New mamas of 2nd...talk to me!

[XanaduMama]

Dropping in from the March DDC. Congrats on all the gorgeous new babies! Since you're all rapidly becoming new experts, I thought I'd ask your advice. I'm due in a week or so with my second; ds is 26.5 months, still cosleeps, doesn't sleep very well, and is generally extremely attached to dh and I. Which is great...we're just wondering how this is going to change or be affected by the new arrival.

So: those of you with toddlers AND a new baby--talk to me! How have things gone? What do you wish you'd known/prepared for beforehand? Biggest surprises? Biggest challenges? Most wonderful things? Anything you'd like to share would be great!

[lincap]

hi!

We have a 2 week old and 27 month old.

Things are good. We have DS1 sleeping in a room with DH. DS2 is in another bedroom with me.

DS2 is a good napper so far, so that really leaves me enough time to play wtih DS1. I am surprised at how well DS1 is doing. No regressing with the potty.
He is having some fits but I am sure that is becuase of the weather! If we can't go out for a bit in the morning, he throws a fit. So weather pending we are outside for a bit in the morning.

Biggest challenge is supper time. This is when DS2 is awake and wants to nurse nurse nurse... So I cook supper after lunch and re-heat for dinnertime.

Good luck! You will be fine, and you will find a good routine!

[StrawberryFields]

What I wish I had known beforehand is that having a toddler and a newborn would really be no big deal! I cried and worried and stressed and carried on about it for my whole pregnancy. The closer I got to the birth the more worried I got. And really, everything has been fine. Even though ds is a light sleeper for some reason the baby doesn't really wake him at night. And even though he co-sleeps and wakes at night and so does the baby, I'm doing fine sleep-wise. He loves his baby sister and has never been jealous or upset. I am still able to keep up with the laundry, make meals, vacuum, sweep and mop every day, do the dishes--everything I used to do. All that freaking out for nothing.

[the elyse]

my dd has been taking cues from me... at first i was trying to pay extra attention to her, and she was resenting it a little. just keep things as normal as possible!! she has been so understanding, and gets that mommy can't always come when she calls. don't stress, and good luck!!!

[jaxinsmom]

my ds (3 years) has been great. although I know some moms who have had to deal with jealous toddlers, I think you'd already have a sense right now if that was the case.
My little guy luvvvvvvs his sister. It's super cute, but the passive-aggressive nature does come out in little things. Like, if she's sleeping on me and I can't have ds climb on my lap to read a story, he'll yell loudly knowing he could/will wake her. But, that's about it. For the most part he loves touching her and kissing/hugging her. He loves it when I do his bedtime and bring her.
I tried to get him excited throughout my pregnancy -- trying not to use the term 'new' baby, and emphasize how exciting it will be to be a big-brother. He tells EVERYONE (ppl at the video store, strangers at the mall) that he's a big brother
I also think it'll just depend on your dc's personality.
Good luck!!!!!!!

[sarahn4639]

Well....DD loves her brother and is very good to him but other things have been going on. Since he turned 3ish weeks old she has been peeing her pants. She had been reliably using the potty (even overnight!) for 2 full months before he was born. It has gotten so bad the last 2 days that she's in a diaper now. She hasn't peed on the potty all day today. I guess the good news is she is still having her bowel movements on the toilet. She has really been pushing my buttons too. I thin part if it is jelousy/rebellion/acting out and part of it is me having less patience. I also have to admit that I have not been as good as I should be at having just us time. My DS has been having a growth spurt so we are nursing all the time these days. I need to have DH take DS for even 10 minutes in the evening and have time only with her. I'll see if that helps anything. The upside is that she really does love her baby brother! The other thing that's been hard is going anywhere. It has been really cold and that factors in but honestly, I'm a little scared to go anywhere by myself with an infant and a 2 year old. Babywearing is essencial, make sure you've got a wrap or pouch ready to go!

Good luck, as you can obviously see, it really differs with each kid/family.

[AlwaysByMySide]

Taylor is 2 1/2, also co-slept before baby came along, although she was in her own bed prior to that (long story).

A few days out of the week, I let her fall asleep in bed with the baby and I (with me in the middle) before moving her, and the rest of the time she goes to bed on her own.

I am one of the lucky ones in that she LOVES her little brother, wants to bring me diapers when it's time for a change, wants to hold his hand, constantly remarks on how cute he is, etc. She has been showing her impatience every once in awhile, but for the most part, I downplayed the addition of a new member of the family (we had a LOT going on right before he was born, so there wasn't a big buildup) and she acts like he's been here all along.

When my second was born last year, Taylor was 19 months, and that was much harder than it has been this time around, mostly because she couldn't do as much for herself then, and because of medical issues (in and out of the hospital), we had a hard time establishing a routine.

I agree with the previous posters who said to keep it low-key. That is what has worked for us.

[eilonwy]

Well, I'm not a *new* mother of two, but I do have three and a half years of perspective on that...

I wish I'd realized that it's a lot easier than it feels like it will be. I felt like it was impossible to go anywhere with two kids when BooBah was born (it was hard enough with one!) but I've taken all four out since Bear was born and while it was work (I'm still not recovered from the birth) it wasn't the end of the world.