Elementary school expense

[greeny]

How do you decide how much to spend on your children's education when they're young?

We are currently working on getting debt-free (except for mortgage). We have about $20k left in student loans. We plan to be done with that within 18 months (hopefully sooner if we work hard at it).

We recently decided to send dd to a Montessori school that costs $7200 base tuition (plus some miscellaneous fees, and probably several fund raising events). I'm having a hard time justifying paying tuition that high for a 5-year-old when that same money could be used for paying down debts and then for saving/investing. But then again, my dd is a very particular child, and she needs a school that she embraces (and that embraces her). We also have a ds to think about in terms of school/money. We probably won't send him to Montessori, but we're looking at a minimum of $10,000 a year in grade school tuition for the two of them once he starts full-time. That's a lot.

We were thinking of moving to a neighborhood with great public schools, but the taxes there are very high (minimum of $8k a year), and now is not a good time to try to sell our current house. So that's not really an option right now. Also, if we did that, we wouldn't have extra money to spend on a different school if dd didn't like the public one (since we'd be paying such high taxes).

So. What kinds of decisions have you made about paying for school for your little kids? If you pay a lot for education, how do you justify it or make peace with it?

[sanguine_speed]

We will not pay for private school, on principle. Call it sacrificing my children for the sake of others, but it is what it is. If everyone who didn't like public school did something about it instead of opting out, public school would be much better off. I am not abandoning those who cannot afford to make that choice. I realize most people don't agree with my opinion on this matter, but I hold it dear to my heart. Education is fundamentally important to all children, and I feel we all need to work together so all children have good educational opportunities. I also feel that even if my child doesn't get the "perfect" educational opportunities that there will be opportunities for learning and growth from public school that she might not get otherwise. The children whose families can not afford private education? My child would never meet them in a private school.
I also feel comfortable taking on any additional work to ensure she can succeed and learn...and I'm not entirely concerned about her grades at this stage.

[sanguine_speed]

double post.

[thriftyqueen]

That's a hard decision to make. My DS goes to private school. He loves it there and we feel it is worth every penny. It is only about $3000 a year, though. We could not afford it if it were much more than that. We chose the private school because of the small size, the fact that he won't switch schools 4 times in his school career (our public schools go K-5, 6-8, 9-10, 11-12 at different schools), and because it is a biblically based school where our faith is incorporated in the school in tons of ways. This obviously is not the deciding factor for everyone, but it is for us.

I think that you have to decide what you want your priority for your childrens' school career to be. If the private school has the things that you feel are important, go with the private school. If you could sell you house in a few years and move to a different district, maybe you could transfer your kids to public school. Go tour the public school in your area, you may find that they have a lot more to offer than you realize.

[greeny]

Go tour the public school in your area, you may find that they have a lot more to offer than you realize.

I know standardized test scores aren't the end-all and be-all, but less than 38% of third graders at our local school can read at or above grade-level. And scores in other areas are really low too.

[greeny]

And it's also my dd. She's so resistant to school and being away from me, and she fell in love with this Montessori.

sanguine_speed, you raise some interesting points too.

*sigh* I am so conflicted.

[thriftyqueen]

Originally Posted by greeny

I know standardized test scores aren't the end-all and be-all, but less than 38% of third graders at our local school can read at or above grade-level. And scores in other areas are really low too.

That would be a huge concern to me especially if you DD is advanced/average level of learning. It is hard because if there are students who are behind, the whole class generally stays at that level. My DS is bored if not challenged. He draws pictures on his papers when he is waiting for the rest of the class. My DH was the same way. The curriculum at the private school is quite advanced. You may want to check some of that out too.

Go with your gut. It doesn't have to be set in stone for the rest of her schooling. Maybe you will send her to one and switch at some point. That is okay. Just make a year by year decision and go from there. Don't even think about when your other child gets to school just decide for the coming year. Takes some of the stress off.

[Eman'smom]

Our "compromise" was to find a great charter school, we and ds are extremely happy with it. There is no way ds would have thrived/survived in a traditional public school. Our local public school was a failing school at the time, I'm not sure about now, now in our area there were lots of factors involved in that not just test score but still. We looked into private schools, and they were 5-10,000 a year. We could have squeezed that money out but like you it's hard to justify when it could go to so many other things.


Anyway charter schools are public schools so they are free, we do have to provide all transportation, food, plus a few extras but it's worth it. He loves school.

[mtm]

I'm a strong public school supporter but if I didn't think the public school could meet my ds's needs, I'd find a better option. I would try public first. For me, test scores don't mean much, i'd be far more interested in who the teachers were and what direction the principal was taking the school in.

We'd be more likely to homeschool though if we ran into real problems in the public system. Two sets of our friends started their kids in montessori and waldorf primary and when they couldn't afford (montessori for 2, didn't want the kids at different schools)/didn't like the direction it was going in, found it quite difficult to transition their kiddos to the public system, esp the waldorf one.

[meowee]

I'm in the same boat, but thinking of going back to HSing for financial concerns. Our tuition is much less but we have 3 in school. 2 receive sibling discounts and scholarships (the school is marked as an inner city school and there was a huge grant earmarked for that last year) but I don't think we'll get the same scholarship next year. We also got hit with nearly $1000 in surprise lunch fees because we made just $200/ yr over the limit for discount lunch. It's $25-35 per month per child, over 10 months and byuing lunch is required :. Our total costs for this year in school including uniforms will be about $6300. But then I sat down and did the math about how much we would be spending long term if we sent all the kids to private school, and possibly private highschool too, and then college. Even going to the most affordable schools and colleges will add up to a huge sum. I realized it might be better to keep them home when they are younger, since at least academically I'm qualified up to that level (my math skills bottom out around Algebra I), and then use the money for private high school or even just college. It's a hard decision! Homeschooling them didn't work out well for us. I also realized that if I bought full-packaged curriculum I would still save a ton of money but have the guidance I need (I'm very unorganized, horrible at keeping a schedule).

So I guess my answer is that I don't feel it's justified unless the parents can't homeschool or the public schools truly are not acceptable. To sanguine, who said she would not pay for school on principle, you have to remember that many parents do not have access to a public school that can guarantee their child's physical safety. The public schools where I live are dangerous and assaults, including sexual assaults, are frequent. We tried sending one DD to PS last year and she was physically bullied by three boys on a regular basis. After 6 weeks of appealing to the principal we withdrew her.

[greeny]

I don't think homeschooling is for us for two reasons:

1) I plan to go back to work during school hours when my youngest is in Kindergarten

2) My dd is exceptionally resistant to social activities, and, if she didn't go to school now, would never choose to be around other kids. I think that for the vast majority of kids, homeschooling is no hindrance to social development. But for my child in particular I think it would be.

[greeny]

I don't think the public schools in our district are dangerous, just academically weak. The test scores (again, not the only important thing, but still an indicator of how things are going) are low, though rising slowly, and we have a new superintendent who is very conscientious, energetic, and devoted to improving the schools.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

subbing

[Jess A]

I support public education--I was a public school teacher for five years. When I someday go back to teaching, I intend to go back.

DS, however, goes to private school. We sent him to kindergarten there because they had a full day program and small class sizes. DS entered kindergarten knowing how to read, and we thought that given his personality, a full day there and a small class size would be a good fit for him. It is a Catholic school, and we are Catholic (though for me, the religious aspect was not the driving force, which I know sounds odd) We also had reasons for keeping him out of the schools in our district (the district I taught for) that I'll not go into.

He LOVES his school and his friends. It is a perfect fit for him. DD will go there starting in pre-K next year. Eventually, DS2 will go there as well.

Next year, we will pay 3200 for both kids. Eventually, we'll have three in there . . .I don't want to even think about that.

We make sacrifices because we like the school and the environment and the education available to the kids. The student body is very diverse, and so far, my son has had excellent teachers.

Pick the place that is best for your child.

But then again, my dd is a very particular child, and she needs a school that she embraces (and that embraces her).

This is how we thought about our son. He and his school are such a good match that we are willing to make sacrifices to keep him (and the other kids eventually) there.

I'm a strong public school supporter but if I didn't think the public school could meet my ds's needs, I'd find a better option. I would try public first. For me, test scores don't mean much, i'd be far more interested in who the teachers were and what direction the principal was taking the school in.

I agree with this as well, and the bolded part reflects a large part of our decision to educate our children the way we are.

[sprouthead]

I also think that you have to do what you're comfortable with. In the area that I live now, I would be comfortable sending DS to public school, but I am sure that I will have to supplement his learning at home, which I am fine with (as a teacher and school counselor I want to point out that the number one indicator of a child's success in school is parental involvement at home, so I believe that any family can make *any* educational system work for them). If I could afford it I would try out the Waldorf school in the area, but I wouldn't worry if I couldn't afford it. However, we may be moving in a few years and at that point I will have to do another comparison of public versus private school and make the best decision that we're comfortable with. I also agree w/ a pp that it doesn't have to be all or nothing- you can try out different schools and move a child around. Even if it's a tough transition, your child will do better to switch to a school that s/he is more comfortable in than to remain in a school that they're not doing well in to avoid the transition. Good luck!

[EFmom]

When we moved to our current home, our choice was all about school systems, even though we didn't have kids at the time. If nothing else, I've found that it makes for good real estate decisions overall over the long haul. Our taxes are no higher than surrounding districts, but the schools are better.

There is no way I would pay for private schools, unless there were particular issues with my child. I want to be able to pay for my kids to be able to get their BA/BS, and there is no way we could do that if we were sending them to private schools.

[lucyem]

We paid for preschool. Then we realized we would be moving. We kept DS in the same school for kindergarten rather then put him in the local school. We had hoped to have moved by now. We may have to pay for 1st grade so he can stay in one place. But it is a choice to keep him in one school until the move. I went to 12 schools as a child and refuse to put him through repeated moves. He has also been having a very tough time with packing and the concept of moving. This way his friends and school life stay the same while everything else changes. I think there is a time and place for private vs public vs home. You just have to figure out what is best for you & your child.

[arahzel]

What kind of Montessori school it is?

DD goes to a Montessori school as well, and it's pricey, but we feel it is worth every penny. Is it just a kindergarten? Or does it go beyond? K's school has a little house, pre-primary, primary, and kindergarten.

If you will be sending your child to a Montessori school for just a year, I don't think it will be worth it -- from what I understand cycles are dependent on varying age groups in one classroom. If your daughter will be attending school longer, then I'd say go for it -- but don't stretch yourself so tight that you're eating nothing but beans.

I can totally see your perspective on not wanting to spend the money because of debt. I think my situation is a little different because my dd is younger, and since I work she'd require daycare anyway -- and her tuition is only a bit more than weekly childcare at a licensed daycare around here. THAT is how I justify my expense.

Good luck!

[greeny]

What kind of Montessori school it is?

DD goes to a Montessori school as well, and it's pricey, but we feel it is worth every penny. Is it just a kindergarten? Or does it go beyond? K's school has a little house, pre-primary, primary, and kindergarten.

It goes all the way through 8th grade.

And I do plan to go back to work, at least part time while the kids are in school, as soon as my youngest starts full-time Kindy in Fall 2010, at which point we'd be dual income (or at least 1.5 income ).

And even with her tuition, we'd be debt free (other than mortgage) after paying off our remaining student loan within 18 months.

I guess it's hard to think of $7200 x 9 ($64,800!!!) for elementary. I think of what that money saved or invested would do for our family and for college savings for the kids.

But the school is amazing.

[Petersmamma]

Originally Posted by sanguine_speed

We will not pay for private school, on principle. Call it sacrificing my children for the sake of others, but it is what it is. If everyone who didn't like public school did something about it instead of opting out, public school would be much better off. I am not abandoning those who cannot afford to make that choice. I realize most people don't agree with my opinion on this matter, but I hold it dear to my heart. Education is fundamentally important to all children, and I feel we all need to work together so all children have good educational opportunities. I also feel that even if my child doesn't get the "perfect" educational opportunities that there will be opportunities for learning and growth from public school that she might not get otherwise. The children whose families can not afford private education? My child would never meet them in a private school.
I also feel comfortable taking on any additional work to ensure she can succeed and learn...and I'm not entirely concerned about her grades at this stage.

You rock!