R-E-S-P-E-C-T Tell you what it means to me.

[MattBronsil]

This came up in another part of this forum, and I think it deserves its own thread:

A mother said:

"The children also respected the adults but more from the behavior being modeled for them rather than a forced kind of thing. YKWIM? Obviously, the educational part of Montessori is wonderful but I am so happy our children will be respected as individuals and for just being themselves. "

So my question is this:
What do you notice that is different about the way Montessorians respect the child?

I was going to write a long blog about it, but it's 12:40 AM here and I just can't put that much thought into it right now.

I have my own ideas. Just don't have the time to spell them all out here. I'd like to know what others think as well. Even if it's just "impressions" without really understanding the key parts.

Matt

[southernmama]

Respect for the child- his or her capabilities and interests is, i think, the cornerstone of the M philosophy. I am the mama that wrote of the "crisis"in education. I toured a first grade classroom today of a non- M school that has a reputation of being the best. It made me very sad to note that the children had a "flip card" system of discipline where cards are turned from green (good), yellow(warning) to red (bad) based on behavior infractions- one of which is asking to use the bathroom at a non -appointed bathroom time. This to me is very disrespectful of the child and her needs and ability to take care of herself. How demeaning and disrespectful to the child. When I asked about the bathroom thing I was told that children abuse the bathroom as an excuse to get out of their desks and stretch- again I found this very disrespectful and asked why not just put a yoga mat in the corner and let them stretch??? Treating children with respect and as they matter causes them, I think, to rise to the occasion and meet and exceed out expectations of what they can do>

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by southernmama

When I asked about the bathroom thing I was told that children abuse the bathroom as an excuse to get out of their desks and stretch.

My thought:
"Gee...doesn't that suggest that they need more movement in the classroom?"

Maria Montessori quote for the day:

"Discipline must come through liberty. Here is a great principle which is difficult for the followers of common-school methods to understand. How shall one obtain discipline in a class of free children? Certainly in our system, we have a concept of discipline very different from that commonly accepted. If discipline is founded upon liberty, the discipline itself must necessarily be active. We do not consider an individual disciplined only when he has been rendered as artificially silent as a mute and as immovable as a paralytic. He is an individual annihilated, not disciplined."


How long is it going to take before traditional education catches up with that concept?

[Mom2lilpeeps]

Our dd won't be starting school until the fall, however, I will share what dh and I observed when visiting The Children's House. The first thing we noticed were the children arriving for the day were greeted individually (by name) by the Director and teachers andchildren shook hands with their 'greeters'. The hand shaking thing wasn't the least bit cheesey or forced it seemed proper and natural. After observing through a two way mirror we walked through each classroom. The director asked permission of the children before showing us their work. (to explain) There was a 9yo who was busy working and the Director wanted to show us her notebook as an example of how the children keep track or their work. He first asked her permission then assured her we weren't reading it but were just looking. There was also a 4yo little girl being phased into the classroom and the Director was so gentle with her and didn't push her or even enter her personal space. He just quietly said hello ---- (insert name) and we moved on. These are just a few observations we made. I was so impressed. I also did observe the children interacting with each other and they were quite respectful of one another as well. I'm sure this is from the modeling of the adults. The whole atmostphere of the school was peaceful and harmonious. Everyone seemed so gentle and happy. I was astounded. I have been reading about Montessori for a long time but seeing it has made me a true believer.

[MattBronsil]

Originally Posted by mom4emnxani

After observing through a two way mirror

Wasn't that hard to do? :

Ok...just giving you a hard time. I'm exhausted. It's been a frustrating day. Ready for bed.


Goodnight, ya'll.

Matt

[freistms]

Cornerstone . . .

I agree that respect is the cornerstone of Montessori, but I see it as much more fundamental. Isn't it respectful of us to allow our children to undertake the most important elements of their education at a speed and in a manner that is acceptable to them? I think it shows a lot of respect that the Montessori directress allows the student to choose when they are ready to begin a work, how often and how long they would like to practice, and when they will master it. Of course, this aspect of Montessori, like others, is not always perfectly executed.

[DahliaRW]

I think respect also includes areas of "correction". I love how M helps children learn how to resolve their own conflicts with each other (and after a bit of help most of the kids can do it all on their own). I also love how the teachers help children engage in appropriate activities rather than punishing them for not being "on task" like you would see in traditional public school (i.e. kid not doing work, so they lose recess time). This is based on my 2 observations and talking to the teachers, but was one area that really stood out to me and I loved what I saw. For example, in one classroom a child was running around being disruptive. The other kids pretty much were trying to ignore him and do their activities. So, the teacher went over and asked the disruptive child to come with her (out of earshot of the other children). Then she told him "this is what I see. I see you _______... and that is keeping other students from being able to do their work. What should you be doing?" And the child said they should find a task to work on, but still looked lost. So then the teacher pointed out some new math materials which the child went straight too, picked one, and was working happily away for a long time after. It was just so great. The child was not being reprimanded in front of peers, rather was privately told what the teacher observed in a non-confrontational way. And then the teacher helped the child figure out the appropriate behavior and directed them. In sooooo many schools this situation would have resulted in the child being lectured and then punished by losing a priviledge.

I hope that makes sense. So while respect encompasses many areas, one way I've seen it applied in M is through helping children choose positive behaviors without coercion or punishment/shame.