Would you lie to your DP to protect your children from vaccines?

[PreciousTreasures]

Just what the title says.

I'm curious about this. If you DP thinks vacs are fine but you completely disagree and you're "responsible" for the doctor visits, etc., would you lie to your DP to protect your children?

[carriebft]

If I had to lie about vaccination in order to protect my kids, there is something seriously wrong with the relationship between DP and I.


At the same time, if he felt he needed to secretly get them vaccinated...serious problems....none of which have very much to do with vaccines.

[Mosaic]

No.

[glorified_rice]

no way. Fortunately, I am lucky to have an awesome relationship with my dh, so lying about anything would never be necessary. I know some aren't so fortunate

[carriebft]

I couldn't answer the poll, because, seriously, if it came down to "I have to lie"/ "he has to lie" it would mean my DP had become a totally different person. And I don't mean not agreement on vaccines...I mean...in order to get to that place where you would go behind each other's backs, so many other things have to broken in the relationship we have.

[blue butterfly]

no way!! could you imagine if DP was secretly immunizeing, wow!! i wouldn't do to DP what i wouldn't want him to do to me!

[Ophelia]

No, I wouldn't, and we actually have extremely huge disagreements on the vax issues, which is why DS has had most of his vaxes, I was bullied into it

But just as I would not want him sneaking behind my back and getting DS vaxes, I would not sneak around and say DS has had vaxes when he hasn't.

[rmzbm]

No, I wouldn't lie to him for ANY reason. If I felt I had to I'd reconsider my marriage.

[CaraNicole]

Oh sometimes I WISH I would of lied...We have come to an agreement (over many months and arguments) any shots DS does not need for school he does not have to get. I think DH will be mad when he figures out DS needs no vax, our state has all 3 exemptions. I feel kinda dirty, but he should have researched before he mistakenly thought a child HAS TO HAVE vax to go to school.

[apelilae]

No, I couldn't. I would never forgive myself if I did and something were to happen or if we were to have troubles with the school system. I can respect and understand why some would.

[Ruthla]

No way. What kind of a relationship would I be in if I had to lie to my DP?

And if I did lie to him, and we split up, and the truth came out, how would that affect custody decisions?

[southernmommie]

I haven't lied and I did my research, he hasn't. If he disagrees he hasn't said so.

[ktbug]

Ideally, it's something that should be discussed before a couple decides to have children. So that all parties are in agreement before there's an actual human being bearing the consequences of whatever decision is made, and so the couple can understand each others' expectations before they're parents. If an agreement can't be reached beforehand, I would think both parties would have to seriously re-evaluate their plans to start a family together.

Of course, that "ideal" situation is elusive and rare.
I would not lie to my partner about his child's health care.
I would fight tooth and nail, and I might defy his wishes, but I wouldn't do so without discussing it with him first. Dishonesty kills love. Especially when the health and welfare of your child is concerned.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I would have if I had to but it never came to that. He still wants the kids vaxed but it isnt going to happen.

[applejuice]

Why would I marry and have children with someone like that?

[STJinNoVa]

Not a chance. We made our decisions regarding vaccines together, because it's wildly inappropriate, imo, for one parent to decide to do something contrary to the other parent's wishes without coming to a conclusion together. If one parent wants to vax and the other doesn't, then there has to be a meeting of the minds, period. No way would I make that decision not only without my partner, but dishonestly and against his wishes. No way. That is so very wrong.

[xmasbaby7]

Although I couldn't lie to my dh(nor would I have to), I have friends whose husbands refuse to have rational conversations about it in any form.

I find them so annoying and disrespectful about to their wives that their behavior is soliciting dishonesty/disrespect, IMO.

[srain]

Originally Posted by xmasbaby7

I find them so annoying and disrespectful about to their wives that their behavior is soliciting dishonesty/disrespect, IMO.

I think that kind of behavior would demand mediation and, if it didn't stop, separation. I think that it's immature for adults in a relationship to be dishonest with each other, even (especially?) if it's a reaction to general disrespect.

[Plummeting]

I can understand why people do it, but realistically I don't know if I would ever be able to do it.

[DreamsInDigital]

I could see myself going to those lengths if my DH wasn't on board with not vaccinating. Thankfully, we've had many in-depth conversations about it and he agrees with me.