at this point.
To add to all of this excitement and trying to get things ready I am being stretched way to thin. I am 37 weeks tomorrow and that equals weekly appointments on top of taking care of DS. My grandmother who has been recently diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer has been in and out of the hospital and Dr.'s think they may have found more cancer. My family is extremely close and there is no way that I am not going to visit her at least every other day, especially while in the hospital. Plus that gives my mom and aunts a break who practically live with her in the hospital or with grandpa (who had Alzheimer’s) at home. The hospital where she was admitted (she is home, for now) was horrible with her care and 1.5 hour drive away from me. So all of that has been not so great. Then my 16 year old brother has a drug problem. The more we have dug into it and have tried to get him help has shown us how big of a problem he really does have. He stole some anxiety narcotics from my mom while she was at the hospital with grandma and slept through his drug rehab counseling session. The counselor had to call our step-dad to come in and to help him out. He wouldn't give us the rest of the pills and we recovered a few from searching but he still has them hid somewhere. I kept him at my house over night so mom could look for the missing pills and anything else he could have hid. While he was at my house, he kept trying to get into my cold meds and such. He slept on my couch most of the day and when I woke him up to go to bed, I realized that he was messed up. I had DH watch him change into PJ's and then bring me his clothing. I searched them, again for the second time that day, and he had electrical taped one side of his wallet and cut a pocket into it and there was one of those anxiety pills hidden there.
I am so mad at him, he had been taking those pills all day and then being around my 3 year old DS. The next day, after he was gone, DH was cleaning up his bed where he slept and found 5 little red pills. My DS could have picked those up and ate them, they look like little M&M's! Then while at my grandmothers house he stole 4 pain pills from our grandmother and mom caught him with them right before he took them. How can someone still pain meds from anyone who is dying and needs them for pain! I know, he has an issue but still I can't help but to be so mad at him. Now, we are trying to get him more help... we have been trying to get help for 2 months now, not much luck. To make matters worse DH just decided to lay on me a very personal issue/secret that he has been keeping from me. That has just been about enough to push me over the edge. Plus, mom needing someone to "be there" for her with all that’s happening with losing her mom (grandma) and 16 year old sons drug problems. And, grandma has chosen me to be the one to talk about death with. I assume she does this because I don't shut down, cry or tell her not to talk like that. I just listen and I know that it is the right thing to do but all this on me, its getting rough!
Maybe all that is why my BP is kind of on the high side, huh? I keep telling myself, this is really a great time to have a baby, right? I don't know. I wish all this would resolve its self but I know that’s not going to happen. I just wonder, how much harder is it going to be when LO gets her. Sorry for the venting, I have been keeping it all in. Thanks for listening/reading.