Would you leave 11-yr-old to babysit?

[macheetah]

This bugs me...maybe it's just me, as I have anxiety issues anyway - so I wanted to get a broader mama view...

Someone occasionally leaves their very mature and responsible 11-yr-old DD to babysit their infant, 10 months old. Usually about three or four hours at a time at home. The parents go out to dinner and/or movie, do "date night." Everyone has cell phones.

Thoughts? This impacts me because I have a 7 year old DD, and I will not leave her there when invited to join them out because I do not feel secure with no adult there. But, I am a crime survivor, have PTSD, etc., so I wanted more objective views.

[MomInFlux]

I do not think that I would be comfortable with an eleven year old (any eleven year old) babysitting an infant. An eleven year old staying home alone? OK. But responsible for a baby? Nope.

[fek&fuzz]

in my mind, 11 is too young for that responsibility. My boyfriend's daughter's mom used to leave her at home when she was 11, with her 5 yo sister, while the mom went "to the bar down the street." His daughter would call him, scared and wondering what to do about dinner, but since he was 1500 miles away there wasn't much he could do.

Does the 11 boy in the case know what to do if the baby chokes? Eats something poisonous, hits his head, if he hears weird noises, if someone is trying to break in, etc.? I think you are right for not leaving your child there.

[MissMommyNiceNice]

I don't think 11 years old is to young to babysit say a 6 or 7 year old for an hour or so, I used to do it all the time. But 10 mos? No way, I mean feeding bottles and stuff? Maybe at 13 or older...with a safety course and cpr certification...

[Kimmiepie]

For me, it would not be a problem if the child they were babysitting was older. A 10 month old, I would never do that. But maybe 3 or 4 and up. I was 10 when my mom started leaving me alone with my brother who was 3 years younger than me. It was fine.

I also have an 11 year old 1/2 brother right now who I would feel comfortable watching my older two for short periods of time, although he never has.

It also depends on how mature the 11 year old is. If it was my own child, or my brother etc...that would be okay because I would know whether or not they are capable of handling it. I would never leave them with an 11 year old was not in my family, because I just wouldn't know how mature they were.

That being said, I've never left my children with anyone other than my parents/in laws except for one time we had a court thing to go to...and the girl that watched them was 19.

[whateverdidiwants]

I wouldn't be, but I know that some people think it's ok. Heck, when I was 9, my best friend's mom used to leave us in charge of the two littlest kids (maybe 2 and 1 yo?) while she went to work on the weekends.

[umsami]

I started babysitting around 11 for a four year old and one year old. The one year old was usually asleep when I came over. And their house was kitty-korner to our house... so if I needed help, my Mom & Dad were near by.

A few years later, I was babysitting 40+ hours/week for the same family. (Gee, I was a nanny!)

It seemed fine to me then, but now, as a Mom, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with it.

I would not leave your seven year old there because I think it's wrong to sort of take advantage of the babysitter... by piling kids on. It's not like your daughter is the baby's friend.. KWIM?

[eclipse]

My niece was born when I was 11, and I would babysit for short periods of time from birth (but usually very short, as my sister breastfed for the first 6 months) while my sister ran to the store or something. I baby sat older kids (preschool age) when I was the same age for much longer blocks of time. I was fine. I think it would depend on the child.

[karina5]

I babysat 3 month old twins when I was 13, but only for a couple hours at a time. I think if it was for up to an hour that would be okay IF the 11 year old was very mature for her age. BUt it is the three or four hours that makes me really uncomfortable in this situation.

[marybethorama]

I wouldn't feel comfortable

Though I admit I was babysitting at that age. Eeeep.

Here the minimum age to babysit is 12 and I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone younger.

[stacim]

I agree with what the other posters have said. Even a mature 11 yo seems too young to me to watch such a young child. There are just too many situations they could encounter and not know how to handle. And sometimes there just isn't enough time to call mom/dad to find out what to do.

I definitely wouldn't do it!

[dawn1221]

I was left in charge of the kids at a very young age.

That being said, I would NEVER leave my DD with someone under the age of 16 or 17 years old. I prefer adults to watch my child because I know children have a hard time knowing how to react to dangerous situations. It isn't about trusting them. It is about knowing they are no where near mature enough to know what to do if something bad happens. Even if you leave instructions.

And kids are way to easily distracted. Babies need to be supervised ALWAYS.

[Brigianna]

no, not with a baby. by himself, sure. even babysitting a somewhat older kid, like 6+, fine. but not with an infant.

[Blu Razzberri]

I used to babysit my four younger siblings at 12...but we lived in the country where we were surrounded by like-family neighbors and my grandparents down the street. Also; none of the kids were younger than 5yrs.

I personally think they're putting too much responsability on the 11yo. At ten months; babies are in the stage where they need to be watched CONSTANTLY....that's too much for even the most responsible pre-teen, IMO. I feel differently if baby is already sleeping when they leave, however.

[frog]

I think it depends on lots of things--what sort of child the 11 year old is, who's home nearby and what kind of relationship the family has with their neighbors, where they live, etc.

Small Friend O just turned nine, and I anticipate her being the sort of 11 year old I'd leave a child with. Small Friend C will be 13 in June and I wouldn't leave any kid with her for any length of time at all.

When I was 11, I routinely cared for our neighbors' son who was about 10 or 11 months old at the time. My mom was just next door in case I ran into anything I couldn't handle (one truly horrific diaper change leaps to mind).

[Ruthla]

I think it really depends on the maturity of the child doing the babysitting, the maturity of the child being babysat, and how long the adults will be gone.

I'd leave my 11yo "in charge" of a toddler while I took a nap or a bath or was otherwise in the house but unavailable (but still available in case of emergency.)

I will leave my 11yo to babysit my 6yo while I go to the supermarket for an hour. I'm not sure how I'd feel about leaving her to babysit for 3-4 hours at a time, as the situation hasn't come up. I certainly wouldn't have done that the first few times she babysat, but now I'd probably be OK with it (remember, this is an 11.5yo babysitting a 6yo, not an infant.)

I also feel very differently about asking an 11yo to watch ONE child, and asking her to watch 2 or more children. In your situation, I'd probably not leave my 7yo there either- how can the 11yo really be watching your child if she's busy caring for the baby? What if your child distracts her from watching the baby properly?

I wouldn't give the family a hard time about what they've chosen to do with their children, but you make the choices for your children and this is simply beyond your comfort level. Maybe get another babysitter for your child and join them on adult-only evenings knowng your child is safe?

[julielenore]

I think it depends on the child's experience and family dinamics. In some countries there are 11 year olds actuallly raising their siblings right now. Some 11 year olds are more mature than other 16 year olds.

[stickywicket67]

Originally Posted by stacim

I agree with what the other posters have said. Even a mature 11 yo seems too young to me to watch such a young child. There are just too many situations they could encounter and not know how to handle. And sometimes there just isn't enough time to call mom/dad to find out what to do.

I definitely wouldn't do it!

i agree

[*clementine*]

I have an 11 year old.
I leave him with our 6 year old while I RUN somewhere and I take the 2 year old with me, but they have to be having a good day together for me to even consider doing that.
If I need to run through the drive through or something, I wait until the 2 year old has just laid down for a nap, leave a cell phone with the 11 year old and then go as fast as possible. I'm never gone for more than 10 minutes.
My 13 year old...same as above lol.
I don't leave either of my older kids to babysit. It just wouldn't go well-at least potentially.

[SagMom]

At 11, I was babysitting my sibs, ages 8 and 5. When I was 12 I was babysitting infants.

My oldest would babysit his baby brother when they were 10 and 1. My ds knew his brother well, knew what calmed him, knew what he liked and didn't like, etc. So I was confident that he could care for the baby and so was he. And ds2 adores his big brother. It wasn't for very long periods of time though, as ds2 was nursing.

It depends on the individual.