so what do you do . . .

[mama23k]

OK, so i have a question. what do you do when you are living on one income (dh's)with 4 kids, actively looking for a job, in the hole over $1000 with the bank, had several checks sent back (including rent), and have already cut back as much as dh is willing? we got this way due to too much frivolous spending, totaling out my suburban last month, and hubby being in the hospital a few months ago for over a week (pancreatitis). He is diabetic and is on several meds. I am about to pull my hair out and have lost almost 30 lbs. due to anxiety (can't keep anything down). any ideas would be appreciated.

[Piglet68]

First, I'd suggest taking a deep breath. You can get out of this...it won't be easy and it will take time, but you can...

I guess the first thing I would ask myself is how much you think you can put aside each month to go towards remedy-ing (sp?) these situations. If the answer is "not much" then I might consider doing something more drastic to get out of the immediate hole.

For example, could you move to somewhere cheaper in rent, even if only temporary? Are there relatives you could live with for a few months, using the rent money to put towards building up your bank account so it's in the black and catching up on bills, etc? Rent is usually the biggest expense so anything you could do on that front would help.

Also, you mentioned you are actively looking for a job. Could you grab something quick and easy right now, like say working at Starbucks, waitressing, etc? Just for temporary to bring in some extra money (this assumes, of course, that you will have child care for your kids or at least not have to pay someone for that).

There are lots of tips around this board on how to cut expenses even more.

[mama23k]

where we live right now (western arkansas) you are LUCKY to be able to find a rent house AT ALL. as far as relatives, no one has enough room for our whole crew and those that do are in REALLLLLLLY bad physical condition and couldn't handle the stress. i had thought about seeing if they need another carhop on days at sonic or something in the meantime. i had also thought about selling some stuff, but we don't have much that's actually worth anything.

[doubledutch]

are you willing to share more information? can you post your budget, including debts and assets? since you are having trouble finding work, what about your dh taking on a second job?

i know you said you don't have much worth selling. what about all of your music and movies? if you have a computer, you can just burn copies (or maybe you can do that at a friend's house) and then sell them all. if you have two cars, can you get by on one? if you have a car payment, could you sell it and pay cash for something cheap?

what about some for-cash work while you're looking for a job, like cleaning houses, child care or elder care? or, if you like physical work, what about something like landscaping (or another male-centric industry) that pays more money? that might help you get your appetite back too! detailing cars at a dealership, general laborer or warehouse at a manufacturing plant, shipping/receiving/stocking at a large retailer or supermarket - any of that "guy" stuff is going to pay better.

[nigellas]

First off, HUGE HUGS. This must be so stressful for you.

Secondly, this bothers me:

and have already cut back as much as dh is willing

If y'all are in this type of situation, he needs to buck up and live poor for as long as it take to get back on track. If he has to suffer with no cable (I'm just giving an example- I have no idea if you have cable or not) then that's what he NEEDS to do. (Cable comes to mind for me because it was one area my husband was reluctant to get rid of, but we finally did - we were able to bring it back after our financial situation improved)

We used to have months where we would spend frivolously and have bounced fees too - Finally we set a VERY STRICT budget, including gas $, groceries, etc. Every dollar of our checks is "spent" (has a place that it goes - either savings, bills, etc) before we get the check. And we stick to the budget - if it comes down to if I'm getting low on gas and out of gas $ for the week, then I don't drive to a friend's house, for example.

Hang in there!