Rant - CD my sister gave me

[oneduemommy]

I asked my sister who doesn't have kids to make me a cd for labor. Something relaxing to help me through it. She and I have similiar tastes in music, so I thought it would be nice. She asked if any of the songs could be fast, and I said sure, something upbeat might be good at times...
Anyways, she gives me 2 cds - one fast and one slow. She starts cracking up saying she wants to be there when I listen to the fast one... I asked why and she said it was really funny with songs like Push it! I said, I am really serious about the birth and don't want to be upset. I knew that it would upset me... Anyways, I scanned through the cd after she gave it to me and it had Johnny Cash's ring of fire, John Mellencamp "Hurt so good" and other obnoxious rap songs about things hurting and baby. I literally cried when my husband and I listened to it. It was the crassest most inconsiderate thing that I have heard.
I am wanting a nice sacred birth experience... I am really offended. Would anyone else be saddened by this cd??

[dharmagrlpa]

I think your hormones are in overdrive and at some point you may see the humor in what she was trying to say. Pregnant women are NOT known for their senses of humor!

Maybe(most likely) the slower one was the one really intended for your labor and delivery and the fast one as a warm joke. She did have to take the time to compile all those crazy songs,so she was probably just being silly with it all and having a little fun with it.

Try to lighten up about it since both were created with love.

[sapphire_chan]

(Visiting.)
Save the fast one for when she's pregnant and give it to her at her shower.

[EviesMom]

If it were the only cd and/or she didn't warn you, then I'd be offended. As it is, I wouldn't worry about it.

I just put our ipod on shuffle during ds homebirth. The only two songs I remember hearing were Cash's "Ring of Fire" sometime late in labor... which made me chuckle... and Moby's "Into the Blue" pretty much in the moment before I started to push, which includes in part "I am wide open". Again, I found it funny after the fact, but didn't make the connection at the time... but its just different senses of humor. I doubt you'll notice most of the specifics during labor!

(Saw this in new posts... ds was born in Oct)

[oneduemommy]

I guess I'm just really kinda nervous about the birth and the pain. I think that I'm pretty serious about it being a sacred event to me and maybe I just can't see the humor in this. It was really just sad for someone to make a joke out of my labor. She is my sister that said ' It is going to HUUUUURRRRRTTTT BAAADDD.' when I mentioned that I was going to try for a natural birth. Im not going to say anything else to her about it. I'm just a little bothered.

[Jes'sBeth]

just chuck it out. Most people who haven't done any research just think that childbirth is painful. All of the images we have of childbirth in pop culture show it as a horrible experience in which the woman is flat on their back with no control. People are just really uneducatated.

How's the slow one look? Any better? If so, just use that one. If the whole thing is tainted by the stupidity of the fast one, put together your own cd.

She just doesn't get it because she hasn't thought of it as a sacred experience or she just doesn't understand what you need to make it an important birthing experience. Someday soon you'll be able to explain how amazing your birth was and how empowering it was.

It doesn't matter what your sister thinks about your birth anyway. It's YOUR birth, not hers.

[SamuraiMom]

Not in your ddc, but please try to find a little humor in your impending labor, a birth can be very sacred while maintaining a bit if light heartedness. If you take it too seriously, it will hurt even more! and laughing keeps everything open! And I hate to say it but, Ring of Fire is SO apropos!

[Contrariety]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

(Visiting.)
Save the fast one for when she's pregnant and give it to her at her shower.

:

By then you won't be so emotional about it, and you'll see that it's actually pretty funny... and you can make her cry instead.

[rmzbm]

I'd actually be irritated too...I just don't see the humor. , OP!

[CherryBomb]

I can see why you'd be irritated (though dh made the "Push It" joke to me earlier today and it made me ).

I wouldn't be upset with your sister, though. I'm sure she didn't intend to upset you. If she brings it up just tell her it wasn't really what you had in mind for labor, but thanks anyway.

[OmJaya]

I had some music set out for my sacred experience during birth and when DH played it, it just sounded awful!! I think "push it" might have gotten more energy flowing and maybe some laughter. However, I know it wouldn't have been funny to make fun of pain. I just think funny can be sacred too! My idea of sacred changed during the birth.

[doulanichole]

I tend to think it's funny and clever and would appreciate the fact that she did put time and energy into it. Can I have it? Would be perfect for my comfort measures cbe class where everyone gets to practice labor positions!

[~Katrinka~]

Honestly, I would have laughed at the CD with my sister. My sister should be that funny! I wouldn't put it in my labor bag, but I would listen to it during my crazy nesting cleaning urges.

Yes, birth is sacred, but there are parts of labor that can be very, very funny. You won't need a soundtrack to make it funny though.

If you're looking for other ideas on music to give birth to, go to iTunes, to the iMix section. Do searches for "Labor" and "Birth", and you can get some ideas that are more up your alley.

I had a CD of Chopin's Nocturnes that I labored to when I had my DS. Very relaxing, and not too intrusive.

[Bellejar]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

(Visiting.)
Save the fast one for when she's pregnant and give it to her at her shower.

:

Honestly if she doesn't have kids, don't take it personally, she doesn't "get it."

[DBZ]

Giving birth is totally sacred and we all have our ways of coping during it. While I am totally laughing at the songs, I might be pretty ticked if my sister came up with the same cd. She has no clue what it is like to go through pregnancy and child birth.

[oneduemommy]

Well, I'm honestly a little surprised by the lack of support on this thread. I'm not disowning my sister or anything. The CD to me is crude and distasteful. I don't think there is a lot funny with it. Maybe youd have to hear the whole thing... but to me it is disrespectful to birth by making it a big joke.

The last thing I want to listen to while giving birth was Johnny Cash serenading me with "It burns burns burns, that ring of fire, that ring of fire" and his guitar strumming in the background... Or some annoying rap song with the words Baby make it hurt!

[Septagram]

I'm sorry mommy. Just remember, if she's never been pregnant and is uneducated about childbirth, she has absolutley no frame of reference for what you're going through and what birth really is.

I think that it's funny as a joke as long as she didn't really think that you would play it while in labor.. I've been having to explain to lots of my friends (who are childless and have never seen a birth on video, much less real life or in a home) that childbirth isn't really the blood curdling screamfest that they think it is.

I hope you can find some good music to labor to.. Would you like the names of some of the albums that I'm going to have on hand?

[Jane]

I'd like to suggest a CD of music that you don't know to keep on hand as well (well, besides the one your sister sent). There is some suggestion that unfamiliar, but tuneful, music relieves pain better than familiar music.

I'm sorry your sister didn't "get" your request and responded inappropriately. I hope you can repair your relationship before the baby arrives.

[Leilalu]

Originally Posted by Bellejar

:

Honestly if she doesn't have kids, don't take it personally, she doesn't "get it."

give it to her later on!

[healthnutmama]

Originally Posted by DBZ

Giving birth is totally sacred and we all have our ways of coping during it. While I am totally laughing at the songs, I might be pretty ticked if my sister came up with the same cd. She has no clue what it is like to go through pregnancy and child birth.

ITA. I'm laughing at the thought of the songs all being on one cd for birth music, but I would be totally ticked if my sister had done that to me.

Honestly, disregard it though. Your sister doesn't understand. Everytime I call my sister (childless and unmarried), she answers the phone by saying, "PUSH" really loudly. I have gotten to the point where I won't even call her. I like to think retaliation, but that's not my nature. I know how emotionally taxing the end of pregnancy is and I would never do that her.

Have you listened to the other cd? Can you make a different one for fast music or ask somebody else that has btdt?

GL.