And then at what age do you stop buying your sons panties and dresses? Or do you ever stop? Most moms buy their kids underpants until they're at least 15. Do you buy your son black lace Vickies if he asks for them? Or let him borrow your dresses?
a friend of mine has a son, who is now 11, who wears both "boys" and "girls" clothes--and yes, in public. his mother buys him what he wants, and he wears it when he wants and how he wants. he wears a lot of dresses and what not, and then he'll wear jeans and t-shirts.
he does not feel "like a girl" and a lot of people ask him (and his mother) if they suspect that he's gay or transgendered. he as asserted that he feels exactly like a boy, that he likes being male (having male genitalia), and so on.
but he also likes the shapes, colors, and textures of 'girl's' clothing, and he likes the creativity of getting to "play" with both and wear both out in public.
he doesn't wear make up, btw, as he doesn't like the way it feels on his skin or the way it looks (painted, he says).
he just does what he does. he plays sports, he plays video games, and he plays dolls with his little sister.
everyone is perfectly accepting of this--it was harder when he was young because teachers and elders of other sorts would give him trouble, but today, it's considered no problem at all.
Or tell your c cup daughter that she doesn't have to wear a bra because her brother doesn't have to?
right now, i'm bigger than c-cup and not wearing bras. my bras (c-cup) don't fit because i'm pregnant, no other bras are comfortable, and to be honest, what fits is very expensive and i don't want a temporary bra that costs $55. so, i go without.
i think it's safe and healthy to go without as well, as i think it's good for breast health to go braless occassionally (or as much as one wants), and so while i wouldn't tell my daughter it's ok to go braless because her brother can go braless, i would tell her that it's ok to go braless if that's what she wants to do.
there was also a comment about being topless at the beach. Aside from the fact that it's illegal in the US, which i feel is sexist and aribitrary, i have no problem with a daughter going topless or even nude at a beach.
i've been in other countries where nudity is normal, and where women going topless is normal. in these areas, girls of all ages go topless or nude--from little baby girls to elder women and everyone in between.
i feel that these people have a sense of "appropriate modesty" and so on, but they're just in a different culture where nudity doesn't equal sexuality, and in other environments (work, etc), they wouldn't be nude. it's allowed at the beach, or the park, but it's not on the street or at work or what have you.
it's just different, and i'm perfectly ok with it. it is my preference to be nude at the beach, personally. but, with so many nude beaches closing, i end up going to regular beaches in my bikini.